Dungeon Magazine #40


Song of the Fens
by J. Bradley Schell
Levels 1-3

This is an adventure in a swamp to find a tavern-girls anonymous singing love interest. I must have gotten soft during my vacation; the core idea doesn’t suck. While passing a tavern near a fen a girl leans out of a second-story window with the damsel in distress/wont’t anyone help me routine. She’s promised to another but enchanted (not literally) with the singing of a voice in the fen across the road. The party goes in to the fen to find the voice. There they find mud pits, ghouls, zombies and the weird troll that skiffs the swamp at night, only eats fish & veg, and has an AMAZING singing voice. He’s a friendly guy who doesn’t speak much common, is smitten with the prospect of the maidens love, and has some baggage from his youth that causes him to fly in to a murderous rage when he perceives a slight/insult/teasing/mocking. Bringing him back to the inn causes the maiden to freak out, the troll to get insulted, and a fight to emerge.

The whole idea is a cute one. Young tavern-wench brought up on too much Tv … errr, I mean minstrel tales. She doesn’t want to marry the boring knights-son/bro obsessed with being a hero/jousting. Instead she’s fallen in love with the sweet voice in the fen. The sweet voice is a non-traditional troll, but with some baggage. It’s wrapped up in too many words. The rewards are not worth it. The fen is FAR too large to explore effectively, especially for first level party. Eight ghouls and a troll, after a lot of wandering monsters and environment hazards? That’s a bit too much for me.

The bar wenches have names and a 1 sentence personality, which is a GREAT addition. The ghouls in here are nice. They are portrayed more as cannibal humans rather than undead. I kind of like that. The fact they live under a tree in a dirt hollow underground is not really consistent with “human” and is instead more inline with “undead”, but I still assert that the non-traditional undead are the BEST undead. Except skeletons. Basic skeletons should always be Harryhousen skeletons. :)

Khamsa’s Folly
by J. Mark Bickering
Levels 4-6

Five pages of text before the adventure starts. Oh Dungeon, I can’t quit you! There’s an Egyptian temple. The party is conned in to going there to get two artifacts, and followed by the evil con-artist, who ambushes you at the end. In the fifteen room temple you fight a couple of snakes and then a medusa. The medusa battle is one of those big fight setups with several creatures of different types working together to screw the party. Eighteen pages for a short overland and fifteen room. My. Life. Is. A. Living. Hell. There’s a cute environment feature, the Sea of Glass, and the entrance to the temple is through the upper windows … which are now ground level because of the sand. That imagery was communicated well, as was a couple of the sand hazards in the temple. Other than the buried temple imagery, this thing has nothing to offer/recommend it.

Aerie Borne
Ralphe Rea & Greg Rick
Levels 4-6

At a rural inn, the party is hired to retrieve some stolen giant eagle eggs. If the party questions the inn-folk then they can avoid most of the adventure encounters. If they instead go to the eagles nest then they chase the thieves through the forest and end up in the same place they would have anyway. Weird. The inn has the same problem that most older adventures have: it’s described fully. It’s almost like the writers are stuck in the old “dungeon map key” style of play. Instead of abstracting the inn map and describing the people IN the inn, instead the inn if fully described, along with the people in it, in the rooms they are found in. Only the inn employees are described and not the other travelers. That’s a mistake. Even if they know nothing a couple of words describing 10 or so people would have gone a long way. A simple table telling us what the employees job is, where they are found, a personality word, and what they know would have saved several pages of text. The rest of the encounters are pretty straightforward. Not much treasure. A couple of ogres, some spiders, etc. Even the climax is just a wizard in a ruin with some charmed soldiers. This is just a normally adventure. If the inn were shortened/tightened-up, and the encounters beefed up (say, with stuff like that Nymph encounter in Fey Sisters Fate …) you’d have a good adventure. But that’s essentially a rewrite.

The Draven Deep’s Menace
by Jeff Fairbourn
Levels 3-9

This adventure will either be linear or it will be boring; your party’s choice. If they do what they are supposed to do then they will explore a linear underwater cave system, meet some sea elves, and then explore another linear underwater cave system. If they don’t play by the rules then they’ll shortcut things, be bored, finally find the main adventure location, and go home after nuking it. (They have scroll with a nuke spell on it and are supposed to nuke an underwater hobgoblin lair.)

3D adventures don’t work. I’m sure that someone, somewhere, has written a decent one. But in general they don’t work. I’m no historian but I suspect that the underwater and flying rules were meant for players to solve problems in the 2D world. Swim a river in a cave, or fly up to a new location to explore. extended adventures underwater or in the air just don’t fit in the groove well. The DM/adventure has to give the party a bunch of stuff to allow them to fly/breathe, and then everyone gets to have fun with the new movement & encumbrance and environmental rules. Yeah! Bookkeeping!

It’s no different here. I can’t see how one of these 3D adventures would work unless it’s location/objective based with a strong social aspect. The ocean/air is big, you need talky things to interact with to lead you in the right direction and a reason to go to a location that you could/would otherwise swim/fly around. It’s “solved” in this adventure by using an underwater tunnel. A dungeon corridor filled with water. Yeah? I would assert that’s not an underwater adventure. An underwater adventure is not under the water, requiring water-breathing. It should be a 3D adventure with unique aspects of the underwater ecology/lifestyle present. I don’t know what that is. If I did I’d cashed in on my riches by now. All $1.98 of them.

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DCC #81 – The One Who Watches From Below

by Jobe Bittman
Goodman Games
Level 1

The rumors are true! The secret cave of the mystics holds a hoard of treasure vast enough to buy the kingdom seven times over. Gold coins piled as high as snow banks! Gleaming swords and jewel-encrusted wands crackling with arcane energy! Precious gems as large as your fist! The only thing standing between your present circumstances and a life of fabulous wealth is a pesky, slumbering elder god with a penchant for consuming entire worlds, an endless army of vat-grown hybrid monstrosities, a veritable tidal wave of disembodied eyes with awesome powers, giant acid worms, and a curse with the power to rip the still-living eyes from your skull. Do you have the mettle to stare down a god or will your eyes forever adorn the vault of The One Who Watches From Below?

Uh … I usually do an intro here, summarizing the adventure. Go read the publishers blurb again. It’s pretty accurate. AND AWESOME! All the more so because it’s a level-1 adventure.

What’s the line from Anna Karenina? All good DCC adventures are alike, while all bad ones are bad in their own way? Freaky-deaky monsters. Great treasure. Nice environments. Gonzo Appendix N Numberwang. Charm great enough to choke a pig 1,000 times more charming than that pig Arnold from Green Acres. The good DCC adventures are impossible to review because the reviews all sound the same. This is a good DCC adventure.

I’ve been offline for 7 months and have seen a grand total of FOUR 5e adventures. With that wealth of experience I’m going to make the baseless assertion, with confidence, that the best 5E adventures being published have the label “DCC” on them. The power levels appear to be close enough and unless you’re an idiot you can adapt on the fly. Besides, does YOUR 5e adventure have Eye slime? A two-headed cockatrice? Disembodied eyeballs floating around? Laser Harpies? No, your suck-ass 5E adventure does not have Laser Harpies? LAZZZER HARPIES! How the fuck can a “normal” 5e adventure compete with one that has laser harpies?!!?! Oh, you think they can? Did I forget to mention that the LAZER HARPIES have the faces of little girls? Suck it 5e, you got nothing on DCC.

[As an aside, at what point will Goodman/DCC run out of ideas to do with eyeballs? When will they decide that disembodied eyes have been done to death and switch things up to earlobes, or uvula’s?]

Oracle temple. Rumors of gold. Your first level party hits the place. Inside you find freaky stuff, freaky creatures, and a treasure horde the size of 20 huge ancient red dragon hordes guarded by an ancient bloodthirsty titan and a wall with 100000000000000000000 active beholder eyes. Uh …. brief interlude here. This TYPE of play-style is something I really like. You see this in some of the early LotFP adventures, like Stargazer. You also see in a couple of Greenwood adventures: A level-1 group can succeed while a level-20 group could fail. A general environment is presented, ALMOST without regard to challenge level. It’s up to the party to negotiate it. The Brave Little Tailor can succeed while the char-opts will fail. This requires the adventure to be more open ended. The maps must be more complex. A straight-line means you MUST face the challenge directly, usually by combat, and therefore the challenge rating must be appropriate. But with a complex map and an environment that is more fluid then the party has options. That’s what makes this type of “hard” adventure possible: options. Those options are also what make D&D fun. Those are the whacky character plans and the stories told forever on Bills birthday.

The monsters are great DCC monster, unique and freaky. The treasure is good DCC treasure, unique and interesting. The environments are wonderful DCC environments, full of tentacle columns, giants eyeballs, disembodies eyeballs, creatures without eyes, warped and misshapen halfling in jaw-stye robes, cutout illustrations to show the players, a decent enough map, and, of course, the curse and the main treasure vault.

The curse is a fun gimmick. Greedy folk can get cursed, causing their eyeballs to fly out of their head and their body to fall in to a coma. The player then gets to wear a face shield with eye cutouts. They get to control their eyeballs, but they can only communicate with the rest of party through te movement of their eyes. Very cute. I’m a sucker for a fun gimmick and this is a fun gimmick. There are also amble opportunities for the eyeballs to contribute to the party by exploring hard to reach places, taking over/dominating creatures, etc.

The main treasure vault is quite fun also. You come down some stairs. Below you you can see another set of stairs, and at the bottom a big room with a big old pit in the middle. Treasure is piled up around the pit. A LOT of treasure. Like the size of 20 dragons hordes worth of treasure. The closer you get to the pit the more treasure there is … PERFECT fucking setup. EVERYONE knows what is going to happen: something is going to come out of that pit. Much hilarity will inevitably ensue as the tension is ramped up to epic proportions while the party plan & plot and try to execute … all before the primordial bloodthirsty titan emerges from the pit the instant the treasure is touched. Oh, and then all of the eyes on the walls open and start shooting eyebeams at the characters. :)

One more shout-out: you can find large glass jars full of tiny, awake, monstrous fetuses. Drinking the fluid promotes healthy hair & nail growth. Nice! It’s the little touches, the little throw away one-liners that can add so much to an adventure.

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by Michael Curtis
Goodman Games
Level 3

Centuries ago, the glitterdoom came to the dwarves of Steelhand Clan! This divine curse transformed the dwarves into hellish forms with an insatiable greed for gold. Now, a chance encounter breaks open long-sealed gates to unleash the glitterdoom again. Can your adventurers delve into the forgotten halls to confront the subterranean menace?

This is an unremarkable adventure, fairly typical of the printer adventure module market. The formula is a simple branching map, a simple storyline, and a couple of goodies: spells, races, feats, etc. It’s serviceable as long as you’re not looking for anything interesting. Recall that demotivator poster: Perhaps the Purpose of Your Life is to Serve as an Example to Others? Let’s do that here. I noticed one MASSIVE missed opportunity, that I’m going to discuss at length, and one more one, that I will discuss first.

First, let’s get the boilerplate out of the way. Too much backstory reveals a dwarfhold overcome by greed, an ensuing curse, and the hold lost to time. Random dwarf dude hires the party to help him search it for clues to a DIFFERENT lost dwarhold. All he knows is that there are undead inside. Ok, done.

Point Of Interest Number The First: Rewarding Players.
At one point in the adventure the party stumble over a trapped hallway. The ceiling of the hallway has collapsed and it’s evident that there are a number of skeletons underneath … one bony hand stinking out of the rubble. If the party take the time to search then they find nothing. This. Is. Lame If your group dives to the bottom of the upside-down waterfall, then there should be a treasure. If they go out of their way to swim the underground river then there should be a treasure. If they climb to the top, or bottom, of a gorge/chasm then there should be a treasure. If they dig out the bodies of a bunch of dwarves so overcome by greed that they were cursed … then there should be a treasure. When should there not be a treasure? Sitting on the middle of table in an empty room that you have to pass through. The idea here is that the common, the mundane, the easy have all been snapped up. A thinking party, going out of their way, should be rewarded for thinking. That ENCOURAGES them to think. Stonesky Delve did this. A couple of DCC adventures have done this. (I’m thinking specifically of the one with the island under the castle, and there’s a flowstone formation going up, with a treasure at the top if you follow it.) Frequently there will be a magic sword, etc, at the bottom of a chasm in the dungeon … usually with a beastie nearby. If your adventure has someplace weird/hard to get to/hard to explore in it, or that’s non-obvious, then put in a treasure. A clever party, searching the rubble and finding nothing, will give up on being clever because it’s not worth it. This was perfect opportunity to put some gold in the skeletal stomachs of the dead bodies, or in their mouths … so overcome with gold fever they ate it to protect THEIR gold from the other dwarves! Freaky! Helps tell the story of the place! Rewards level/inquisitive players! But instead … the adventure has nothing to be found under the rubble and I get to say that this is more similar to 3E shovel-ware. Not-terrible shovel-ware, but, still …

The Core Issue: Suspension of Disbelief/Theming.
I don’t know what to call this. I’m a plebe from a public school so I’m going to compare it to the suspension of disbelief issue in Science Fiction literature. Basically, you can get anyway with any major deviation form now, but the rest of the story must flow from that new fact. I might back comparisons to theming. If you are writing a horror book it PROBABALLY shouldn’t be full of AHNOLD-style action. Your theming should be consistent. That’s not the case here.

I’m going to focus in on one line in the adventure. Just one. It may be the best idea, by far, presented int he adventure. At one point the party is inside a giant mining bucket, using a winch inside to descend in to the darkness. Then they hear a number of ominous whispering voices saying “Come down and play with us.” Holy Fucking Shit! Are you kidding me? If I was faced with that my PC would shit their pants and I’d start winching the thing back up, regardless of the feelings of the others. That’s a GREAT line. That line could have set the tone for the ENTIRE adventure. Imagine the entire thing … you’d have something like The Inn of Lost Heroes, one of the best published adventures. Instead, nothing else in the adventure is consistent with that line. It’s a generic monster slugfest. Enter room. Kill monster. Next room. It doesn’t matter that the main enemy is undead dwarves. They are just treated like Yet Another Thing to Kill. They get treated a bit like zombies, who can move through rock like ghosts, and who can drain stamina like a shit-your-pants stat-draining undead of old. Instead, they get boring old descriptions and are treated like a orc who can move through rock walls. Joy. At one point they fire at the party with their crossbows through a portcullis. Uh … Undead using crossbows? Not quite the cold murderous rage of the intelligent undead or the mindless death-dealing of the skeleton/zombie class. There’s nothing SCARY about them. There’s nothing scary about the environment. What’s that Dragonsfoot series? Where the Fallen Jarls Sleep? That series had good undead. (and devils, for that matter.) It gave great advice for making the undead scary and real.

Look, I’m not saying Curtis should have written a horror adventure. What I AM saying is that he’s got a TERRIFIC line in this adventure. On a second draft I wish he would have recognized that line and gone back and started over, building off of that line. Consistent theming. Building tension. Freaking the fucking players out and making them really, really REALLY want to find a vault full of gold in order to continue on with the horror. Not unfair combat. Not overpowered monsters. Fear. Dread. Apprehension. Fear of the Unknown. Just exactly what IS in the black hole in ground? Treasure, for sure, we know that. But at what cost?

Instead, a generic hack.

I got some backlog to review with DCC & 5E, and then on to the more recent OSR adventures.

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The Fey Sisters Fate


Chris Doyle
Goodman Games
Level 1

The cries of battle echo in the rustic wilderness, as a pair of fey sisters defend the ancient Briarwood against invaders. When the town of Bur Hollow sends militia men to support their fey allies, they disappear without a trace. The adventurers must enter the Briarwood and save them!

Chris Doyle, the designer, shows a shred of promise. There are some very bright parts to this adventure. Unfortunately, they are the window dressing, and the core remains mundane. It is, however, more than you usually see in an adventure. If this were his first adventure that he’s written I’d say he showing some serious promise but needs an editor and needs to jump in with both feet. It’s his 25th-ish adventure though, and I’ve not seen the other 24 so … . This is one of the most conflicted reviews I’ve written in the last seven months.

This is a simple linear journey up river and through several set pieces until you defeat the bullywugs … err.. frog folk. The adventure quite verbose, perhaps because it was one of the first 5E products. It’s also pretty simple, being a linear track. It has some good monster and treasure descriptions, which, at least seven months ago, tended to be few and far between in published adventures. There’s some morality embedded in the adventure which I always hate to see but is easily enough ignored. There is at least one encounter worth stealing.

There’s a page of so of backstory here which details how two dryads have been harassed by some bullwugs, and how they’ve responded by manipulating goblins and townsfolk. The end-all is that the town send you to find some missing guardsmen, which leads you to a dryad and another “quest”, which leads to the captured guards and another “quest”. You fight a bunch of bullywugs. It’s all quite linear. Go to A, then B, then C. The writer acknowledges that. I’m not sure that makes it ok, but they do at least tell you that they didn’t try when writing it.

The adventure proper … is …. I don’t know. Not good … with a single exception. Linear. There are only a few forced fights in it and they tend to be at the beginning and end. Most of the rest of the encounters can be approached with creative thinking. IE: it’s still linear and you’re still going to have to face the encounter, but it’s not that 4E nonsense of REQUIRING you to fight. Instead you could sneak around or light some fire or let loose your bag of possums or whatever. Two of the big encounters are on multi-level platforms in a tree and along/around a crude beaver-type dam. They are not very good. I get that the writer is TRYING to set up an interesting environment, but I don’t think it works. An interesting environment must communicate a picture to the DM. It’s hard to be specific here. The DM must grasp the environment well enough in their mind that when the players say “is there a chandelier I can swing on?” that the DM can Yes, even if the text doesn’t say there’s a chandelier. You must have enough of a picture to have the ogre grab a muddy decayed tree root from th beaver dam to throw at the players. No encounter description can ever provide the degree of detail needed to support this type of play. What it CAN do though is paint a picture of a scene that the DM’s mind fills in. Sound murky? I didn’t say it was easy. This adventure, and most adventures, generally fail in this area. They don’t inspire.

But Generally Fail doesn’t mean Complete Fail. This adventure hits one VERY high spot and almost succeeds in another place. There’s an earthen “dungeon” of a few rooms under a tree. Mostly it’s mechanical text. Thrown in the middle is some description of tree roots hanging down. That INSTANTLY brings to mind the witch scene in The 13th Warrior. Perfect! I grasp the whole thing instantly and can fill in as needed. In the by-far-the-best-encounter, the writer not only creates an interesting encounter but he also manages to paint the picture. I’m going to try, but I’ll fail: There’s a pretty, short, naked girl on a rock in the middle of a small drying pond. The landscape is full of dried up marsh type stuff; almost no water of any size to speak of, but enough mud, dried & wet, to make life a pain for the party. The nymph has crossed dry land from a nearby drying-up pool and is exhausted form the trip. Eventually she tells the party her sisters are there and need help; they can’t make the journey and there’s a mean bear trying to eat them and their pool is drying up, etc. The writer, unlike me, paints a good picture of environment. The encounter is a good one: not a straight up fight, magical creatures who are not being straight-up dicks, and a PROBLEM to solve. Sure, you can beat on the bear, but you could also lure it away, etc. The nymph at the other pool need some help. The lone one gets a name, but the other five don’t get names or personalities, and should have. Just something like “Marydale; flirty. Lillysun; bold”, etc, would have helped a lot. There’s always a nit to pick, but this encounter is GOOD, and worth stealing. More writers need to do more things like this. Brave Little Tailor, HO!!!!!!

The monster descriptions have some nice bright spots. The mosquitoes have delicate gossamer wings twice their body size, and black coloring with a foot long proboscis and a pair of bulbous multi-facated eyes. The dryad looks like a delicate elf maiden with brown-red hair, and ashen skin etched with wrinkles, with dress covering the curves of her body. There are a couple of other examples. These are pretty good. I’m always looking for a decent monster description. Not just “its a goblin”, but rather a description of the goblin. It’s doesn’t have to be long, as these examples illustrate, but they do need to have some adjectives & adverbs in there. You can see that in a curvy body or gossamer wings or multi-facated eyes. It may sound hokey, but just a little of this can go a LONG way to cementing a kind of platonic ideal of the creator in the DM’s head. Then the DM can take it from there. To be sure, some of the descriptions suck, like the ogre description which is quite bland. And other creatures don’t have a description and could use one. For example, there’s a bear with no description. But it’s clear from the text he’s wounded. A flap of raw skin exposed, or his skeleton showing through his leg, or a stinking gangrenous wound would go a LONG way to helping out. I would note that I misread the Bullywug … errr.. Frog Folk Taskmaster entry and thought that he could remove his tongue and use it as a whip. That would be pretty cool! Who wouldn’t want to use a giant bullywug tongue in combat!

Similarly, the treasure descriptions tend to be above average. There’s an ivory box decorated with a coiled dragon, housing an electrum hourglass filled with powered emerald sand. Who the fuck in their right mind wouldn’t want THAT hourglass for the inn back home? This is SOOOO much better than “trease parcel worth 250gp” and it requires almost no more effort. It fires the imagination. It leads to questions. It inspires. It treats you as if you are playing a game of imagination and wonder, instead of yet-another-resource-collection-game-“you find 4 yellow cubes that you can spend with your 6 red cubes to make a black cube that give you +1 on attack …” The magic items have that little bit extra also. Parmalae is a magic rapier. Thin & delicate, gilded in pure silver, when you swing it blue runes appear on the flat, with an electrum hilt in the shape in the design of ivy. Once per day, on a hit, the target can be gilded by a glittery fey lining. THAT’s a fucking magic item! It SCREAMS fey origin. What’s it’s history?! Who Knows?!? Who gives a shit it’s a +1 weapon, that’s the kind of magic item someone will keep LONG after they find a boring old +2. (And if your group has someone who would keep the +2 then you kick the asshat out of our group. Why play with the soulless?) There are other examples as well.

The writing style is verbose and it’s readability is further marred by by an overly large font and the use of italics for large blocks of read-aloud text. All of these, together, make the adventure difficult to read. Guy Fullerton wrote an entire series on adventure layout. If you’re an amateur, go read it. If you’re a professional, go hire James Kramer. I hate bitching about this kind of stuff. It seems petty. It’s not content. It’s gotta be pretty bad before I complain, and I’m complaining here. Readability is pretty poor.

Finally, the writer embeds morality in to the adventure. Fuck. You. Chris. Doyle. If you fight to subdue some dazed guardsmen you get an XP bonus. If you turn down a reward you get an XP bonus. Don’t tell me how to play/run D&D. That shit belongs in a DMG, not an adventure, under “alternate/sucky-ass play styles.”

Is this thing worth $10? I don’t know. How much is a gallon of milk in 2015? $10 is 2 beers, or also, less than the cost of one top-shelf/mixology drink. Its it worth that much? Yeah, I think it is. Would I run it? Hmmm, no. I have impossible high standards. You might like it though, especially is you think most published adventures are ok.

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Clickbait: I wrote an adventure!

I have a very good excuse.

I was writing an adventure.

I saw someone wrote a quite positive review of The Seclusium of Orphone of the Three Visions.

So I went off and wrote my own adventure. It was a lot of work; more than I thought it would be. You can get it here.

There’s also a deluxe version available!

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Hoard of the Dragon Queen [5e]


Wolfgang Baur & Steve Winter
D&D 5E
Levels 1-7

In an audacious bid for power the Cult of the Dragon, along with its dragon allies and the Red Wizards of Thay, seek to bring Tiamat from her prison in the Nine Hells to Faerun. To this end, they are sweeping from town to town, laying waste to all those who oppose them and gathering a hoard of riches for their dread queen. The threat of annihilation has become so dire that groups as disparate as the Harpers and Zhentarim are banding together in the fight against the cult. Never before has the need for heroes been so desperate.

This is an 8-episode adventure that is, generally, not very good. It’s not the episodic nature, that I can accept. WOTC wants to run D&D at game stores every week and to do that they need episodic content. I get that. I might quibble that they could do better at the episodic nature and making it feel less railroad, but I get it. No, the adventure is of lower quality because it feels like a 4e episodic adventure. Here’s a monster. Go fight it. Next! A potentially exciting and dynamic environment is introduced! And then they screw it up with the details … or lack thereof. As a DM & player you have a lot choices in what system you play and which of the tens of thousands of published adventures you play. There is no reason to play this except for “it’s what everyone else is playing at the game store on Wednesday night.” That’s a shame.

I see a few major issues with the adventure. First, it’s generic. It’s very non-specific, so much so that it seems like the designers are actually afraid of offering details. They will provide reams of data on the over-arching story and plot but then when you get to the actual adventure there are words like “throw a couple of encounters at the players” … with nothing else present. Or they clearly have an idea of how the adventure should proceed, like with the lizard man allies in episode 6, but are terrified of being accused of railroading. This extends to the descriptions, which are almost universally uninspiring. They feel flat and boring. The magic items are completely generic “ 1 sword”, and the titular HOARD of the Dragon Queen is actually abstracted throughout most of the adventure. The text does not inspire you, the DM, and that may be the most important sin.

It is very rare for me to complain in a review about formatting I care much more about the content and the imagination present in the adventure, but this time I feel I need to. They have chosen a very conversational style that contributes to a Wall of Text issue. There is not enough use of offsets and bullet lists and the like to allow the DM to reference important information quickly. This conversational style confusion tends to mix with some some poor choices for organization of text. In episode 8, for example, the first part involves getting in to the castle, but this information is scattered throughout the text of the first part.

Three ARE issues with railroad, with lack of player agency, with villain monologues and “pass a skill roll if you want to go on the adventure”, but these are minor and more easily fixed, both by the DM and by the designers in the next adventure.

Episode 1 – Town under Siege

While pursuing the most generic hook known to man: caravan guard. In the first 2 D&D products that’s twice now that it’s been used. Time to maybe branch out and try a hook with some life to it? And both times it’s been a complete throwaway. The hook is literally “maybe the players are caravan guards.” That’s pretty lame. So lame that it makes me think they are pushing some kind of agenda. Idle speculation is idle though; in the end the hook is lame and reflects badly … but accurately foretells what it to come. Generic Lameness. You come upon a town being looted by monsters! Mercenaries, kobolds, and a dragon zoom about through the streets! Oh’s No’s! You’re then presented with 8 little encounters to run, one of which should be done first. The first is a family being chased by kobolds. The goal is to rescue the family and then they’ll tell you to take them to the central keep, where in you can pick up the rest of the missions. The kobolds ignore you, thinking you are their allies. If you escort the family to the keep then you are the last ones through before the gate is barred right before the keep is surrounded by enemy forces. It all smacks me as a little … forced. Look, yeah, I know why. You want to give the players missions to do. But there should be LOTS of ways to do that without forcing them in to the keep and setting up some kind of EPIC MOMENT when the gates are barred behind you. What about the same thing in the church? Or a family in a cellar? Or any of a dozen other things that could have been added? But no, rather than the thing being run as a dynamic environment with brief suggestions it instead has to be run as a railroad. BULL. SHIT.

Like I said earlier, I could quibble with the nature of how the episodes are done, and make comments on how they could be less railroady … but … ok, I guess I just did. The GENERIC content though is what breaks this. There is something that quite literally looks like a skill challenge. To sneak through town you need to make stealth checks. For every two you have a random encounter. Ok, that’s not bad. It even makes sense! But then the encounters … ug! 6 kobolds. 6 cultists. 2 cultists and an acolyte. That’s what passes for CREATIVE CONTENT from Wolfgang & Winter. Seriously? You get exactly one interesting option: 1d6 townsfolk being hunted by raiders. That’s it. That’s something a DM can work with. But just a generic list of monsters? Why the hell did they even both? Give the thing some life! How about those 6 kobolds have a wagon piled high with bed frame and dressers? Of the bandits are rolling some kegs of ale down the road? It wouldn’t kill you to add a single sentence each and it would do WONDERS to help bring the scenes to life.

This same thing is the problem with the rest of the first episode. The encounters are presented as generically as possible. Yes, the DM must bring the encounter to life, we all know and accept that. But the designers job is to give the DM the tools to do that. To help them. This don’t do that. The vast majority of the text is spent on bullshit superfluous text instead of communicating an evocative and dynamic encounter. “The Cult of the Dragon led by dKJSDFKHD KDFgwkDGF the high K:WDH:KE:H of K@WGKEGKE@ is …” Ug! How about instead you tell me that the encounter with the dudes at the stream bank has them about to drown a group of townsfolk? That would be cool! That create something to work with! The issues extends to the maps, or lack thereof. The church, mill, stream bank, are all supposed to be exciting encounter locations. I can understand not want to enable the tactical miniatures boardgames crowd, but it wouldn’t kill you to provide a small map of the environment with some interesting shit on it for the players to key off of. Reeds to hide behind! Slippery bank! Steep dropoff! Pile of hay, smoldering!

If you put “the party will encounter 3 groups of kobolds on the way to the inn” in the adventure then that is exactly what is going to happen in AP. The asshat DM is going to say “ok, you encounter kobolds, Roll init” and then they are going to say it twice more. I know the rules can’t cure stupid, or a bad DM, but you can at least give the tool something to work with. “You encounter a group of kobolds rolling ale barrels down the road.” That provides SO many more options!

You get glimpses every now and then that they are trying. The Governor, wounded, trying to marshall a desperate defense … but it’s just a glimpse and then it’s gone. Rather than coming across as a desperate town under siege with a beleaguered leader instead you get generic-ville, population YOU. :(

I don’t get it. Standards & Practices maybe? I’m not asking for full on gore mode but there’s hardly any flavor here at all.

Oh, wait, wait, I forgot. Governor MORON gets pissy at you if you’ve done something that caused the death of one of the townsfolk. Jerk moron NPC. I suggest gutting him.

Also, what’s with the duel? You put a solo PC up against a monster that they can’t possibly win against … and then if they actually manage to do so they are rewarded by the creature just reappearing later on. “Replace him with another 1/2 dragon warrior if the party manage to defeat him.” So …. The parties actions have no consequences … is that the message you are trying to send?

Episode 2 – My, grandma, what a generic camp you have!

This has the party gathering some information about the raiders base camp, after dealing with a couple of rear-guards. The problem with the content here is much the same as the first episode … the lack of it.

The mission is not bad, just a brief synopsis from THE GOVERNOR, but then it quickly spirals down with the multi-paragraph exposition from a monk who wants you to do something for him. How they decided what to bore the players with and what to generalize is not clear. The governors paragraph is written as DM text and points out the particulars he’d like you to follow up on. But the monks text is all read-aloud. “We fought a particularly savage battle against the raiders.” Uh huh. Nobody talks like that. It’s too long and feels stilted. SHOW, don’t TELL. “I lost sight of brother Maltese while Brother Carl was being gutted by these two mercenaries in purple.” See how much better that is? The governors text is straightforward and fact-based, without ANY embellishment at all. No “sitting at his camp table, surrounded by aides” or “speaking to the players while getting gangrenous arm removed.” That’s the entire problem with this adventure. No Soul.

The first of the rear-guard action is with some stragglers. This isn’t too badly done. Cultists and kobolds cooking some stolen chickens over a fire, the humans bullying the kobolds …. So the designer tried, and does better than usual with this, adding some specificity to the encounter to allow the DM to visualize it and bring it to life for the players. But even then … “bullying.” Wouldn’t it be better if the scene was cemented more in the DM’s and players head? The humans grabbing a bird from the kobold and kicking over the stewpot, laughing while the kobolds scrambled to pick up the pieces from the dirt to eat?Look at how few words that took and how much better it is.

The actual rearguard is lame as all get out. It could use a little map and some extra life, like they chuck boulders down on people, or there’s a streamed to follow or ALMOST ANYTHING AT ALL. The content is “make a DC check based on what you know. You see the ambush from X distance away,.” Screw. That. I’m being totally serious. There is NO creative content at all in this section. It’s just presented as a boring and mundane fight with no details beyond who is fighting you. It is one of the lamest things I have ever seen from a big name publisher. They should be ashamed of themselves for asking for money for this.

The raiders camp, I hate myself for even typing something so uninspiring, has brief flash of things going on, but they quickly dissipate in a mess of WALL OF TEXT. There’s this great thing they do where every time they are communicating info that a cultist would know they say something like “the cult of dragon – blessed be her glory – is on the way to destroy the world! The whole ‘insert the crazy catchphrase” thing is fun, as is the silly cultist salute of wiggling fingers. And … that’s it. It’s clearly written to be explored exactly one way: pretend you belong there. There is a lip service sentence or two about other options, but the VAST VAST majority of the text assumes you just walked in and they don’t recognize you don’t belong. There are references to a cave with hatchlings in it … but no details. There are references to a leader … but no details. In fact YOU ARE EXPLICITLY KEPT FROM INTERESTING The leaders tent is guarded by some guards who do not let ANYONE in. They do not fall for tricks. Period. It says so EXPLICITLY. We put this totally interesting thing on the map, this thing that is totally relevant to your adventure/mission, and then explicitly do everything possible, including fiat, to keep you from it. What planet are the designers from? Again, flashes of brilliance “maybe one of the officers assigns you to a few hours of food prep”, but not NEARLY enough of it. And, “peel potatoes while carving Tiamat heads in to them” is much more fun than “food prep.”

The conversational style of the text also stood out in this section. I don’t usually complain about formatting issues, but the style chosen here is crazy. There are details buried all throughout the text of the sections, buried in long paragraph descriptions. You’re going to have to pull out a highlighter and ready it several times and take notes in order to run the thing effectively. I don’t see how it’s possible to refer to the text effectively during play at all. I don’t get this choice at all. It’s like they are purposefully obfuscating what’s going on in order to comply with some design directive to be “conversational.”

Episode 3 – The Return of the Suckitude

Back in town the guy you were sent to rescue (you did rescue him, didn’t you? I mean, if you didn’t then the hook is not possible, so I hope you rescued him …) wants you to go back to the camp and look around some more. He’s got some cash. Uh … are the designers even trying? It’s like they just slapped down the first thing that came to mind and didn’t give any thought to this at all. Why are you going? Because that’s the adventure we’re playing tonight and if you want to play then say “Yes.” That can be valid sometimes but there’s a spectrum here and the hook for episode 3 is WAY down at the “bad” end of it. Here’s a quote: “If the party accepts …” Uh … what if they don’t accept? It’s the combination of a lame railroad that isn’t trying at all that is asserting it’s NOT a lame railroad that’s not trying at all that is frustrating for me.

The game is generally abandoned when the party returns. There’s a neutral encounter in camp, but it’s written in such a confusing way that you don’t realize the opportunities at first. There are some SCOUTS hanging around at the abandoned camp site acting as hunters. It turns out that the evil cultists hired some woodsmen to go bring in game meat for them and they are still there, brining in game meat for the dudes in a cave. They are gruff and taciturn unless you have a ranger, etc. They are just dudes doing a job and don’t give a shit what you do to the camp. AND THAT’S IT. That’s the description. This could be a knock-it-out-of-the-park NPC encounter. The designers have introduced a faction, and factions mean social opportunities and social opportunities in D&D mean FUN! Another two sentences, with a name or a quirk, or something idiosyncratic, could have turned this in a rock-star level encounter. But instead the general trend of “no detail” is continued. I don’t get it. I don’t understand. WHY? Why is there such a lack of ANY detail that would make the adventure stand out and be memorable? I’m not asking for an epic set-piece. Those are forced and generally suck. But why not give enough to INSPIRE the DM running the encounter to greatness. That’s your job as the designer. Why aren’t you doing it?

You learn that the only people left in camp are the hunters and the dudes in the dragon hatchling cave (Ah! So that’s where it is! In episode 3! Now I know why the area was completely locked and unavailable in episode 2! Because it wasn’t on the railroad yet!) The thirteen or so encounters in the dragon hatchling cave are some of the worst that I have ever seen. Ok, maybe that’s hyperbole. Maybe it’s not factually correct. But that’s how I feel as I sit here typing this, the book next to me. I am absolutely crushed that they suck so much. I can recall one, maybe two, being interesting. “The cavern below is carpeted with a profusion of fungi ranging from a few inches high to nearly as tall as an adult human.” That’s what suffices for a description of one of the more fantastic of all D&D environment: a fungi garden. Think of all of those WONDERFULLY evocative images … and then think back to that sentence. Go ahead, do a google image search on D&D fungi garden. Then go back and read that sentence again. There is NONE of the magic from those images in that sentence. Where’s the wonder? Where’s the FANTASTIC? Where the magic of D&D and your imagination? Not here. The designers can’t be bothered to communicate that.

Oh, wait wait! Here’s a good one! You know that moron dragon warrior that killed on of your dudes in that TOTALLY set up and LAME duel in the first episode? Here’s in here again! If you killed him, then it doesn’t matter, there’s another replacement dude in here! BECAUSE YOUR ACTIONS AS A PLAYER DON’T MATTER. Oh, and let’s say you didn’t fight him. Let’s say you snuck through camp in episode 2. Dude don’t really know you at all. “You look familiar …” he says “I’ve seen you around camp” Hey! This is going well! We might be able to bluff, or get some info! Uh … no. That’s not the STUPID RAILROAD you are on charlie! “If you came looking for trouble then I am the trouble you seek!” and he attacks immediately. Yup. You’ve taken the time to be thoughtful and careful and sneak and bluff and get in good with the enemy and you’ve even gotten on the dental plan and … and you are rewarded by him attacking you outright. BECAUSE YOU ACTIONS AS A PLAYER DON’T MATTER. This is SO insulting. I am so disgusted. Et tu, Wolfgang?

Again, there are bits and pieces of greatness here. There’s he standard “swarming bat room” but this time it’s got some stirge mixed in. All Hail Discordia! Wonderful. There’s also a nice trap that seems right out of 1973: a curtain of fur strips, much as in a meatlocker, but with a lot of small fishhooks in it covered in poison. That’s AWESOME! It has started with an idea: “wouldn’t it be cool if …” and then someone has attached some mechanics to it. That’s SO much better than saying “I need a trap. How about 2d6 … let’s see, a pit with spiked in the bottom.” The imagineering is clearly coming first in the fishhook curtain and I LOVE it.

But the rest? It’s like it’s been run through the generic-izer, or that it’s been outsourced to someone else who is just going through the motions. Like the fungi cavern, it’s as if they just don’t care at all about an evocative environment. I’m not talking about reams of text being present, but rather inspirational text. The dragon hatchery is just … I don’t know … not present? “The chamber that opens at the bottom of the stairs is immense. WA wide ledge runs along the left wall and drops away in to a pit on the right. Many stalactites descend from the ceiling.” Congratulations; you’ve said nothing of consequence. You’ve stated boring and mundane facts without any inspiration or imagination behind them. Ad this is the dragon , one of the core focuses in this episode!

Episode 4 – Frustrating Potential

This episode may have more potential energy than anything I’ve seen in a great while. It’s also extremely frustrating in it’s ambiguity. And it’s outcome. At issue is the design guidelines they’ve chosen. They’ve tried to lay out a very non-specific adventure with specifics for you, the DM, to liven things up. When combined with the conversational style of the writing it comes across as “Hey, maybe you could have a farmer go to bed one night.” I think I get what they are trying to do. They are trying to lay out a general adventure and then suggest things that could happen. Kind of like the OLD MERP products. Here’s this cool awesome keep and maybe in third age the ghost of a gully dwarf attacks. But then that’s the problem. It’s like this product is trying to straddle the line between two different type of products. Is it s a module an/or guidebook? A product describing a general place very generally and then suggesting, in very grand and remote terms, some adventures that could take place there? Or is it meant to assist the DM in running a 2-hour D&D game every Wednesday night? The former implies that I, the DM, has to spend 6 hours preping the game with maps, creating monster encounters, making notes, highlighting, filling in details, and all of that. The second implies that a decent amount of the work has been done for me. Both are valid. But the product is clearly MEANT to be the second while instead doing the former … and not very well at that.

Remember that the cult was gone from the camp in episode 3? In this one the party chases the cult to track down where their wagons of stolen loot are going. You take a river journey to “catch up” with them in Baldur’s Gate and then join a massive wagon train/caravan, which happens to include the cult along with a lot of others non-cultists, on their way to the next major waypoint. There are lots of NPC’s provided and lot’s of general ideas provided on things that could happen along the way. Ultimately though, the entire point of this episode is … for an NPC to kill another NPC so the cult can think negatively of the party. Yes, it’s a movie. Nothing the party does is important. Oh, sure, you can fun watching the stuff unfold, but it’s just a Disney ride: sit in the car and watch the events unfold. THAT’S NOT D&D! How much time & effort online has been spent debunking these grand epic movies? It’s can’t be foreign to Kobold Press, Wolfgang, and Steve, that is is just about the worst possible thing that can happen in an adventure. “Oh look, the DM’s pet NPC is fighting the DM’s villain NPC. My, aren’t they awesome. YAWN” And I don’t want to hear anything about how it needs to happen to set up the encounters in the next episodes. If that’s the requirement then you’ve done a pretty piss poor job of designing an adventure, episodic or not.

This episode runs about ten pages. The first three or so are a total waste of space. They detail you coming back to town from episode 3, getting horses to ride ahead to another town, and then having a god-aweful adventure in an inn. In the inn you meet a boisterous tool who wants to test you. If he’s favorably impressed then, after day or so of this, he takes you a back room to talk to two faction bosses. This is quote from one of the faction bosses: “thanks to you we know double what we knew a tenday ago.” Yeah? Then why did we put with that NPC shits antics in the inn? You’ve been back here the entire time in your room letting us screw around with your lackey tool when you’re about to send us on a urgent & time-sensitive mission? Oh, hey, what if we didn’t partake or your reindeer games? What if we don’t favorable impress your NPC lackey? I guess he never takes us to the backroom so we can play D&D tonight? Is that it? This kind of inane design is all over the adventure, in most of the episodes. It’s written exactly one way. Again, I understand it’s episodic, but that’s no excuse for the poorly written content INSIDE of each episode. Ok, still screwing around … dude sends you downriver to Baldur’s Gate where you’re to hire on to a massive caravan that will also include the cultists, in disguise. There is reams of detail in these three pages, almost none of which contribute to an interesting adventure or an evocative environment. Just reams of intentions and why’s and histories in an attempt to explain absolutely everything that is happening. A little of that may be fine, but even better is when it’s done in such a way that the party can impact things. That is relevant to the interactions the players characters will have. Content needs to SUPPORT actual play, not be full of useless detail that or detail that will never come up. “But it could come up!” So could the dietary requirements of the present king of France, but that’s not appropriate for the designers to burn words on either.

The maddening part is … there’s some good stuff in here! There’s an actual open-ended encounter or two in this, such as The Golden Stag , that inspires the imagination, is not forced on the party, and is open-ended. It’s one of the best encounters in the episode, and in the first four episodes. There’s something like 26 or so NPC’s presented for the party to interact with. There are a dozen or so encounter ideas for the party to have in their journey along the road. It’s all GREAT. There’s more content here than you could ever use in a 2 hour D&D encounters game session. You could easily work this shit for four or 6 or eight hours before it got old. The NPC”s are great, the encounter suggestions are great … well …. I mean … except for the fact that nothing happens. To over summarize, the NPC’s are described in some words like “taciturn but treats his horses well.” or “friendly but aloof and mistreats his draft animals.” This is then supplemented by some road events. “Someone tries to buy something from a PC at far too low a price. It goes missing that night. A third party stole it.” There’s actually a paragraph or so for each PC and a paragraph or two for each encounter. But then generalizations of the encounters are accurate: SOMEONE is interested and SOMEONE else stole it. It’s up to you to decide who. This is where the whole “here’s a bunch of parts. Enjoy putting them all together” thing comes in to play. The lack of any specific inspiration for these encounters makes them poor encounters. “It’s D&D! You can do anything!” is all fine & great, but a persons mind works better to fill in the details when you given a little constraint. IE: too much open-ended-ness does not lead to imagination but rather to generic dullness. This is further exacerbated with statements like “go ahead and insert a monster encounter or two along the way.” Hey, Wolfgang, I’m paying YOU for YOUR imagination. I could come up with own adventure if I wanted to do the work. That’s not the point of me dumping you, Kobold, and WOTC the $35 I paid for this. How about YOU use YOUR prodigious skills to add some life & flavor to things?

It’s also a bit frustrating that the cultists are portrayed as faceless villains. They are just referred to a “cultists” instead of “Bob the cultists who loves Tiamat and has a daughter in Baldur’s Gate.” This is notable in two regards. First, there are SO many naked personalities in this episode that the lack of names/personalities for the cultists really stands out. They become the faceless and generic enemy. “Kill them and take their stuff.” I’m fine with murder hobo’ing, but that’s not what this episode is. It’s one long social encounter. A mini-village on wheels. To not provide the cultists anything close to a face in an environment in which you are forced, over several weeks, to socialize with them, is a grave mistake. If I recall correctly, the cultists in … Against the Reptile Cult, all got a sentence of personality, and that’s part of what made the adventure fun. Again, it was a social adventure, in a village.

Finally, the railroad aspects are really bad. I guess they wanted some kind of epic story arc where you hit all of the wonder of continent, and thus had to get the PC’s on the road from place to place and away from the sleepy, destroyed, town they started in. But there’s no impact you can have. Two days before town is reached one of the NPC’s kills a cultists. Nothing can be proved, but the cultists believe it was one of the party members. That’s the goal of this episode. Want to kill the cultists? Want to loot their treasure wagons? Want to get friendly with them or convert? Want to do good and strike a blow and defeat the cult, like a goodey goodey adventurer? woah, Woah, WOAH! That’s not the railroad pal! A few sentences on this, and how it would fit in to the longer arc, would have been much more welcome and supported play much better than the bullshit ’test’ at the inn.

Episode 5 – Of Mice & Mensch

In contrast to the last episode this one is feels very light. It weighs in at three or so pages and details a roadhouse. Once arriving in the destination city the cultists hire on to a DIFFERENT wagon train going north to a way-station/roadhouse. It’s being used by crews rebuilding the road to Neverwinter. But the cultists are also using it to offload their treasures. They stash their loot there and in the middle of the night some lizard men sneak in to fetch it. The party is still on the “find out where the loot is going” mission, and thus they need to figure out where the is and where its going … and thus how its getting out of the roadhouse.

The introductory text here is not very strong. It’s supposed to communicate that the cultists “hire on” to another caravan going north, the Road Crew. This entire section is confusing in relating that information. That’s really just a matter of some better editing. More serious is the ten-day journey to the roadhouse. There are supposed to be a few encounters with creatures along the way, but they belong to the throw-away category of adventure design. “1 troll” or “2 ogres” or “8 giant frogs.” Stunning design guys, really stunning. “But that’s not the focus! It’s an investigation in the roadhouse!” Then why’s it in the adventure? If it’s in the adventure then it needs to contribute to the play. If it’s not doing that then it needs to be changed and/or removed. <— Period. I refuse to put up with encounters being abstracted away like this. Why not just tell them to roll on the table in the book? Why not just roll a d6 and on a 1-4 announce that the party won and had a good time? (On a 5-6 you get to re-roll.) There IS a nicely abstracted mechanism to handle the NPC guards also along for the trip. Roll 1d4-2; that’s the number of NPC guards who died in the encounter, while fighting their own batch of monsters. That’s a nice simple abstraction.

Speaking of abstraction … this is now the THIRD time the party will have seen the exact same cultists. The same nameless, faceless cultists with no personalities. Again, during another SOCIAL adventure in ANOTHER caravan during an investigation which is, by it’s very nature, SOCIAL. The height of this absurdity in design decision-making comes at one of the major events in this section: a duel. The cultist killed in episode 4 had a good friend. The good friend calls someone in the party, insults them, and attacks, out for blood. There’s supposed to be some build-up to this. Bad looks, stink eye, slights, and so on. But the villain here is just totally unnamed. A VETERAN (i.e.: use the veteran monster stats.) The pronoun used indicates it’s a woman. That’s it. No Name. No personality. NOTHING. This is what is supposed to inspire the DM to run a great encounter? And RIGHT before this encounter is listed there’s another one, a little throw-away thing, that DOES finally give one of the cultists a personality: a 1/2 elf who’s is stealing from the cult. Holy Smokes! Not all of them are blood-thirty fanatics?!? Look, I wouldn’t mind if they all were 1-dimensional, I’d just stab them in the face anyway, but if you’re going to force the party to interact with them over 6-8 hours of real time then support the DM in that endeavor. That’s your job, to support the DM.

This sort of thing is maddening. There’s a captain of the guard listed by name but with no other details. (What, there’s a captain of the guard?! Does he like the boss of the roadhouse, who’s secretly a cultist? I mean I’m certain that the players are VERY unlikely to appeal to him if they find out the boss is cultist … they’d never do that …right? Appeal to the authority who has a lot of guards at his disposal? Waaaaiiiittttt….) There’s a treasure room. Getting in to it is going to be one of the major goals of this episode. Elsewhere it EXPLICITLY says this is where ALL of the valuables in camp are stored. The rooms makes no mention of that at all. NONE. That’s not on the railroad. That’s not what the designer wants you to do. If you pay REALLY close attention you get the impression these are rough and tumble laborers in the roadhouse. Mention is made several times of how certain party actions could result in the loss of face, etc, with the people there. They “humiliate” or “treat badly” the people they think are cowards, weak, thieves, etc. But that’s all we get. No “they bump in to you at dinner, spilling your food. The cook says he’s out if you want more.” or “Someone has pissed in your bunk” or anything like that Just a few sentences like that would have made all the difference between a generic adventure and something memorable that the players will remember. Give me, the DM, a cue. One sentence: piss in your bunk. I can work with that. I can work it in. I’m inspired and my mind can fill in the rest. The EXTREME lack of specificity leaves things too open-ended, and thus too generic.

There is a good part here, better than your average bear. There is a one column bullet point list of actions/reactions. IF the party does this then this thing could happen or they can learn this. There are six or seven of these and they do wonders for this episode. It’s terse, imaginative, the reactions are more evocative than most … it’s the GUIDANCE for the DM that I’m talking about in most of the rest of this review that is generally missing. It’s perfect and fits well. Further, the bullet-list format makes it each to recognize and track down. This is in contrast to the rest of the episodes where this sort of information is generally buried in some kind of wall of test paragraph format. It conveys a lot of information, quickly, and it’s easy to recognize. The form+Function here is a perfect fit.

Episode 6 – Something good. Something bad. A bit of both.

The tunnel under the roadhouse leads to an exit near the swap where you find an obvious track taking you deeper in and leading to an old keep. From here you will somehow find out that the treasures are being taken through a portal in the basement to somewhere else. The keep, with it’s 40 or so rooms over four levels, lacks some focus. It looks like you’re supposed to sneak in and start an uprising amongst the three factions present. Given the IMPRESSIVE number of enemies present (hundreds) that’s really the only option. But they are trying to not write a railroad, so they have to present the entire scenario a little more open-ended. IF the party does this and IF the party does that.

For example, after tracking the cargo through the swamp some lizard men show up. They attack immediately. The text gives every impression, up to that point, that this is just another monster hack. And then the text goes on for at least a column about how one of the lizard men is totally looking to rebel and wants to join the party, etc. And this lizard man is referenced time and time again in the episode, assuming you’ve allied with him. It is COMPLETELY written from this point of view. And yet … they attack immediately, don’t converse with the party, etc. The designers have done something excellent here in creating factions within the dragon cult. The lizard men, the bullwugs, and the cultists. But then they’ve written the thing in exactly one way: you ally with the lizard men. Instead of doing that you could make the entire thing a little more dimensional and make the bullywugs less one-dimensional as well. The lizard man thing is REALLY good. The bullywugs are also REALLY good … even if they are not an ally. Picture lizard men going on a murderous rampage killing bullybugs at every turn while the party explores the keep, grinning at the party while they commit their slaughter. It’s a WONDERFUL opportunity. It’s just combined with some nonsense words at the beginning about how they attack on sight and how the bullywugs can never be allies.

One way or another, allied or not, the party is likely to end up in the keep. Maybe they pretend to be cultists. That’s HEAVILY implied as well, even though the party will face multiple combats outside the keep, pretending or not, so they are unlikely to believe they can pretend once INSIDE The keep. IE: patrols and guards, mostly outside, are suspicious, but inside the folks mostly assume you’re a cultists and let you go about your business. It’s just not clear that any party is going to make that leap after they’ve been attacked multiple times outside.

The inside of the keep is fairly boring. The descriptions and locations don’t lead to a lot of interesting things. There is an exception or two, like a tentacle monster in the garbage that can drag you in to his pit, or a section of rolling mist, but otherwise it’s a pretty uninteresting place. “Action shots” of fleeing bullywugs and the lizard man massacre will liven it up quite a bit.

I would like to point out that the episode does several things right, more so than in many of the others. First, there IS faction play possibilities. Faction play should be mainstay of any adventure with multiple parties. The creatures have their own goals and motivations and the party should be able to take advantage of that. The fact that they’ve included it, even in the goofy “attack but friendly” way, is a real bonus and shows a good understanding of the how’s and why’s of multiple-humanoid play in a dungeon/environment. D&D is a social game and, just as in the villages and the caravans, you must provide those opportunities for strong play to emerge.

In contrast to the many other episodes, the wandering monster encounters here are on the right track! There are 12 or so and they each have their own little paragraph expanding the one-liners in the table. A spiders web in misty fog. Frogs with sticky tongues. “the weed that walks.” and so on. They could use a little more to reach greatness. In particular, they need to be focused on PLAY. Giant frogs shooting out sticky tongues … in a cattail filled reeds? A spiders web in misty fog … along some downed trees? Or a section of destroyed cypress forest, logs floating … mixed with crocs? The Weed That Walks (which has a nice little bit if you have your lizard man ally) encountered in a bramble patch? In other words, they are all on the right track but need just a little more to ground them in your imagination … which then allows your mind to run wild.

There’s also a nice little bullet-list section on how the keep occupants react when the party invades/is finally discovered. This is a great section that allows the DM to better free-form run the adventure. It’s from this section that the the best idea comes from: “(the lizard men) then hunt the bullywugs on the castle & grounds and murder them mercilessly.” This is one of the few sections that grounds the action with strong language. It’s notable that it’s from this strong user of language that I hooked on to a great way to run this section. More of that strong language, creating evocative scenes through terse language, is what most of this product badly needs. The imagery of an ogyugh at the bottom of a destroyed tower in a pit of refuse, using its tentacles to pull people in who are trying to get past the garbage, is a strong one also, and it also is one of the few images that has stayed with me and was cemented strongly in my mind. More specifics, without going overboard in to paragraph mode. Another nice bit: you’re actually allowed to kill the NPC’s this time around. No “his brother shows up” or “his minions drag him” away nonsense.

There’s another glaring omission here: how the keep reacts. There are some VERY general guidelines in the bullet points “Bob tries to escape if it looks like the party is winning” and things like that. There are also at least two rooms that mention who else responds when they hear sounds of combat. In episode three this was a MAJOR factor. It was noted how far you could hear in the caves and how the sound traveled in the main parts of the cave. But in the keep there’s none of this. It’s very important, in any intelligent monster lair, to pay attention to how the creatures react. This is a curtesy to the DM running the adventure. The bullet list “goals” in this episode is a good start from a very general standpoint but it needs more. This could be as simple as ensuring the map is printed with the summary of who’s in the room. Is the next room full of creatures? DO you want to dig through the (conversational) text to figure out who is in that room? Maps in RPG products are not utilized very well for conveying almost anything beyond the dimensions and this sort of “intelligent monster lair” is a perfect place to note zones of hearing, or at least “which rooms have monsters in them.” This is part of what I mean when I say the adventure must support the DM in running it. It’s a play aid. So … aid the DM in play. If lizard man massacre breaks out then you can use it one way. If you are sneaking about you can use it another. If all hell breaks loose with the entire castle arrayed against you … well .. .the DM is going to need to know, EASILY, who is coming at you when.

Finally, I think there’s a leap of logic here that’s hard to make. The party sneaks in to the keep. They have to do this, and find the papers in the commanders office, in order to go to the next episode. It’s not clear to me that they WILL sneak in to the keep. I guess that’s an AP thing. The ties to the hook and plot (“find out where the treasure is going”) don’t exactly lead me to believe the party would “invade” an evil fortress to find the next part of the plot. Those could/should/need to be strengthened in the initial plot hook set up in (episode 4?) as well as in this one. Something is missing here that is needed for the party to figure out what to do. Sure, as the DM you could tell them what to do. You could also play Connect 4 instead. Or a better adventure.

Episode 7 – A Waste of Time

In this episode you are teleported from the castle in episode 6 to a hunting lodge. In that lodge you find a sub-luitenant from the the cult who, and I quote “the classic scene where the villain explains herself if the players are willing to pause.” Remember, they didn’t say it was GOOD scene, just a classic one …

The hunting lodge has 22 rooms. If you just walk in and poke around a bit you’ll face a couple of combat and then meet the lieutenant. She’ll give you directions to a cloud castle full of the cults treasure and ask that you go mess it up. It would help her out a lot by forcing one of her fellow lieutenants to fail and loose face.

The encounters here in the lodge are a bit more evocative than many of the others in the adventure. Trophy rooms, human servants with some personality that you can learn things from, prisoners to free and a weird thing tor to to deal with. But it’s mostly empty and devoid of content. Just go upstairs and listen to the monologue and hit episode 8. I will note, in another bit of excellent railroading, there is no real option for the party if they kill the lieutenant. Two sentences at the end say “if they kill her there’s no one to tell the party about the cloud castle. Consider leaving a paper trail in her personal effects.” Uh … if you can say that as, literally, the last two sentences in the episode then why can’t you put two sentences about the cloud castle paper trail in her quarters instead?

It does have something in one of the rooms that I’d like to point out. There tends in this obsession in D&D with explaining how things work. This seems common to most versions past 0E and I find it completely bizarre. In the lodge there’s a suit of black armor that is actually a helmed horror, disguised by an illusion that has an Evard’s black tentacles spell stored in it to use. I don’t understand this chaining of stuff in order to explain what’s going on. It’s magic. How about just a suit of armor that transforms and attacks with stats X and can do some power once a day? Why the need to EXPLAIN it by chaining effects together? It’s bizarre and I’ve never understood it. It turns something magical and wondrous in to something ponderous and grey and dull. I touch roses.

There’s really not a lot else to say about this section. The NPC’s could use a little more description, although they tend to get far more than usual. Again, if you’re going to interact with someone then give them a name and a quirk and maybe a motivation if you want some faction play.

The rooms are also described in the typical “expansive nothing” style that we’ve come to expect. The bathroom describes what a bathroom has in it. The pantry describes what a pantry has in it. The armory describes what it has in it. How about just saying “Armory” and “the usual weapons” or “Pantry” and then devoting your word budget to how the pantry supports play in the lodge? Note what’s cool and interesting and unique and what would support creative and interesting play, instead of telling me that the BEDROOM has BED with BLANKETS and a DRESSER with LINENS in it. Ug. I can make that up. Tell me about the black void of nothingness that pukes paisley flower, or something like that. Or just leave it blank with the word “Pantry” on the map.

This is really a nothing kind of episode, existing just to have the villain give the monologue and give the players the castle plans. In other words, filler. After all, episode 6 could have directly led to the cloud castle, eh?

Episode 8 – My only friend, the end.

You storm the cloud castle that is hauling Teh L00ts. Inside you find cultists and a second faction, the giants, that you can perhaps negotiate with. At the end, one way or another, you arrive at a site in the frozen north so you can play the next 8 episodes. Either the cloud giant in charge drives it there or it goes uncontrollable and eventually crashes there. Oh, and you didn’t escape beforehand. One the wyverns you rode there. Or through a spell. Or any of a bunch of other ways. Because then you’ll not be in the north for the next set of episodes. Errr, sorry, I forgot I’m not complaining about the episodic nature.

The beginning is a mess. You get to a village, completely controlled by the cult, and the sky castle is parked there on the ground. The cultists don’t attack you. But they do when the adventure says they do. It makes no sense. There’s this pretext about staying at the inn even though you’re not allowed and the adventure doesn’t want you to. I guess you are supposed to sneak in to the castle while it’s on the ground, but then if you don’t you could also grab some wyverns from the stables and fly to the castle. But to do that you need to make some skill checks. So, just to be clear: you need to roll high in order to go on the adventure. The adventure is clear: the castle flies off and the wyverns are trouble if you roll low. DC 15 animal handling, twice, or you don’t get to go on the adventure. This is bad bad bad design. The whole village scene and getting in to the castle is a confusing and muddled mess. It’s not clear or laid out well at all. There’s too much emphasis on a traditional keyed encounter format instead on personalities, timelines, and the objective of this part: getting in to the castle.

The castle works better as a keyed encounter, but could again use a kind of order of battle for reactions. In some of the encounters it’s explicitly mentioned who shows up and what the reactions are. A few bullet points on how the castle mobilizes to meet intruders would go a long way. There’s also a a very clearly meant to be some faction play between the cultists and the giants in the castle. Given the importance of this it seems unusual that so little attention is paid to “how to meet the cloud giant lord.” He’s got minions here, he’s got other giant allies here … but there’s not much at all on how this plays out from his standpoint … until you get to this throne room. THEN there’s words on how he talks rhetorically to his moron guards about what to do with the party. The other faction consists of a dragon, a vampire, a couple of red wizards, and the cult leadership. They are written almost totally independent of each other. Much in the same way that the cloud giant only gets significant write up in his room, the others generally only get written up in their areas. That’s too bad. This place doesn’t feel alive at all. This should be the one place where you WANT a big climax, where you could justify putting in some cool shit and forcing a few things. The players want the payoff for sitting through 8 episodes of this! I will note, however, that the threat level of the creatures in this section seems to have ratcheted up significantly.

But that is not to be. It’s more of the same. Generic descriptions devoid of life and interesting content. The entire place is powered by the dead wife of the cloud giant lord and even THAT is handled in the most boring way possible. The entire place is quite disappointing and continues the trend of Cloud Castles not living up to their hype. I don’t think I’ve seen a good one yet, but, then again, I actually have standards.

There’s also, finally! Some treasure here! It all belongs to the cloud giant. He’s got something like $20k in gold in one room. The stupid hoard you’ve been chasing? It’s abstracted to 500k in cp, 100k in sp and 5k in gp, along with 21 blue sapphires. Talk about anti-climactic …

The creatures here are pretty uninteresting. As a beginning adventure using the data published for free, I guess that’s to be expected. It’s all standard monsters presented in a pretty boring fashion. I’m particularly disappointed the imagery used to portray them. I want descriptions and imagery used that make them interesting and exciting in your mind, so you can portray that to the players. I don’t want to tell the players “its a ghoul”, I want to DESCRIBE it to the players. SHOW, don’t TELL. I want the adventure as a play aid, to assist in that, to help bring it to life for me so I can do that for the players.

ARGGGG!!!!! THIS STINKS! SUCKS! SUCKS! SUCKS! SUCKS! SUCKS! The vast majority of the treasure in this adventure is some of the most boring and uninspiring I have ever seen. Too much of the treasure is abstracted out, although not to the horrendous degree of “a treasure parcel worth 250gp.” The name is HOARD of the Dragon Queen, but nothing is done to bring to life those treasure. Recall that for most of the adventure you are chasing the treasure, with many opportunities to view it, steal it, etc. In all of those cases the hoard is merely abstracted. It’s like you are playing a computer RPG and find an object titled “massive treasure hoard” … But you can’t actually spend it or do anything with it. In fact too many cases, the overwhelming majority, the treasure is glossed over, or non-existant.

The magic items may, possibly, be worse. There are only a handful of interesting ones presented, and I would argue that even those are not actually interesting. There is a magic great sword, unique, that is wonderful. It’s sentient & NE and therefore deserves to have a personality and goals, which are completely absent, but the tradition of unique swords is at least alive. Other than that, the only real magic I recall are a couple of very generic +1 sword type items and several other, book items, in the same vein. And there’s really not much of that for a party at 8th level. It’s all boring and uninspiring, generic and not conducive to the type of D&D I want to play. I want magic that is ALIVE and FANTASTIC, that doesn’t just mirror effect mechanically but that seems WONDROUS.Ready for this? One of the largest concentrations is: +1 longsword, +1 longbow, +1 leather armor, bracers of defense. You feel like you live in a world of wonder and imagination yet? No? In some adventure I reviewed I recall a bag of holding that was actually a toad who’s mouth opened WIIIIIIIIDDDDDEEEEE, and you needed a little magic fly to activate. That’s a magic item. The stuff in this adventure ain’t nothing but mechanistic garbage.

In spite of the general lameness, there is a decent hook or two for the players, just as there was with the rogue in Phandelver. Most of the suggested player hooks are the usual moralistic and tripe nonsense, but one or two are great. “You were once a gold dragon serving Bahamut.” Cool! Or, you used to be a cult member with your family until another cult faction wiped you out. Now your out for vengeance, with only three names on lips to go on. Or, grandchild of a renowned dragons layer, you’ve been hounded by ruffians beating you. You flee to the starting village looking for a little rest … Those are great. That’s the kind of non-generic and specific thing I’m looking for in an adventure. Any player can work with that and create some magical RPG moments.

A good DM could …
Inevitably someone will comment “Yes, but a good DM could …” or perhaps “but it’s the job of the DM to add …” Both statements are correct, and meaningless in this context. You’re right, a good DM could, and will, fix it. But we’re also looking for the designer to INSPIRE the DM to greatness. To give them little bits of flavor seeds that can explode in their minds to full fledged sensory scenes to be communicated to the players ad-hoc and ad-lib. Likewise some folks seem to confuse my statements around flavor and INSPIRATION to mean “a lot of text.” Nothing could be further from the truth. Those long & lengthy descriptions rob the DM of their imagination. We’re looking for JUST. A LITTLE. MORE than bare bones. We need to know what’s SPECIAL about this person, place, thing. The thing that makes the NPC or encounter come alive. The imagination is a powerful thing. You just need to suggest something and it will do the rest.


Hrumph. I edited my liberal use of profanity out of this for eventual posting on ENworld. I feel the review has now far less impact. That was a mistake. :(

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CE3 – The Folk of Osmon

By Daniel J. Bishop
Purple Duck Games
Multiple Levels

A mighty civilization once thrived where now only lonely Osmon Mire stretches across the land. The crumbled and vine-laden ruins of ages-old buildings arise here and there from the reedy mud and water. The remains of statues and derelict temples adorn low hills rising from the muck. Fell beasts roam the mire at night and man-like shapes haunt the swamp. After dark none willingly passes the low hill, with its blood-encrusted altar stone, where the Folk of Osmon are said to sacrifice their victims.

This could be a short, but jam-packed, encounter with blob-people in a swamp. This product describes a small 5 encounter area in a swamp, along with several new, weird, creatures that dwell there. It then follows this up with four adventure scenario ideas that the DM can use to work the area in to their game. Alone, nothing is too impressive. Smashing everything up together though would yield an exciting evening!

Hmmm, I’m not sure where to start with this one. The map is pretty simplistic, with just a generalized “swamp” setting with a small road running through it. Off to one side is a hill with some statues and rubble on it, and a small stone “alter” in the middle. There’s another hill nearby with a different statue on it. That’s it. Not exactly awe-inspiring in its capacity to support interesting play. But ….

Let’s combine it with the creatures that live in the swamp. First and foremost are some swamp-people. They are essentially humanoid blobs without sex or personality; the titular Folk of Osmon. They enjoy long walks in the moonlight … looking for victims, chucking gooey protoplasm at people … to sacrifice them, and reproducing through budding. Accompanying them in the swamp are some weird crocodiles with tentacle eyes, slithering vine monsters, will-o-the-wisp type creatures who are great at luring dwarves to their doom, and giant psionic salamanders who drain your INT. Oh, and the god of the protoplasm people: a giant ameboid. These are all GREAT creatures. Let’s take the Faerie Lights, for example. They feed off of precious metals and, in a play toward the screw-job monsters of old, they can smell like gold! That’s a great play off of the common DCC statement that dwarves can smell gold. Oh yeah Mr Dwarf? Well maybe it’s NOT gold you smell … The monsters here are very good, as DCC monsters almost always are.

The encounter locations are nothing special and are one of the way the product could have been improved. Given the limited number and the small scale, quite a bit more could have been with the locations. One of the hallmarks of DCC are the Mighty Deeds … but Mighty Deeds need an active environment to play off of. And an active environment this ain’t. Crumbling walls, fetid pits, rotten logs, quicksand, all could have made for an active environment … but they just are not present. Instead there’s a hill with a statue on it. Or a pool of water. Uh … not very exciting in a combat situation. Combine this with some boring mundane treasure and no magical treasure and you’ve got a pretty serious GONZO gap. There could have been some opportunities to get some biological items off of the god, or maybe the blob people. “I wear a blob-person suit to get close to the blob god to steal a proto face-egg that does BLAH.” But alas, that’s not presented.

The adventure ideas presented are nothing too special. Oh no! You’re captured by the blobs and going to be sacrificed. Or .. Oh No! Bandits attack … and then blob people attack! Or .. You have a map to buried treasure. The most interesting is the one in which one of the blobs turns out to have a personality and sex … and falls in love with a PC. But … what if you choose hidden option ‘ E’ … if you take ALL of the encounters and mash them all up … then the party is looking for buried treasure, attacked by bandits while digging it up, both groups surrounded by blob people and attacked maybe forcing them to work together and/or being dragged off to be sacrificed, where the unique blob-person falls in love! Now THAT’S an evening of entertainment! The bandits are given one leader with some decent personality but, given that the party is meant to work with them when attacked, could have used a couple of more with a decent or two each in order to bond with them better. There are a lot of really good ideas for using the unique blob-person on a ongoing basis … and lot fewer interesting complications presented for everyone/thing else.

This is a much better effort than CE2 and I’d gladly pick this one over that. If the treasure situation had been beefed up a bit, as well as the NPC’s and maybe the environment, then this would easily make my best of list.

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CE2 – The Black Goat

By Daniel J. Bishop
Purple Duck Games
All Levels

Not all mountain passes are lonely.
Come meet the Mahmat Troth and the One they adore. Only in the high pass will you discover what the Black Goat truly is.

Go read that publishers blurb again. Pretty cool eh? Well … not really … Or maybe it is. I don’t know. Because this isn’t an adventure, it’s a place. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’ve often thought that it would be cool to do a series of products around medieval ‘businesses’, describing what they do and how they do it, with floorpans and some personalities. A rope walk, for instance. Then you could use that in your game. That’s the intent behind this product … it’s more place than adventure … which means, no matter how cool, I probably would not have purchased/reviewed that if I known it. Which, in a way, is the entire point of me publishing my thinking n these reviews: ensuring everyone else doesn’t fall in to the mistakes I have. It doesn’t matter how good the chair if in fact I thought I was buying a loaf of bread. In the end, this is a missed opportunity.

This describes a mountain pass that houses an oracle: The Black Goat. It has maybe eight encounter areas and three or four factions briefly described. There’s the Black Goat proper; the oracle that lives in the cave. There’s the tribe of creatures that live outside of the cave and serve as her … minions? There’s a handmaid in the cave as well, pulled from the tribe, who may have her own thing going on …. But only if I stretch things REALLY far. Finally there’s a tribe of different creatures that live down in the valley under the mountain pass. The two tribes mutually hate each other (Frankie!) and ownership of the pass, and thus the right to be minions of the Black Goat, sometimes changes hands. And, I’m sorry to say, that’s about it. Well, there’s a patron table for the Black Goat.

Oh, there’s other content here. A description of the tribal camp in the pass, a rumor table, a description of the Goat and her quarters, of the treasure cave, and so on. But it’s not really anything interesting, or of value. What’s present is a kind of general fact-based overview/summary, instead of the individual detail that would make for hooks. Do you want to know that there are 20+1d12 adult males and 4d14+20 adult females and 6d12 children and blah blah blah champions? Or do you want to know that Bob has a crush on Sally who’s father is the one that deals with traders and who secretly had a love affair child with a member of the opposing tribe? Both tribes are given a nice general overview which makes them REALLY interesting. The mountain pass tribe then gets a bit more, essentially detailing how many there are and how they eat gruel 24×7. But anything extra which would bring the situation to life is missing. One could argue that this is the job of the DM. One could also rebut that by saying: then why the hell did I buy this product in the first place if it’s my job to add everything? I would never argue that the DM doesn’t have obligation to bring the detail to life, but I WILL say that it’s the job of the designer, through the product, to inspire the DM to bring it to life. I’m not talking 24 pages on the ecology & diet of the tribes. I’m talking an extra sentence or two or paragraph to bring the thing to life … in exactly the same way the detail about the tribes does. The general overview of the tribes is short and is GREAT. But then it goes nowhere else … except in providing some mundane detail.

The Goat, her handmaid, and the four or so caves suffer from the same problem. Generic detail. Her quarters are ‘lavish.’ The treasure chamber has ‘bags of rice and dried meats and more lavish fare.’ Nope, that don’t cut it. What kind of rice? What kind of more lavish fare? SHOW don’t tell. Don’t say it’s lavish. Don’t say it’s opulant. SHOW why it’s that way. Describe it. That brings it to life in the DM’s mind and let’s them hook off of it. The rumors are more of the same. Generic and uninspiring. ‘The people beyond the pass are passionate traders.’ Well, ok, I guess I could do something with that. But a beggar noting how we was traded out of his lifes possession, in a fair trade, with the people beyond the pass, gives many more opportunities.

This product has a lot of potential. The core idea is a good one. The tribes are GREAT … from 10,000 feet. But it fails to deliver beyond the elevator pitch.

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CE1 – The Falcate Idol


By Daniel J Bishop
Purple Duck Games
Level 2

The Cult of the Harrower is ancient, and each of the eight eyes of its spider-idol is rumored to be a moonstone gem the size of a pigeon’s egg. Moreover, somewhere within the cult’s sanctuary, a pool flows from the Egg of Creation. Will your Thief seek to make a legendary score? Will your Wizard pursue the shards of the Egg? Will your Cleric join the cult? Or will your Warrior fight his way through the web-covered passages to rescue them if they fail? Any or all of these scenarios are possible!

This is an adventure through a ten room temple. It uses the same simple map that The Twice Robbed Tomb, by the same publisher but a different author, uses. That’s a clever and interesting idea. Or, it would be if the map were any good. I’m not sure if people are cueing off of the official DCC adventures or not, but the VAST majority of DCC product I’ve seen has had very simple maps. Linear, or nearly so. I have overlooked this in the past, maybe because I use DCC so much as one-shots. A complex map can lead to an interesting exploration element, where the PLAYERS feel lost and confused, but not in a bad way. In a manner that enhances a kind of Fear of the Unknown. Where am I? What’s around the corner? Is something going to come down that hallway behind me? The characters turn the unknown in to the known through their explorations … but those side corridors behind you always provide some risk, some questions, some GREAT BLACK VOID that might be COMING TO GET YOU!!!! But these maps don’t allow for that. Maybe that’s ok, since DCC has a different vibe going on. But I’m leaning toward it not bing so …

Ok, temple. This is supposed to have a kind of Lieber/Conan “Spider God” thing going on. It doesn’t do a spectacular job of it but it does deliver that flavor much more successfully than, say “The Spider-Gods Bride” does. There’s one priest and a couple of monster guardians hanging out … but then again there’s only ten rooms. The theming is of a kind of horrible spider/crab hybrid, with the initial chambers being devoted to cobwebbed bodies in alcoves and vessels to sacrifice blood to. The entire complex TRIES really hard to bring the vibe, but I don’t think in the end it works out well. There is a kind of … mundane thing going on in spite of what the adventure is trying to do. A room full of fresco’s, hiding vestments and a concealed door. Well, ok … but tat’s not really interactive, is it? Or FANTASTIC. The same for the entry room with the alcoves full of webbed bodies. Ok. But where’s the interactivity? Where’s the SHOW in show, don’t tell? The descriptions lack the evocative nature to transmit a picture by themselves and the lack of interactivity means that a great many of the rooms feel flat.

The rooms also lack something else, something CRITICAL to a DCC adventure: stuff for the players to riff off of. The environments are not interesting enough to support very good Mighty Deeds. The locales need more stuff in them, especially if you anticipate combat. This could be done very matter of factly … “and then I’ll put in a big kettle so someone could use it!” or, better, much more naturally … “a kitchen should have a bit wooden prep table, covered with knives, and boiling kettle over a big hearth in the middle of the room and maybe some giant hog legs hanging from the ceiling …” That’s some stuff that the party, and creatures, can use to spice things up.

In contrast, the monsters and treasure are strong, as they are in most DCC adventures. New monsters bring the horror of the unexpected and good treasure, magic or otherwise, bring on the SPECIAL nature of the reward. You’re not getting crap. Heroes don’t get crap. Heroes get some of the parts of the Egg of Creation. Hell Yeah! Some of the monster descrptions are REALLy excellent, such as the transformed former thieves, who’s faces/heads are nearly transparent and filled with webbing. “Their faces look transparent, like glass which has been filled with a hollow radiance.” …”If examined closely motes of darkness can be seen moving within them. Their bodies are actually filled with a tight network of shining spider webs, and the black motes are spider-like moon reaper young.” That is some REALLY good writing. It communicates well, to the DM, what is going on with these creatures, thereby assisting the DM to, on the fly, run an encounter that is going be very impactful to the players. I want ALL of the writing to be like that. Terse, and communicating with pin-point accuracy an evocative scene that instantly springs to life in my mind … which I can then use to turn the room.

I want to call out a couple of other things that the designer has done that are quite nice. First, he’s done a great job with a curse that comes right out of appendix N. Steal the main jewel from the idol? You’re cursed and the temple statue, now animated, hunts you down until all of it’s jewels are found and replaced. That’s a GREAT curse AND a great was to continue the adventure and give continuity to things after the adventure is over. He gives the statue “HD4+200” hp, which is also an interesting idea, that, in retrospect, I think I’ve seen a couple of times before. That’s a nice way of putting in a lower level opponent but still giving it the staying power that “more HD” that more HD are usually used to represent. Finally, the designer recognizes the power of Deity Disapproval in DCC. This being a temple, there are several opportunities to sneak about by making sacrifices to the spider god, wearing the vestments to sneak about, etc. These are things your own Deity won’t approve of, and thus your disapproval rating goes up. Nice way to handle things.

If you’ve got any amount of talent in you you could probably make this adventure come alive. It does a lot of thing … if not well then much better than the vast majority of adventures. I have very high standards and so what a pass for me may be a Must Buy for you. I wouldn’t hesitate mentioning this is someone was looking for a new DCC adventure … it just wouldn’t be at the top of my list.


EDIT: Corrected my mistake regarding the authorship of Twice-Robbed Tomb.

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Dungeon Magazine #39

There was a Science Fiction in … Analog, I think, that recounted a bunch of human authors on an alien planet that treasured literature. The aliens hated the human literature. Their own recounted every detail possible of every thing possible in the story, giving the reader the complete context of EVERYTHING that occurred. Reading Dungeon for 39 issues, I can relate …

Below Vulture Point
Jeff Fairborn
Levels 0-1

This is an assault/recovery mission in some caves high up on cliff where some vultures live. Five or six pages of introduction give way to about four pages of adventure. The kobolds in the caves are commanded by an Urg who has trained some giant vultures to compliment the standard vultures that live on the cliff. The content here is quite dry and not very evocative, with lame treasure to supplement a lame and boring backstory. On the plus side it seems like this is quite a hard adventure for 0 or even 1st level adventurers. The lair is laid out well and the vultures and *limited) third dimension used to some decent effect. The caverns, in particular, on the cliffside are handled in a nice way, giving enough extra detail to transform the location from “generic caves” to “that vulture place on the cliff! Remember!” The environment reminds me a bit of one of my favorites: the troll lair in 100 Bushels of Rye. The environment here is well worth stealing, and if the treasure was better and the descriptions more evocative then you’d have a fine adventure.

Steve Kurtz
Levels 5-9

Sadly, this is just a collection of nine encounters for your Spelljamming. There are some decent things mixed n with the boring/normal encounters. A dead kid in a wooden chest? Cool! There’s also an interesting NPC you can run across, a pirate, and a group of Ogre whalers, all of which are at least a little interesting. The others are less so, to varying degrees. The undead is nice little idea but not evocative enough to be a decent encounter as written. The Ogre whalers, in particular, are a lost opportunity. They’ve got a great little idea going on but their personalities are ignored in favor of treating it like a combat encounter. The pirate encounter is similar. Both would benefit from being written more neutrally with the NPC’s have more goals. Spell jammer is one of the greatest D&D settings EVAR, and there’s a lot of ideas here to steal from and expand in to something decent, and little to run as is.

Last of the Iron Horse
Jasper Jones
Levels 2-4

This is a GREAT encounter with a group of dwarves bandits and their lair. It’s got a great vibe going on and is one of the few things I’ve seen in Dungeon that you could run as written. The backstory is kept at a minimum at only one page. The idea of a group of evil little shit mercenary dwarves is a pretty sweet one, and appeals to my “old fairy tale dwarf” nature. Their lair is a short little ten room place, mostly linear, but with more adventure in it than Dungeon adventures that run 35 pages long. There are at least three groups of people in the small place that you can negotiate with, including crabmen and a vapor rat! For being such a small place there’s a lot going on. The map has a variety of features, from sinkholes to water clogged tunnels to shelves and columns. It feels more like a “Real” cave than most adventures do. The adventure relies on the Tome of Magic quite a bit, which lends the magic items a more non-standard feel. This is supplemented by an intelligent weapon and mundane treasure that it more than just a throw-away description of generic “gems worth 200 gp.” Black bears, giant crabs, lizards, chimneys … the list of interesting things go on and on without BORING you to death with it’s verbosity. You could mistake this for one of the GOOD adventures from Fight On! Magazine. Great job Jasper! … too bad this appears to be the only thing you’ve ever written …

The Fountain of Health
Ann Dupois
Level 1

This is a simplistic 22-room ruined temple. And by “ruined” I mean that on the map the rooms have fuzzy walls that represent “rubble” near them. Sigh This continues the long tradition of BASIC D&D adventures treating the players, and DM, like idiots. It’s full of very basic advice and seems written for Jethro’s 6th grade education. And a decent amount of the advice stinks: “The heroes could attempt to climb the walls. Discourage this since it would allow the PC’s to avoid most of the encounters.” What boring and unimaginative advice. How about instead you reward players who think creatively instead of blindly imposing your railroad will? In spite of this I’m conflicted. Or maybe it’s my three Old Style lunch. There’s a certain classic feeling here, in places, that I can get behind. The backstory has villagers trying to reach the healing water in a pool that the ruined temple contains. A place of legend that only the most desperate will seek out for its healing powers because of the dangers … that’s a nice thing going on and there are bodies of villagers throughout the temple who have tried their luck. That adds a certain ‘living’ effect to the temple that I can really get in to. Combined with Stone Golems with 8hp, magic stone axes, spider web bundles, and a boss battle that may be un-winnable, it gets my seal of approval. But for Vcna’s sake, let the characters climb the fucking walls!

The Fire Giants’ Daughter
Wolfgang Baur
Levels 8-10

Oh Wolfgang, really? Someone needs to fail a save vs magic in order to go not he adventure? For serious? This is a mythic Viking adventure, or perhaps “encounter” would be a better word, and a decent one. Baur does a good job with the introduction, giving us a hook of mythic proportions, perfect for a group of viking bravos to undertake … a ghostly woman in a hot springs! And then the descriptions of the ethereal tale is “there’s a fire giants daughter in a skirt and having a sword.” Not quite the evocative setting one was led to suspect from the backstory bardic story. Anyway, if someone fails their save then the adventure may continue. You need to go visit some fire giants to try and free the fire giant daughter from her asshole father domination. What we get is a little mini-tale of a viking homestead, but with fire giants. The giant, his dominated wife, asshole sones, and beaten troll servant and dogs, are all in a cave, along with the daughter. What ensues is a little micro-casm of viking society, where the giants must be bested in order to free the daughter from her fathers clutches. It’s a decent NPC–monster encounter, although the giants are a little one-sided in their personalities. But at least they HAVE personalities and you don’t have to just slay them. The contest proposed are a bit generic. That’s sad. You’re going to need to embellish a lot to turn this from a rough outline in to a stunning adventure, but the core of the ideas are all there.

The Ulrich Monastery
Peter Aberg
Levels 5-6

This is a one-on-one adventure with a cleric PC. You go to a monastery in the mountains only to find its occupants slaughtered and a blizzard settling in. Then the next morning a yeti attacks! At least it’s only four pages long. Enjoy the 11-room monastery and prepare for the yeti’s return. Uh, and be bored. Because there’s nothing to do here except get attacked by the Yeti after 12-ish hours of game time.

Matthew Schutt
Levels 4-7

Oh boy. This is an investigation adventure in a magical ren-faire theater. Magical chandeliers. Illusionists creating theater effects. Potions to help the actors. It’s enough to make you puke gorbels. It’s a social adventure and there are plenty of NPC’s to interact with, with various personalities and motivations that will recognizable. The party shows up, looks around, interacts with some NPC’s, and then interacts with the main NPC to get a kind of a mission. Then some NPC’s attack, the play goes off, and the major attack comes. The evil NPC’s are GREAT, but not used well. They just end up attacking the party without interaction so their various quirks and qualities and goals and motivations are almost completely lost. Essentially, the party is just watching events unfold around them with little chance to do anything about it, except stab someone when they show up and attack. That’s pretty poor design. The evil NPC’s need more of an ability to interact with the party to get their full effect, and the events presented could be laid out better, with a nice timeline and more petty incidents going on. Yeah, I hate this kind of magical ren-faire shit, but if you’re going to do it at least do it well.

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