The Drowning Temple

By Dan Homer
Myriad Heroes
Level 2

Something stirs beneath the holy temple, tremors rock its foundations and a mysterious evil rises within the dark waters threatening the consecrated halls. Heroes are called upon to save the site in a race against time.

This 22 page adventure uses six pages to describe six rooms. This appears to be by a designer who never made the jump to 4e, even though they should have, given their tactics heavy style. It’s got some wordiness issues here and there in the DM text, but the score of the descriptions are ok. Too bad absolutely nothing is going on except a hack.

Check out that cover man! Pretty fucking hot! And that’s entirely the reason I bought this. I’m sure not all Pathfinder/3.5 adventures are bad, right? And that cover IS pretty sweet!

The last sentence of the first paragraph of the adventure is “A race against time!” THis caused all of my wonder and optimism to fade away. This time A Race Against Time means that every 3d6 ROUNDS inside the ruined temple  there’s an earth tremor and you get to take 1d6 damage, save for half. So, you know, that kind of shit is loads of fun. Also, if you search rooms or explore “the upper temple” then there are one or two more purple worm things in the basement, instead of the one present if you just do a speedy job, I guess. Race against time. Pffft.

Ok, so, the race against time wasn’t exactly the FIRST sign that this was going to be a shit adventure. That was the page that showed the maps. Without keys. I fucking hate this shit Just put a fucking map key on it. Number the fucking thing. Does Heralds Hall come before or after Santum in your writings? How the fuck should I know. But i know that “2” comes before “3.” Fucking asshats. USE A KEY. Sure, there are times when you don’t need to use a key. Or, even, when you SHOULDNT use a key. But this isn’t one of them. Then to add to the fun, there are rooms to explore not shown on the map. Uh huh. The “Upper Temple” has a robing room and a study for you to explore. No map provided. Just a notation that behind a set of double doors i The Upper Temple, with the rooms described in a couple of paragraphs in the Vestibule (which is room one) entry. Why the fuck you do this man? You never seen an adventure before? You never used one before? I guess it doesn’t matter, the adventure is almost entirely linear. yeah me

Somehow you make your way to this temple, understanding that they need help. Outside you see one priestess. “Oh, help us brave adventurer!” shit goes down … you’re to go in and kill the shit and/or save the relics so they don’t get buried when the temple collapses from the earthquakes. In you go. She fails to mention the traps on the doors inside. Or the animated armour that attacks. Murder Hobos help those who help themselves and I’d like to note that the omission of information IS lying. But, whatever. I assume this is some kind of Cant Kill Intelligent Shit stuff that is going on. Once your past the animated armor you get to fight some vines. Exciting, I know! Then you go downstairs and fight a hag in a room partially flooded by water. She’s got a one-eyed salamander. That’s the cover art. Inside the room is a chasm, unseen because of the water, to the room below the reliquary that has the giant worms in it hat are eating the foundation, causing the earthquakes. The underwater chasm is a cute idea.

Whatever. It’s just one fight after another with long tactics sections. Sometimes you get to roll a skill check to get some kind of useless information. There’s nothing really of interest in terms of NPCs or exploration. 4e at its finest.

The descriptions for the rooms are ok.  “Pillars on either side of the chamber support a high, arched ceiling. Dust motes swirl amid shafts of light cast from tall windows, illuminating an altar with a pale, 12’ tall statue of a winged angel standing behind it.” That’s not too bad, and most of them fall in to that sort of thing. Of course, you also get monster and room background in the DM text. And the descriptions of things are thrown around in the room descriptions all willy nilly … who knows where you’ll find a pertinent description that you need/want!

22 pages for six rooms. That’s kind of rough even for Pathfinder. The sweetest revenge is a well lived life, and not having to pay for shit like this.

This is Pay What You Want at DriveThru with a suggested price of $1. The preview will show you a few rooms, so I guess it’s a decent preview.

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4 Responses to The Drowning Temple

  1. The Heretic says:

    Pathfinder, Bryce? Are you out of your gourd?!?

    Granted, I am a Heretic that plays Pathfinder, but everybody knows all the good adventures are found in the OSR!

  2. Bucaramanga says:

    Impressive. Very impressive. Now plz do some 5e

  3. Anonymous says:

    Bryce you make me happy when skies are gray

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