A War in the Valley

By Thom Wilson
ThrowiGames
D&D? No. Shadowdark :(
Level 1

Two tribes of humanoids are warring within a small valley. Goblins, having just arrived on the western side, are trying to push out the eastern cave-dwelling Kobolds, who have been in the valley for many months. Each clan has been bringing reinforcements in to assist in winning their little war. The Goblins are likely to prevail unless the Kobolds’ latest plan can succeed.

This thirty page adventure uses seventeen pages to describe about 22 rooms inside some humanoid caves. Badly done OSE style descriptions, a hodge-podge of monsters, and no real interactivity beyond stabbing. I think I’ve seen this film before, and I didn’t like the ending.

Let us wander through the DriveThru listings for D&D, OGL, Classic D&D. It’s been awhile. Ah, here’s one! It’s listed as D&D! Game on! Oh, wait, it’s not D&D. It’s Shadowdark. Which is a fine game, but has now attracted the attention of the masses … and their own conflicting intents. Like $$$$$$$$$$.

It’s a cave. There’s a big central-ish room with goblins on one side and kobolds on the other. The goblins have a drow mercenary. The Watcher in the Water is sitting in a pool outside the cave, worshipped by cultists that show up twice a day. I don’t know, maybe you can do a Yojimbo, but the adventure is NOT going to support you in those endeavors. Not in any way other than to say “the kobolds will give you a jewel for helping.” Fucking great. The DESIGNER should be DESIGNING the adventure. They should be doing DESIGN things. I can roll on a random fucking table and pretext pretext pretext. But, dumping shit in to the adventure to facilitate interesting play? That’s fucking DESIGN. I shall resist the temptation to rant more about this, but it’s just so frustrating. No one cares. Not anymore. Ever. Anything decent that comes out is just a fluke, to be treasured. Perhaps because what is defined as decent has shifted to keep up with the top 3% ?

Ok, so, no real design here. It’s just a bunch of shit thrown together., Oh, goblins. Oh, drow mercenary. Oh, kobolds. Oh. the water in the water. Oh, cultists. Like, wtf?! The watcher, ok, maybe. It’s a pool of water and sticking a monster in a pool of water is time honored tradition, and we all know I love a well done trope. It’s not well done here, but, hey, you can’t win if you don’t play. But the fucking cultists?!? LIke, why the fuck are they a part of this? They show up in exactly one place, the lake in the valley (where the water lives) that the caves are by. What possible reason is there for them to be there? “Well, I rolled a white dragon, so I guess it’s there …” Yeah? Ok, sure, I guess we come up with a reason?  I DO believe in random rolling as inspiration. But not to the point you’re ruled by it, and certainly not “as rolled.” Shit just seems to be thrown in here. 

Let’s talk descriptions. Lest I be accused of being an asshole, here is a good description from the adventure: “Murky, sludgy pool. Brown water with thick slime along top. Filthy rags. Stained cloths discarded poolside. Facedown. Murdered Goblin floating face down in rear of pool.” Murky and sludgy? Awesome! Brown water? Great! Thick slime on top? Cool! Filthy rags and stained clothing are both ok. And a body floating facedown in it? Fucking rock on my man! 

And, then, in other places, we get a terrible OSE style description. “Paid the price: two goblins lie dead in pools of blood on the floor.” Oh fuck off with that paid the price bullshit. 

In other places we get such exciting descriptions as “Short cave opening. Four feet in height and width. Skull pile. 1d20+5 skulls of goblins, kobolds, and humans nearby. Filth. Humanoid excrement, thrown out of the cave opening.” It’s just bullshit, this intro keyword bullshit and then the follow up detail. If done right I think it can be effective. But this isn’t done right, at all. 

Run around and stab shit. Very little to do beyond that. Bad descriptions. Just another adventure for the pulp mill.

This is $3 at DriveThru. The preview is six pages. You get to see a very small part of the first encounter, so, no way to make a purchasing determination from the preview. Which is the purpose of the preview. This means that the preview is a bad preview, not accomplishing the singular purpose of its existence. 

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/503255/a-war-in-the-valley?1892600