By Dan Collins, Paul Siegel
Wandering DMs
OSR
Levels 3-5
Long ago, a secretive cult promised salvation through sacred waters said to heal any affliction, wounds, curses, even madness. Pilgrims came from distant lands to seek their aid, hoping for a miracle beneath the cult’s solemn gaze. But the cult’s mercy was not freely given. Cloaked in silence and ritual, they judged each petitioner, granting grace only to the worthy. The rest were cast aside, their fates hidden beneath still waters and stone. Unicorn symbols adorned their vestments and sanctums-beacons of purity masking a far darker doctrine. The cult is gone now, or so the tales say. Yet the ruins remain, quiet but not empty. Some claim the waters still flow, and that the judgment of the faithful endures, waiting for those bold or desperate enough to seek it out.
This six page adventure uses two pages to describe eleven rooms in a small cavern complex that used to house a religious cult. It feels uninspired. As if encounters were placed just to have encounters. At least they kept it short. Ish.
Blah blah blah, old cult caves using a dyson map. This is an attempt to make a dungeon in about an hour on their podcast. I recall feeling like I didn’t hate an earlier entry so I wanted to see if, as things usually transpire, practice has made perfect. It has not. I’m going to go back after this review is finished and watch the episode where they write this dungeon. I think, perhaps, they may be tiring of the schtick?
The Logos map they are using is small but packs a decent punch. This is mostly because of a river running through it with a couple of bridges over it. That leaves space for hidden rooms on the map, off the river, and all sorts of bridge shenanigans. This does not come to pass. There IS one hidden room off of a river, which contains a 12HD water elemental. The two bridge spots are essentially ignored, with one receiving a rickety trap door in the middle of it. That is all. This is opportunity wasted and I’m quite disappointed.
There is a group of lizard men present in one room. A Carrion Crawler in another. I guess a couple of zombies? This is not exactly, I think, the height of interactivity. I guess there’s a trap and a secret door and a kind of trick to the water elemental, but, it just feels like the rooms are plain. It doesn’t feel like a cave, or a cult temple. There’s not real build up, in room after room of some sort of vibe.
“Former chamber of the cultist’s ogre guard” the kick off to one of the rooms tells us. That’s just padding and the designers should know better. In anther place we’re told, of the Carrion Crawlers nest “Its former victim lies slumped on the floor.” Beyond the repeated use of “former”, I must note just how prosaic the writing is. I want some bloated corpses, eyes bugged out, maggots from the cavities. Or dried husk, etc. Instead “former victim” with no other words, positive or negative, loot or danger. Again and again and again we see opportunities squandered. No springboard to interactivity. No real evocative description. Just something tossed in with seemingly minimal effort.
I will note the one place where things DO come together. It’s that fucking water elemental, the 12 HD one. Former guardian. Hiding in a little bend in the river that an uninquisitive party may never see because they must traverse the river instead of the cavern path. “a water elemental in the form of a mist that hovers low over the water. It will form into the shape of a surging unicorn and murder anyone that enters its watery domain.” In the form of a mist?! That’s fun! I’m sure everyone reading can understand the possibilities of that. And the writing! “And murder anyone who …” Ha! Not challenge. Not defend. Not any of those other bs words. MURDER. Fuck yeah man! You go! Not just a monster rolled and plopped in a room but a little thought went in to the mist and a little elan in the murder description.
Otherwise … it’s just a little staid. It doesn’t feel inspired, or as if someone enjoyed writing it.
This is $1 at DriveThru. The preview is not worthwhile. 🙁
And while I’m at it, I don’t understand the love for Brideshead. It’s just people monologuing at Mr Ryder for fifteen minutes until he responds with a terse monosyllabic phrase like “Oh, yes? And then they monologue at him for another twenty minutes.
12 HD water elemental in a 3rd level module, hoo-boy! Thanks for the review.