The Well – No ArtPunk #2

Posted on December 25, 2021 by Bryce Lynch

Number two in an eight-part series. 

This is a compilation of the best eight entries from Prince’s recent No ArtPunk contest. Basically, you had to use published monsters, magic items, etc, with one unique allowance allowed in each category. Settle in, I’m reviewing one adventure at a time. Also, I admit that an orgy of women, wine, bread, circuses, and self-absorbed loathing kept me from reading Prince’s commentary earlier. So I’m going in to this blind. Let’s see what “winning” entries look like, shall we?

The Well
Jon Bertani
OSE
Levels 1-4

This fifteen page adventure uses about eight pages to describe a temple with about 25 rooms and a few surrounding wilderness areas. A primitive frontier setting has a very Harn-like feel … but is too wordy and … cumbersome in its language for me to love this special-ops assault.

A dude walks out of the forest and gives you a tallystick. “Show up in the village of Pigsty by noon on the 25th and you may get an inheritance.” You show up to find a village out of 13th Warrior, all wooden palisades on the frontier-like. Indeed, even the village chieftain is a too-old warrior. But, shown the tallystick, he greets you with respect! There’s something fucking different! Finally, we don’t have the fucker in the throat 137 times! You’ve inherited a farmstead! He warns you the frontier is dangerous and sends a man to show you. Arriving, you find the gates hacked down, brigands looting, and the big mastiff dog shot and whimpering! Bastardi! Shall you track them back to their lair to recover your livestock? A small overland adventure ensues, with you finding an old temple facade in the side of a mountain. You then transition to a spec-ops sneak-in, probably, and then the usual  hack-fest when the gig is up. 

This is a hard adventure to review. It’s not my thing. But it is my thing. It’s a very frontier-like adventure. There’s a vibe of wooded palisades surrounding towns, tribesmen in the hills, danger over the next hill, lumberjacks and so on. 

Or, at least, that’s what the vibe is SUPPOSED to be. It comes off more than a little bland. The individual elements are there, a little bland, but they don’t seem to work together well. There’s a whorehouse in town. The madam is a fat rotund woman who treats her girls well. Ok. So … pretty bland description. The next thing described in town are the lumberjack mill. Ah! Now I get it! The lumberjacks are over the whores at the whorehouse! You don’t get this from the adventure. There’s no inference, explicit or explicit. The whorehouse isn’t rowdy. Or full of lumberjacks, or anything like that.You, the DM, have to make that connection. The old lord in his hall, the description never mentions his daughter … just provides her stat block. Make of it, riff off of it, as you will. Which I can appreciate! … to a degree.

The entire adventure is like that. Everything in it. You find your livestock taken off. What do you do? Go back to town? (And, the town is 1 mile from the farmstead currently being raided by the brigands … uh … shouldn’t that play some part in what is going on in town? I guess not?) What this needed was just a little bit more in each area. A small amount of riffing from one area to the next. More colorful interactions, like a better description of the whorehouse. As is, it, and the rest of the descriptions, are a little generic. Not vanilla, but generic. Here’s the whorehouse:

“A two-story stone structure with colorfully painted shutter. The sign hanging over the entrance shows an image of a shapely woman. This is a brothel, run by a middle aged woman named

Mother Eddith. She’s a woman of ample form and a pleasant face. Her workers are well cared for here and learn other life skills as well. They earn a measure of the coin they make and may leave at any time they so choose, just so long as they don’t open up

their own business in town. Eddith is one of the wealthiest people in town. She has one guard, her son Igmus, a simple minded giant of a man. He considers all the working girls his siblings and will protect them to the best of his abilities, which when angered are quite formidable.”

The elements are there. The madam. The son. His sibling relationship. But that’s it. The interactivity is not present. The color from the rest of the town. The town and wilderness encounters absolutely fall in to this, and the templebrigand lair less so but still. 

You eventually track them back to their lair, a facade in the side of a mountain. Turns out its an old dwarf temple. With a symmetrical map. Ug! We do get an alternate entrance, behind a waterfall. (Yeah!) What follows is kind of a harn-like assault on a mostly linear map. You will attempt to sneak in, kill guards and hope the alarm isn’t raised, eventually finding a pitched battle. 

Descriptions inside are much the same as the town: a tad bland. Intellectual? The latrine tells us that “This room is fouled with the stink of offal. It’s obvious the bandits are using this area to as a latrine and toss other waste here. Rats scurry away into cracks in the walls when light is brought here.” The writing is a little … hoity? High-handed? There’s no viscereality to it.  There are better example of thes in the adventure, such as: “A triangular fire pit burns with low oddly coloured flames. The flickering flames reveal an arc of runes upon the wall.” This is not the worst writing. But it comes off a little forced and as an academic version. “The flickering flames reveal” is a little too tash trope literary. It FEELS forced, rather than natural. And because of that I think it comes off as uninspiring.

Eventually the bandits are defeated and/or hidden parts of hte temple are revealed, with their dwarven challenges and rituals, or caverns with the newt-people in it. (Which seems a little out of place. I get adding secrets. I love that. It just seems to be missing some potential. Like, lets rally them to help defeat the bandits or something … but they seem almost an afterthought, thrown in at the last moment. 

Individually, the elements here are quite good. The lumberjacks keeping an elf captured in their basement to torment until he reveals his treasure. The shot dog. The newtmen. But they just don’t seem to work together. It’s the academic language of Harn creating an academic environment. And I get it … that’s a genre. I mean, the place is full of humans and ½ orcs, with an occasional small number of bestial orcs and an ogre tossed in … textbook examples of my preference for humans as opponents with a spash of bestial humanoids. But, together, it doesn’t ring true. A little too much explaining. A need to cut at least a third of the words, if not more, and bring the language down to more evocative descriptions and away from the academic or Harn and AS&SH. And … a hard fight for level 1’s.

This is Pay What You Want at DriveThru, with a suggested price of $10. Proceeds are going to the Autism Research Institute. A subtle dig?

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/379533/No-ArtPunk-Vol-1?1892600

Posted in Dungeons & Dragons Adventure Review, Reviews | 25 Comments

The Temple of Hypnos (No ArtPunk #1)

Posted on December 22, 2021 by Bryce Lynch

Ok, I’m back from vacation. The stupid fucking script I wrote can chill out now.

This is a compilation of the best eight entries from Prince’s recent No ArtPunk contest. Basically, you had to use published monsters, magic items, etc, with one unique allowance allowed in each category. Settle in, I’m reviewing one adventure at a time. Also, I admit that an orgy of women, wine, bread, circuses, and self-absorbed loathing kept me from reading Prince’s commentary earlier. So I’m going in to this blind. Let’s see what “winning” entries look like, shall we?

The Temple of Hypnos
Olle Skogren
Level 5
ACKS

On the shore of a great lake, in a verdant valley surrounded by steep cliffs, lies the Temple of Hypnos. On a sunny day the brass eyes over the main gate will flash and be visible from across the lake. A hooded ferryman in a narrow boat ferry visitors to the sandy beach near the Temple. Only 6 people with little equipment can be ferried at once, the trip taking 3 turns each way. The other way in is by the Road to Sleep which goes through a narrow pass into the valley.

This thirteen page adventure uses five pages to describe about 21 rooms inside a temple dedicated to the god of sleep. It uses standard two-column well, sucking all of the formatting life out of it, and provides good evocative descriptions and an adventuring environment full of things to explore. I consider this Baseline Quality.

Where to start, where to start. We’ve got a temple to the god of sleep and rumor has it that weird shit is going down in there all of sudden. Plus, you know, there’s this cloud giant in the forest that is too big to fit in and he’d like this silk tunic from inside. Also, Glaucas the greater is camped nearby with a group of 100 dudes, getting ready to raid the place. Might not be enough loot to split one hundred ways … might want to take a little looksy before he gets there, eh? That’s how you write from fucking hooks man! A fucking cloud giant with a voice like a whispering gale? Uh, fuck yeah! A dude gathering men to raid the place … and the party sneaking off early to raid it before he does? Uh … fuck yeah! And, get this, dude will show up AFTER the party loot the place … better pay his ass off if you want to keep the loot! That’s how to write some fooking hooks man!

This things is nothing to look at, formatting wise. Meaning that no fancy layout software was used. It looks like the designer just wrote the fucking up in a standard word processor, maybe even Google Docs, and stuck it in two-column. With intelligent use of bolding, underlining, italics, and text centering/alignment. I really can’t compliment them enough on this. It serves as magnificent example of just what you can do with the free shit on the Internet. The most basic of things, a two-colum from Gioogle Docs, provides decent formatting and ease of use. Sure, there’s a place or two where things could be better. A little more use of white space, and some of the treasure lists tend to run on line after line. Think of things like spell lists and paragraph breaks without indents, for example. That could be much better, but, again, google doc two-column! You don’t need fancy fucking tools to crank out an adventure. 

The map looks like the most complex thing in the adventure, from a formatting/tools standpoint. It’s pretty clear map, not at all symmetrical (Ug! I hate symmetrical temple maps!) with some light use of color to help, along with simple stars for statues, relative to their size, and so on. Very clear and easy to read, with only the room keys being too small. That might be better if it were printed out, but, I still think a little work could have been done here to improve things and make the keys easier to immediately grok.

The writing style is generally very good. It’s evocative and relatively terse. The entrance is described as “50′ tall Doric columns hold up a massive roof of black-gray shale slabs. The frieze is crowded with painted carvings of humans and monsters in repose. The parting triglyphs are carved into poppies and painted red.” That’s not bad at all! It forms a strong mental image. Or in room one 20’ tall doors of blackwood with a pair of brass ovals formed as sleepy eyes hanging over them; one is crooked creaked an unhinged impression.” Short and sweet. I like it! One room description has “a domineering satyr teaching an increasingly frustrated bugbear the harp.” Domineering. Teaching. Frustrated. One short sentence overloaded with the right words to create an effect that helps the DM immediately know how to run the room. Monster descriptions are great. Bugbears that look like large shaggy men in midnight blue robes and beaten copper masks in the image of hypmos. Voices droning & monotone.  That’s how to write a fucking monster description people. MIDNIGHT blue. BEATEN copper masks of Hypnos. Simple descriptions that use the right words to immediately evoke the vibe. Rock On Oll whoever the fuck you are! Note the tserseness and the specificity Not cultist garb. Not robes. Midnight blue robes. Not masks. Beaten copper masks. Two extra fucking words making it specific. That’s the fucking specificity I’m talking about! 

Interactivity is great. It’s written as a location that exists aside from adventuring. Things are going on inside. It’s not written explicitly to expect the adventuring party. This gives it a more “module”or sandboxy feel. Feel free to drop by and visit for awhile. Witness the freakiness. Try to avoid being abducted. Covet the loot out in the open. And then maybe get holy hell rained down upon you. One of my favorite moments is a well, a shallow pool full of water. Shadows dwell on the bottom, but only attack if you fuck with the water. A kind of well of souls kind of thing. In other places, shadows could meet their former human zombified bodies and merge with them, coming back to life in a daze. This makes sense. The elements here are, as with all No-Artpunk entries, standard D&D. But they are used in a fashion that makes sense. It’s not the throw off kind of D&D where you just walk in to a room and fight three shadows. They MEAN something here, specific to their environment. This is the kind of neutral adventuring environment that I love so much. Neither against or for the players, but standing apart to exploit or be exploited by an adventuring party. 

I have no idea who the fuck the designer designer is. Hey, Olle, whoeever the fuck you are: Good jorb! If this is typical of the winning entries then this will be a very strong volume of adventures, indeed!

This is Pay What You Want at DriveThru, with a suggested price of $10. Proceeds are going to the Autism Research Institute. A subtle dig?

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/379533/No-ArtPunk-Vol-1

Posted in Dungeons & Dragons Adventure Review, Level 5, The Best | 19 Comments

The Many Lost Loves of Blackstone Tower

Posted on December 20, 2021 by Bryce Lynch 
By James Hanna
Fey Light Studio
B/X
Levels 3-4

Blackstone Tower was supposed to be the perfect home for Virvul and Gosian, two of the greatest wizards in the world. Instead, it was abandoned, their monument to magic. This is the story of that place, and the many loves who came here, and some of those who never left.

This sixteen page adventure uses nine pages to describe a tower with about five levels. It has a gorgeous map/illustrations and is an utter shit show of an adventure. It obfuscates usage … ON PURPOSE. This means it’s not actually an adventure but rather some masturabatory art project.  Joy.

I had high hopes for this. I can dig a tragic story. Melancholy is my friend. It’s got some pretty good art in it as inspiration. And that fucking map! Oh, so, I like the color blue. And this map manages to evoke the kind of airy dream-like quality that a good wizards tower should. Alien and recognizable, airy and organic. Seriously, this fucking map looks like it was custom designed to appeal to me, as an art or inspiration object.

There are inspired moments in this. There’s a waterfall flowing from an upper level of the tower and to get in to the tower you need to walk through it. That’s both magical and sure to be a source of terror for experienced OSR players. “Uh, fuck no. I’m not walking through that thing …” Inside we can see a tower fountain, shooting up in the air, forty, or fifty feet high, in middle of a large open room. Turns out it’s the guardian water elemental. Didn’t see that coming, did you? Or the origin of the entrance waterfall, coming from a living quarters on an upper level, with a veranda to look out over the land. That is, I think the last of grooooovy elements in this.

Because this thing is an utter shit show. I mean absolutely the worst dreck possible. Because, you see, it’s not an actual adventure. It’s actually some art project that is taking the form of an adventure. If an adventure is a piece of technical writing, meant to be used to facilitate a game at the table, then what do you call something that purposefully obfuscates the DMs ability to run it at the table? And I don’t mean the usual shit. I don’t mean someone who doesn’t know any better or just is simply bad as making something useful to the DM. I mean, what if you made decisions to make it harder to run the adventure? Like, I know know, you write it in Basque in limerick form and all of the phrasing was metaphorical. Can you call that an adventure? Well, I guess, as the designer, you can call it whatever you want. As the arbiter of my own tastes, though, I dub thee “Shit show art project that makes me feel like I’ve been manipulated and deceived.” And as a good little midwesterner, well, we don’t like to feel like we’ve been deceived. Hardworking people, we like our snakeoil to contain both snake AND oil. 

The origin for my extreme disgust is the writing style. The adventure is written in voice from two different perspectives. EVERYTHING is in voice. Everything. FIrst, you get the voice of one of the wizards, giving interior design and architecture notes to an architect. Second, you have the architects comments between themself and their parter as a kind of “handwritten” addendum to the wizards instructions. It’s like the wizard was writing a letter to the architect and then the architect added some notes to it in the margins.

An example? Allow me …

“Sadly, rugged black basalt composes the vast majority of our beach front property

wish for you to clear out three areas and dredge some proper sand up to make sheltered beaches where Z and I can lounge in the sun.”

How about the description of a trap in one of the rooms? “A few oozes ought to do it. Hide them in chambers around the pool, and then flood the room, allowing the oozes, practically invisible in the water, to dissolve the hapless intruders. Once the room fills, have a tube dump the gelatinous contents into the sea.”

Or, perhaps, the description of the main bedchamber room that contains this little gem: “It is done. She is no more. She has taken herself from me. But I will always have her body to gaze upon when I wish it, for her body shall lie preserved forever in the waters of her home, in the bed which we made together.”

Like, what the fuck man?! The ENTIRE adventure is written like this. Not just in voice, but with the details obfuscated. From that last section you’re supposed to get that the chicks body is in the pool of water in the room. 

The designer wanted some kind of forlorn tragic love story thing. I’m not even sure that’s in this. It’s written in such an obtuse way that I can’t even tell if the two wizards are actually IN the tower. How’s that for fucked up?

Look, I got no problem with your art project. I’ve got no problem with experimentation. But I suggest that you didn’t actually write an adventure. You wrote some kind of piece of literature or performance art that mimics the form of an adventure. Because to be an adventure you have to be able to use it at the table and you can’t use this at the table. And the choices made in the design were explicitly to LIMIT its usage at the table. That may be too strong a statement. It may be that the designer wanted to play with voice and style. But the direct impact was that it limits its usage. In exactly the same way as if you sold a book of Basque limericks to English speakers as an adventure. It’s not.

And put the fucking level range on the cover or in the product description. Jesus H Fucking Christ how many fuckimg times do I have to fucking say that?

I leave you with this, the design notes from a wizard, describing how to get from one place to another, buried in the text of a larger room description and not shown on the map: “The only way into the grotto is via the staircase that winds along its perimeter and emerges in the center of the foyer beneath the hidden door.”

This is $6 at DriveThru. If you buy at DriveThru you will get an InDesign file. If you mail the designer to get a PDF you will get no response. You can then go to itch and claim one of the free community copies. Also, not preview, although there are page scans on the product page. You see that little “agreement” section on the last page? You have no idea how important that is from the preview. It should have shown a full level/encounter/room if it was going to go down the experimental path.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/377939/The-Many-Lost-Loves-of-Blackstone-Tower?1892600

Posted in Dungeons & Dragons Adventure Review, Reviews | 18 Comments

The Death Downs

Posted on December 18, 2021 by Bryce Lynch 
By Thom Wilson
ThrowiGames
Five Torches Deep
Levels 7-9

The Death Downs is a vast burial mound of noble families and great warriors. Characters will discover great riches and wealth if they can survive the burial ground’s traps and evil undead.

This 55 page adventure details nineteen burial mounds with about four rooms each, and one larger mound with about thirteen rooms. There are occasional bursts of interesting interactivity, but, the overly rigid formatting and lack of evocative writing really drags the entire thing down.

Bree & the Barrows Downs hangs heavy over the hobby. In my youth it entranced me, mostly for the treasure I think. Because the actual product was lacking with little more than the usual great maps and the laundry list of treasure items. This doesn’t stray much from that formula, although the entries take up a lot more space and there actually are a few points of interactivity.

Nineteen burial mounds, in a misty and swampy valley. You get no map of the valley, or the general mound arrangement; the adventure just launches in to the keyed locations for each of the mounds and provides a little map at the start of each one. Each one has between two and four rooms, with the last mound having thirteen. 

The highlight of this adventure, appearing infrequently, is the interactive elements. One room has a shallow empty pool basin with whispering voices circling around it when you get close. Runes on the bottom, spoken outloud, cause it to fill with what is a healing potion. And placing something in the dry pool otherwise causes a shadow serpent to appear. That’s great design! Weal and Woe! A hint of the arcane and supernatural! Another has a statue with a slow petrification gaze. Behind it, at the head, is a jar full of grey goo … that can be used like a petrification potion; it has been powering the statue. I’m not always a big fan of “things that make logical sense”, like a potion powering a statue, but sympathetic magic is a big turn on for me and if handled well, like it is here, then it makes for a great interactive element. When the adventure is engaging in acts like this then it’s doing a great job. Of course not every room is expected to be fun and games, and the rooms here are sparsely populated throughout the mounds. The highly interactive ones, I mean. There is the usual assortment of creatures and traps as well thrown in, of the more mundane variety. I’ve always wondered about undead in these high level adventures. Do we make every creature a Vampire-class monster so as to manage the turning issue? Maybe Five Torches handles it differently? Whatever. Decent interactivity, although perhaps a little sparse, a problem exacerbated, I think, by the “individual mounds” format.

One of my two major malfunctions with this adventure is the formatting selected. It is an extremely rigid system. While I do prefer a good format, I also want it tuned to the adventure, with a willingness to break the rules of the formatting when needed in service to the adventure digestibility. In this one I can get what the designer was going for, but I don’t think what was intended is what comes across at all.

First, we’ve got a little italics to start the room, usually a short sentence. As far as I can tell, this serves no porpoise (Thanks autocorrect, I will be spelling porpoise that way from now on!) at all. Room one area one says “A prominent tomb far enough away from the corruption to be unaffected by the infection…for now.” Great! So … absolutely no value to the adventure at all? Dead weight. Filler. This is followed by GM notes. This tends to be still more useless background information, like “The challenging locked door (DC 15) has yet to be opened by previous explorers.” or “a 1 in 10 chance that the dead here have been corrupted and reanimate.” So, the presence of more background fluff should be an obvious NoNo by now. We also see an example here of the misuse of randomness. Just make it full of undead or not. You need to actually DESIGN the adventure and make the various parts work with each other, not just rely on randomness for the adventure. 

Ok, so, two sections in to a room description and it’s still not very good. We then get a Quick View section. Alright! I’m on board! Except, it overexplains. “Diamond tiara lies on a partial skull.” Hmmm, no, that’s detailed view, the next section. For quick view it should be a glint of light from the head or something.  Detailed view tells us … Skeletal female form and the exact value of all of the treasure goods found on the body. Then we get smell “Slight acidic aroma” This should probably be in the quick view, but, it does foreshadow a trap, which is good. Then we get a secrets section, which is normally telling us about a secret nice to be found, and then a Traps section saying something like “Acide cloud erupts if the tiara is moved”

The overall effect is disconnected. No notation in the tiara section that it is trapped. Different elements and aspects of various room features are scattered across a column of text, causing the DM to need to reference multiple sections during an initial action. I mean, I get what the designer is trying to do, but it just doesn’t work out right here. The italics and GM notes are mostly useless. The Quick View should be First Impressions and contain the (obvious) sensory data. The Detailed view should follow up on individual objects.  And a separate trap section is fine, for detailed information on traps, but, I have to ask: why? Why are the taps so complex that you feel you need to almost a third of a page to describe a simple “pick up tiara trigger acide cloud” trap? It’s trap & door porn all over again, with overly mechanistic details. 

Combined with this, or perhaps because of it, is the somewhat drab nature of the descriptions. I thought things were going to be coo. A sunlit valley, full of mist, a marshland in it, a dry spot in the middle covered with mounds, others flooded in the marsh … That’s pretty good! But the actual rooms are bogged down by that format and come across lame. “Most of thi tomb has collapsed.” Rectangular room with massive wall tapestries. Central stone slab covered in bones and rotten silk fabric. Meh. And., there’s no follow up on the tapestries. We get over-explained quick views that have very little in the way of painting an evocative setting.It don’t feel like a dry & dusty tomb.

Did I mention there’s a tomb devoted to dead circus performers? I will never fucking understand this obsession with the circus/carnival. 

One room tells us it is very well lit with chanting. It’s about 30 feet from the entrance. That’s something you want to mention in the entrance, not in the room in question. You want to tell the party that when they can sense it. This happens repeatedly in the adventure. I will not cover in detail the room that says the walls had portraits that are now missing. *sigh*

Whatever this adventure has going on for it it is obfuscated behind mounds and mounds of detritus. 

This is $3 at DriveThru. The preview is about twelve pages and shows a lot of room descriptions, so it’s a good preview.


https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/379439/The-Death-Downs?1892600

Posted in Reviews | 11 Comments

Whispers from Wavering Hills

Posted on December 15, 2021 by Bryce Lynch 
By Scott Cox
Self Published
Call of Cthulhu

Wavering Hills Sanatorium, a hospital for the relief of suffering lies nestled in central Kentucky on grounds with a sordid and mysterious past. The apparent suicide of a troubled young girl yields questions of an otherworldly nature. Will the investigators unravel the mystery of Wavering Hills?

This fourteen page adventure details the investigations in a sanitarium. It’s a basic investigation and at a pretty high level, which is good for an investigation. But, it lacks basic details and doesn’t help the DM out enough. You can do high level, but you need to support it also.

A request! You know how I love to do requests! So stop your bitching and allow me to be do this good act.

It is our investigators first adventure and its in a sanitarium. There are no real hooks, just a suggestion that they could be new staff or new patients “or any other reason.” None of this really helps, at all. No information to support play as staff or patients or “anything else.” It’s needs about one page more to develop a solid hook/background/support for this. Otherwise the DM is left with making up what its like to be patient, or staff, or whatever. 

There are a few NPC’s, a head nurse, the doc in charge, and a patient, with a couple of other patients given a few words. The NPCS that do exist are done well, with solid trophy personalities to play up. Maybe a few example statements would have been nice for each of them, and a fw more staff and patients, but, whatever. “Nurse & mother hen” and “cold hearted and single minded” go over well in my book.

There’s a small section on the five sense, which I really appreciate. Adding the sound echoes or antiseptic smell is a good touch for the DM to add to room and encounter descriptions. This could have been put on the border of the map page, or some such, to keep the DM reminded of tit. 

Of, wait, there’s NOT a map page. There is, instead, a brief text description of the hospital. Of, like, eleven floors. Un. Cool. That does NOT work at all. You just need a basic fucking map. You can just label it, you don’t need to describe every room, but you need SOMETHING to support the party sneaking around and avoiding nurses, doctors, etc. 

There’s some other simple things wrong also, like putting the read-aloud in italics and making it long. It doesn’t overexplain, but it does get long. Which is how a 1.5 hour adventure gets to fourteen pages. Yes, 1.5 hour or so. It’s VERY short. There’s not a lot going on and the investigation is pretty straightforward. Oh, look, the third floor is chained shut, let’s go there!

But thats not the main issue here. The main issue the the overview style of presentation.

This is going to get a bit complex. Essentially the adventure is written as an investigation. Rather than room/key it instead covers major rooms, like the docs office, etc, and gives an description of those major locations. Which is exactly what should be going on. And it details some of the key things that the DM should be doing in the different chapters. Like, in this chapter they should learn X or discover Y. That’s great. I can quibble that those sections could be clearer/easier to find and parse, but the dude has the right idea. Kind of a major outline, with more detail zoomed in on for those sections that need it. 

But, we’ve already seen, that the adventure glosses over just about everything else. I mean, no map. No real hospital staff scedule. Nothing to support sneaking around or asking questions or anything like that. And lets pray no one goes in to town for a newspaper office; there’s no support for anything other than looking around the hospital. 

It’s so very BASIC. That doesn’t have to be bad, but, in this case, its completely straightforward. It opens with a patient jumping off the roof and saying something like she wanted to fly “like they do” and green goo leaking from her ears. Ok. So, no build up at all then. Ok, third floor is chained up. Let’s fucking hit it! 

It needs more build up. More support for investigating and talking to people. A basic map to run nightime stealth. A few more NPCs to round things out. Maybe a few subplots going on. None of this has to be huge, at all. But the complete lack of support for anything OTHER than the very short adventure hinders the play immensely, IMO. or, perhaps, hinders the support of the DM in trying to get more out of this. 

This is $3 at Drivethru.The preview is not the best for figuring out if you’d like this. Page three, though, does have the text description of the hospital layout.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/378808/Whispers-from-Wavering-Hills?1892600

Hello. This is the Bryce Emergency Review protocol. Bryce writes about three weeks ahead and has not written a new review in about three weeks, so this script has snagged an emergency review to post instead. Bryce has also been emailed and told to get back to work instead of engaging in whatever delight he is currently using to manage ennui.

Posted in Reviews | 26 Comments

Alas poor Otto

Posted on December 13, 2021 by Bryce Lynch 
By Greg Saunders
Fire Ruby Design
Mork Borg

The wizard Inclulas is dead – a spiked club to the back of the head has that effect no matter how many scrolls you own. Brigands have looted his body within sight of his manse, and his scrolls disintegrate into the bloody mud around him. His servant, Ottö, saw the murder, but his presence in the backlit doorway scared the murderers away – for the time being. Now Ottö has retreated to the alchemical workshop, to help himself to all the liquor he can find. He has inadvertently mixed several potions together in his guts, and the weird magical concoction has had peculiar effects…

Sixteen digest pages of garbage detail nine rooms in a wizards home. More Mork Borg crap.

I know, I know. Believe me I know. How could I not know? I mean, it says Mork Borg right on the blurb. We all know what that means. It’s gonna suck. We all know that. I mean, there’s a chance it won’t, right? And, we can’t actually, any of us, say that we know its gonna suck OUT LOUD. That’s not cool, to lump them all together. But, seriously, we all know this at this point in time. So then why? Why review it? I promise you that I don’t do this on porpoise. As I have said, time and again, I go in to these things with a sense of wonder and hope, optimism for a bright new tomorrow. I mean, read that intro again. “A spiked club to the back of the head has that effect no matter how many scrolls you own.” That’s fucking great! I love that! The rest of this HAS GOT to be like that, right?! 

Let’s crack this fucker open and back in the glow of each other majestic presence! Oooo, look, a description of the butler, Otto! “A thin, gangly man dressed like a shabby butler, with a balding egg-like head surmounted with a strange hat and a pronounced slouch, Ottö is no one’s idea of a good servant. Luckily, Inclulas was no one’s idea of a good master. Ottö is in parts whiny, moody and acerbic, but under it all lies a simmering rage at the injustice of his servitude. Unfortunately, he is also a coward, which is why he is still here after all these years. Drunk: Ottö is completely inebriated. We’ve all been there.” 

I mean, that a little lengthy, but, it’s a good description. A shabby butler, egg-like balding, pronounced slouch, a simmering rage at the injustice of his servitude just under the surface. That fucking rocks. “We’ve all been there.” That’s right man! Tuesday mornings, am I right?!?!

It is at this point that the adventure turns to suckatude.

There are virtually no creatures in the nine room mansion. Instead we are told to sprinkle in the four aspects of ottos’ split personality. They “may be encountered as drama and whim dictate.” Oh come the fuck on man. Fucking pout a creature in a god damn room! Would it fucking kill you to marry the room to a specific Otto and something specific going on? I mean, yes, it would fucking force you to actually come up with something that fits together. Heaven fucking forfuckingbig that you do that. I mean, after all, you’re only asking $4 for this thing, why would we expect you to do any work for us, right? 

The wizards lab? “In here are scattered the paraphernalia of a master of the arcane arts. Or it might be a useless collection of broken glass and rubbish. You decide.” Hmmm, I’m starting to sense a pattern. How about treasure in Otto’s room? “scroll (randomly determine which one) and a scattering of gold and silver coins” 

Are you worried about being judged? Is that why you don’t put anything specific down? If you don’t make a decision then no one can blast you for the decision you have made? And, if someone, such as a certain reviewer, blasts you for that you can just say that people just don’t you, man …    

I think not. This is just fucking lazy design, as all Mork Borg designs are. Are they all? DO I ever recall seeing a Mork Borg design that WASNT lazy as fucking shit? I don’t know. It doesn’t fucking feel that way right now. It feels like all of the Mork Borg shit is just some random ideas someone took an hour to throw down on paper. No real thought. No real design. No real attempt to make this in to an actual playable adventure. 

Is it that much fucking work? No. I mean, I asked these fucking questions before, a couple of years ago, and that what inspired the work I did on Maw. Can you just take a couple of hours and create something worthwhile. My goal was, I think, an hour to create a dungeon level. By the third-ish level I was able to create a dungeon level in about 90 minutes. Were they fucking works of genius? No. But they were fucking light years ahead of this crap. It CAN be done in a short amount of time. You CAN spend just a few hours to polish something enough to be a good enough design to get great gaming out of it.

But not it you don’t understand. Not if you don’t understand what an RPG is and how it is played. Not if you don’t understand what an adventure is and not if you don’t understand how to write for the DM. If you don’t understand those things then you get something like this. “Hey, man, here’s some ideas. Like, use them, or not, if you want, to run a game. Or riff off of or something.” That’s not an adventure.

 This is Pay What You Want at DriveThru, with a suggested price of $4. The preview is ten pages and tells you all you need to know.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/378452/Alas-poor-Otto–A-Mork-Borg-Adventure?1892600

Hello. This is the Bryce Emergency Review protocol. Bryce writes about three weeks ahead and has not written a new review in about three weeks, so this script has snagged an emergency review to post instead. Bryce has also been emailed and told to get back to work instead of engaging in whatever delight he is currently using to manage ennui.

Posted in Dungeons & Dragons Adventure Review, Reviews | 34 Comments

Legacy of Blood

Posted on December 11, 2021 by Bryce Lynch 
By Jonathan Hicks
Open Ended Games inc
Against the Darkmaster
Levels 2-3

Once one of the mightiest families of all the Nine Kingdoms, the Leorics have now fallen on hard times. Dark tidings and unspeakable rumors surround this once noble house. But a chance at redemption may still be at hand. In a desperate race against time, the heroes must recover a cache of lost magical artifacts before they fall into the hands of agents of the Darkmaster. Only this way they can restore the fallen noble family’s legacy, and stop the darkness spreading through their domains. Can they reach the treasure before the agents of the Darkmaster pursuing them? Can they sneak past the dragon who has made Castle Dulgroth her lair? Can they survive this Legacy of Blood?

This 37 page movie uses 22 pages to describe a fantasy novel. 

Like what the fuck man? What the serious fuck. Are you proud of this “adventure?” This is what you dreamed of doing? This is what you lay awake thinking about? No? It’s just a fucking paycheck for every single person involved? Oh? Rlly?  I couldn’t tell.

This thing is crap, from start to finish. I’m not sure there’s anything good about it at all. It doesn’t feel like a cynical money grab, but, rather, a product mired in the past. As if someone active in RPG’s from an earlier era decided to produce something and had learned absolutely nothing in the meantime. Cycnically, I think it’s just pushing out product and who the fuck gives an actual fuck the morons are going to buy the fucking thing anyway so why actually give a shit in producing something good?

This is now, what, the second fucking review in a fucking row of a movie plot adventure? You don’t have agency here. What you have here is columns long read-aloud text in which NPCs dump fucking exposition at you. All in italics, of course, because no one gives a flying fuck about usability or readability. And then the overly dramatic read-aloud exposition is then followed by mountains of DM text all arranged in just normal paragraph form. It’s fucking impossible to find anything in this. There is NO scanability, at all. This is Dungeon magazine, the worst of Dungeon magazine, all over again. In 2021. 

You ready for some hooks? How about an exciting one, like “They are looking for new opportunities and have swords and spells to hire out.” Yeah, that’s the extent of the fucking hook. The others are similar. A fucking hook that says absolutly fucking nothing at all. Why the fuck is this included? Do you seriously think that this is adding value to the product? Do you seriously think that this is helping someone run their game? No? It’s just fucking boilerplate? THEN WHY THE FUCK WAS IT INCLUDED? Because there was a word count, perhaps? 

Blah blah blah, … Desperate Race Against Time. Uh huh. You put that fucking shit in your adventure description and I know its crap without even reading it.

Ok, so, what’s up here? The actual adventure? It’s a fucking movie. You will get almost no choices at all. You will go overland and get attacked by The Darkmasters forces. You will win, and then an overwhelming force will descend upon you. The goal is to get the party to run, so there can be the next section … The Exciting Chase! And of, course, whats an exciting chase without a rescue from a mysterious ranger?! And then, of course, the chase must resume so you can flee in to a barrow and have the entrance collapse just in time separating you all from the darkmasters forces. And then you explore to escape only to find a tunnel that leads to where you want to go … pursued by the forces breaking in to the barrow. Only to come to a vault. Where the ranger betrays you! Ohs nos! And then the darkmasters forces arrive and attack! Ohs Nos! And then the dragon above shows up! Ohs Nos! 

“Anything can happen on this journey; perhaps a small scout force of Orc wolf riders intercept the players as they head to the barrows.” Yeah. That’s what you’re fucking paying for. To be told anything can happen on this journey. This thing is padded the fuck out. Backstory and motivations. The animated skeletons “have sworn to protect the riches of the barrow and they will do so!” Uh huh. That helped me run the game. “The water is ankle deep which could signify that the barrows are below the water level of the lake and the water is getting in somehow. “Wlel, just fucking wonderful. The price of tea in Taiwan while we’re at it? 

The absolute worst kind of drivel. Cinematic bullshit. Meant to tell a fucking exciting story. It might as well be a video game that is nothing more than quicktime events. This is why we play D&D? To have no choices? To just roll dice in combats? To have no control over the fate of your own lives? 

My cynicism here is strong. It’ is SO depressing to see shit like this. I get that different games have different vibes and the extreme agency of exploration D&D is not the vibe of every game. But to have little to no agency at all? Like the serious fuck? Didn’t that go out decades ago? Shall we forever cursed to relive this shit, because of designers or publishers unwilling or unable to liearn from the past? Shall I be generous to people who have made little to no effort to learn and update based on the times? Is all there is just banging two rocks together, forever, with no progression beyond that?

This is $9 at DriveThru. The preview is four pages. You get tp see that magnificent hook page and a couple of pages of irrelevant backstory. So, terrible preview that in no way helps you make a purchasing decision.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/374191/Legacy-of-Blood?1892600

Hello. This is the Bryce Emergency Review protocol. Bryce writes about three weeks ahead and has not written a new review in about three weeks, so this script has snagged an emergency review to post instead. Bryce has also been emailed and told to get back to work instead of engaging in whatever delight he is currently using to manage ennui.

Posted in Reviews | 14 Comments

The Dungeon Near the Shadow

Posted on December 8, 2021 by Bryce Lynch 
By Jason Wardell
Phantom Funeral Press
Generic/Universal/OSR
Low levels

The persistent suborbital occlusion sits writhing in the west. It dropped from the heavens, some say, or maybe it bubbled out of the ground or burst out of the space between air, three years past. Some call it the shadow for how it negates the light, drowning everything it covers in opaque darkness. The sun no longer sets in the west: it disappears into the shadow, and each evening you can hear prayers at every hearth that it returns unchanged the next day. Most things that enter the shadow do not return, and if they do, they are seldom unchanged.

This sixteen page adventure details a dungeon with ten rooms. It’s trying to be creepy, brings a little in the into, and then fails to convey that in the room descriptions. I can haz sadz. 🙁

Okey doke. That fucking intro rocks, doesn’t it? Hey kids, who wants to go to that place that causes the sun not to set? You do?! Me too! I wonder if we can find any men at arms to go with us for 1sp a day? Might a rough sell …

There’s a town, it’s well and terse described, as are the people in it. Casidy, an apprentice blacksmith and former guard at The Dungeon (it was an outpost of the Tyrant King … before The Shadow swallowed his entire kingdom whole …) has this to say for herself “We weren’t all bad. Some of us strove to make things better… Not all of them deserved to die. Many did, but not all. I should have done more.” You’re still getting stabbed Casidy, as a minion of the Tyrant King, but, hey, I appreciate your introspection. JK! No reason to stab her. Which is the BEST reason, of course! Anyway, NPC’s in town are good and so is the rumor table. It sets everything up as very creepy. ““Those people, those changed things in the shadow look creepy, but they’re harmless. Mostly eat bugs and moss to survive.” Nice rumor! Very in voice! 

What follows is a long section of text about The Shadow, or, more proper, the Miasma that impacts you if you’ve been in The Shadow too long. Save for effects, they build up over time, and … well … this is the first sign of trouble. The entire thing, all of the effects, the timeline, everything, is presented as, essentially, two pages of text in paragraph form. NOT. COOL. This is not a table that you can reference easily. This is a book that you must read and memorize, or, worse, highlight. And that’s not fucking hapenning. Ok. so, it sometimes happens, but, it has to be a pretty stellar product for that to happen. And this ain’t it.

Because of … the rooms.

Every ten minutes and every time you enter a room you roll for a wanderer. That seems a bit excessive to me. Almost as if we’re mashing up encounters rather than pushing the party along and getting them to stop wasting time.

Further, and more seriously, the rooms are … less than creepy and more … disorganized.

Basically, each room is a mass of text paragraphs, one or two usually, that is some weird combination of text that could be read-aloud or could be DM text or could be … something else. I don’t know. There’s second-person, so, some “you’s” in there. Which makes me think it’s read-aloud. But then it also gives away information like it’s DM text. It tells us that statues are of the Tyrant King, that would be DM text instead of read-aloud, or that a doorway was barricaded by Carl … which is absolutely DM text. The descriptions are abstracted and not very evocative, as opposed to the dream-like descriptions that teased the adventure in the first place. “The armory is mostly picked clean, save for a large set of Imperial Armor? and several days worth of lantern oil & torches.” That is not a picture painted. That is abstracted fact based text with the words “picked clean” inserted. 

There are a couple of interesting wanderers in the dungeon. A shadow beast and a shadow man, both of which seems fairly interesting, or have the potential to be so, but are not used well at all. No real support in their descriptions (maybe that art piece in room four is it?) and not really any good supporting information on interacting with them. What could have been a magical mystery comes off as a stat block with a sentence of “he attacks you if you killed anyone” text. 

Efforts like this are disappointing. It’s a good idea. The creature concepts range from meh to excellent, but the dungeon is poorly implemented, for the most part, and everything comes off as “meh” because of the blandness of the actual adventure and descriptions. 

This is $4 at DriveThru and I don’t see no preview. Boo! Boo I saw, Sir! Give us a preview so we can determine what we are buying before we buy it!


https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/378192/The-Dungeon-Near-the-Shadow?1892600

Hello. This is the Bryce Emergency Review protocol. Bryce writes about three weeks ahead and has not written a new review in about three weeks, so this script has snagged an emergency review to post instead. Bryce has also been emailed and told to get back to work instead of engaging in whatever delight he is currently using to manage ennui.

Posted in Dungeons & Dragons Adventure Review, Reviews | 6 Comments

Frankenstein

Posted on December 6, 2021 by Bryce Lynch 
By Daniel DeFazio
B&W Media
Generic (no stats)

Ingolstadt, Bavaria – 1799 Elizabeth Lavenza is searching for her fiancé Victor Frankstein. Cholera has taken the lives of many citizens of the city and the streets are crammed with fear. Amidst the chaos, bodies of victims are going missing and a creature stalks the rooftops near Victor’s laboratory.

This twenty page adventure, a re-telling of Frankenstein, exemplifies all that is wrong with late 90’s role playing adventures. 

Todays review is charity work. Someone suggested that this designer is A) popular in the new world we find ourselves in and B) needs help. So, I’m jumping in. Both statements are very accurate. The designer has their own website and runs a decently popular youtube channel. And they have no clue how to write an adventure. Since the fucking fanboys are sure to show up, let’s make this clear. This is not a moral judgement on the designer, or a reflection of them as a dungeonmaster. This is a statement based on their inability to have the skill of technical writing, or at least to recognize that adventure writing is technical writing. The purpose is to help the DM run the adventure at the table.

First, let us examine the subject matter: Frankenstein. Another offering is MacDeath, clearly a riff on the play. Both well known works and essentially retellings. At least Frankenstein is. Let us ask, why? Why not original IP? The recognizable IP no doubt appeals to non-RPG players … but, again, why? You gonna play this instead of How To Host A Murder? Ok. There’s not enough in this for a newbie DM to use. And if you’ve got an experienced DM then they are gonna barth before running this. It’s some weird middle ground choice of how much information to present, and how. 

The primary sin, here, is the retelling of the story. The characters in this essentially have no agency. Very little of their actions matter. Oh, what’s the Vampire adventure whos name I always forget? You know, the worst adventure of all time where the party doesn’t get to play, they just get to watch ancient vampire monologue at each other? This is that. This is not an adventure inspired by Frankensteinm it WILL be the Frankenstein story, all the way to the end and the designer WILL ensure that it works out that way. When the party first meets Victor he is behind a locked door and nothing, come hell of high water, will result in the party getting in through that door … because that’s not where the plot is yet. It would ruin the STORY. Yes, the fucking STORY. This is a fundamental misunderstanding in RPG design that many new designers have. The story is not the designers. The story is not the DM’s. The story is the players. I don’t give a fuck what shit you dream about at night, and how it might unfold. All that goes out the window when the wrecking crew meets it. You write the fucking thing with that in mind, and I don’t mean by preventing things from happenning.

Likewise our ending. There MUST be a showdown in Victors lab. The create and Dr MUST meet and fight, with flames. That moment MUST happen …the adventure dictates it. Possibilities in the decision tree that do not result in the few laid out by the designer are NOT allowed … and in this case we mean supported. “Oh, a designer can’t support everything Bryce …” “ Fuck you N00B”, I say, the designers job is to present information for the DM to riff on, in that way many outcomes CAN be supported. 

About 80% of the text is read-aloud. Specific read-aloud generally laid out in a somewhat bulletish manner in a Q/A format. So, if the party asks Frank about X then read this long section of monologue. Embedded in this is the personality of the speaker, the scene, and a lot of backstory. This works against effective running of the adventure. You can’t riff on a monologue. Ideally, you want a brief personality snippet, in a few words, and a general outline of information to be conveyed in a way that’s easy for the DM to locate and add their own flair to, reacting to it and changing it as the parties actions dictate. The format selected herein, along with the plot really force this adventure down a “watching the movie unfold” kind of thing. Which is not roleplaying. And fuck you, new readers, for thinking it is. Yes, there can be a great variety in how games are played, but taking away the agency of the party is not one of them.

So, it’s the most extreme railroad kind of plot-based adventure, combined with a format that actively works against riffing on and focuses on monologue. Pretty much exactly a late 90’s adventure and everything this blog rails against.

Finally, let me state that I get the generic/no stats thing and am supportive. But, man, throw in one page for some stats for a system or two.

This is $7 at QuestGivers.com, the designers site.

https://www.questgivers.com/product.php?p=38

Hello. This is the Bryce Emergency Review protocol. Bryce writes about three weeks ahead and has not written a new review in about three weeks, so this script has snagged an emergency review to post instead. Bryce has also been emailed and told to get back to work instead of engaging in whatever delight he is currently using to manage ennui.

Posted in Reviews | 27 Comments

Night of Blood and Teeth

Posted on December 4, 2021 by Bryce Lynch 
By Shane Lacey Hensley
Pinnacle Entertainment
Savage Worlds

It begins with a shipwreck on a cold, gray night in Lankhmar. The Temple of the Shark God has come to Lankhmar. They teach “the Way of Predation,” an extreme version of survival of the fittest. The city begins to take their message to heart. Tempers rise. Violence flares. And the city burns. Is the cult the cause of the troubles? Or is there something more ancient, more powerful at work? Your scoundrels, rogues, and heroes must find out before everything they know vanishes in…A Night of Blood and Teeth!

*Withering Sigh* Someone asked for this. I agreed, based on my recent good experience with Lankhmar. Then I realiazed it wasn’t DCC Lankhmar.

This 32 page adventure has five scenes in Lankhmar. It is boring. Lankhmar is boring. Mostly because the designer doesn’t really understand Lankhmar, even though they state in several times things that imply they do. As if the designer knows what they should do but are unable to do it.

Ok, so, shark cult brings a talisman to Lankhmar that brings bad luck. Scene 1: There’s a shipwreck. Scene 2: Some vignettes around town. Scene 3: Save the Beggar King Scene 4: Steal talisman from Shark Temple. Scene 5: Take a boat ride. Scene 3 is completely useless. The party is hired by the thieves guild to go save the beggar king from a mob that the shark cult has instigated. There is no real meaning to this encounter. It serves no purpose. It does not advance the adventure. Failing it does not throw up obstacles. It just wastes time. Scene 5 you take a boat ride to drop the talisman in to the sea. Of course, the shark cult arrives JUST. IN> TIME. as you perform the ritual. There’s no real reason for the party to go on the boat ride; you’re on some anti-shark cult ladies boat and shes the one doing the ritual. It’s a fucking meaningless scene that exists only to have a big final battle. Scene 1 has the party “saving” the survivors of a ship wreck. The hook is that some people come in to your bar, you learn of the shipwreck that is happening right now, and that they were merchants with a lot of gold. Thus you could be heroes that save people or just want to loot the still breathing bodies. This is the best you’re going to get in this adventure for Lankhmar attitude. “You could be a hero or for more larcenous, you could steal from the survivors as they fight the waves while drowning.” The rest of the shit is all do-gooder stuff. One of my favs is the beggar king thing; if you refuse to be hired then the DM is encourag to have the party at least go out to watch what is going on for this meaningless thing.

There’s no grit. There’s no dirt. There’s no squalor. There’s no larcenous thieves. Tis could just as well be written for a 5e game … and, I guess, that’s kind of what Savage Worlds is anyway, a popcorn reality, so, you know … why the fuck would you play this when there are other Lankhmar adaptions available?

It’s full of column long read-aloud in italics to convey information. Long italics sucks shit and is hard to read and no house style should contain it in 2021. Likewise, no long sections of monologue to convey information. You write the fucking adventure so it comes out over time. This is basic, basic design shit. And yet here we see Yet Another Publisher engaging in it. Fuck your editors and Fuck your house style. Make a fucking effort.

Mixed in to the long paragrapgh style encounter descriptions are, of, lets, see, a quarter page of backstory, in random places? Like, how does that advance the plot? How is that backstory actionable or leads to gaming moments? Oh, it doesn’t? THEN WHY THE FUCK IS IT IN THERE?! To meet pay per word requirements, no doubt. Look, I don’t know that’s true, but it is generally true in the industry, so, yeah, lets be evil and slap it on here also.

I don’t know. The temple raid is nor interesting. It gives the DM several options. A straight up fight, sneaking in, dressing up as acolytes, etc. But then it doesn’t really support those styles at all. It just says you can do it and goes in to the (boring and long) room keys. 

There is essentially no thought given to running this at the table; how the DM would use it, making it easy to scan and so on. I guess that’s not a surprise. Are there ANY major publishers that do this? I mean, basically, once you publish an RPG and it has ANY popularity at all then all you have to do is shovel out adventures and people will buy them. Why invest in making them good, or easy to use/run?

Why do you even license something like Lankhmar for Savage Worlds? I guess I know, money. I’m not even sure market demand counts here, unless it is induced. 

This is $6 at DriveThru. The preview is six pages. The last three show you the start of the first scene. Enjoy that shit. It’s the highlight of the adventure.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/247786/Lankhmar-A-Night-of-Blood-and-Teeth

Posted in Reviews | 5 Comments