By DiegoZap and AndreaZap Dungeonismylab OSE Levels 4-7
Only recovering the ancient crown of the lands of Stakbourg will allow the legitimate heir to return to the throne: will the adventurers be able to steal the crown from the dark lord of shadows who has taken possession of it in his tower?
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This 66 page adventure features a dungeon with about 45 rooms. Rigged combat after rigged combat. A mass of text rarely seen in the world today. The intentionality in the face of wisdom is mind boggling.
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I come to you this morning a broken man. Once, full of delight and wonder at the world around me. Reveling in the joys of existence and all it contains. Now, an empty husk. A shell, contemplating the futility to our existence and the lack of meaning in the eternal march towards entropy.Pages of read-aloud. A first person narrative. Creatures that attack immediately upon entry … in the read-aloud. A near total emphasis on combat in a mostly linear dungeon. I shall let the adventure speak …
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“All DungeonisM Labs modules have a dual artistic channel available: black and white illustrations with a nineties style and the new avant-garde minimalist fantasy style of Dungeonism.”
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“Wandering monsters have been omitted as the creatures that inhabit the tower and dungeon are mostly charmed or trained to protect an area, or to have no choice in their actions due to the way the rooms are designed or how escape routes are structured.”
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“The creatures of the tower are also enchanted to resist hunger and have no desire to leave the dungeon due to the magic of Sovergauth: because of this all monsters radiate magic if it is detected through spells.”
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“When a weight exceeding 90 kg is exerted on one of the wooden protrusions the wooden beam must make a saving throw of 10 or more on a 20 dice with a penalty of -1 applied for every 5 kg more: for example if a warrior which weighs 100 kg with his equipment is on the beam the saving throw for it will be 12 or more on 1d20. Note that if a 70 kg warrior stands on one of the beams and tries to pull up a halfing, for example that weighs 30 kg, the weight exerted will actually be 100 kg. If one of the beams fails the saving throw it collapses, falling with everything on it and inflicting 1d6 hit points for every 3 meters of cumulative fall [text continues for what seems like almost a page more]”
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“A pang of unease passes through you when the self-propelled and frenetic pupil of one of those gestation cockpits freezes in your direction and without further movement, stares at you”
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“As you make your way through the window two squat humanoids burst out of the darkness lunging at you”
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“Immediately, part of the rock wall suddenly moves, forming a gigantic fist-shaped protuberance that crashes with all its force against the character! “
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“30. Orcs lair. Each orc in this area is armed with a long sword and a short bow with 24 arrows in a large quiver, all have Thac0 19 and are of Chaotic (Chaotic Evil) alignment. The armor class and hit points of each orc are detailed below. All orcs are evilly trained and move 30 feet each round. This is a key area for the defense of the dungeon, and due to the strategic placement of the cracks, the orcs are never caught by surprise by a visible enemy. Thanks to the sound emitted by the mushroom mass, they are also not surprised at all. Orcs cannot use shields while shooting arrows, characters attacking from room 29 suffer a -10 penalty to hit orcs due to the 90% cover granted by the loopholes.”
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I truly cannot accurately relate to you the depth of the issues here. As if every bad design choice in history was followed through on. The MASSIVE read-aloud. The first person narrative. The monsters that attack immediately. Explaining the simplest concepts ad-nauseum. Massive backstory text in the descriptions.
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This is $4 at DriveThru.There’s no preview. Suckaaaa!
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Is this the kind of work you’d like to do?
The, uh, super esoteric line repeated ad nauseum… yeah… maybe nix that part next time.
As alternate-reality Bryce would say: “it contributes nothing to the usability of the review, and just muddles everything up – if you want to be an avant-garde poet then write a book of avant-garde poetry, not a module review”
What you’ve been reviewing lately has been bringing you so little joy you ought to switch gears. Maybe read some more Gabor Lux. I have been sitting down for breakfast with his Cloister of the Frog-God and enjoying myself immensely.
I likewise have been reading the very same module over breakfast, and must says the day’s been going better than usual.
Man that orc room is so bad. Like, how do you write this? Why don’t you do a one liner stat block stating their AC, HD, thac0 etc? They are all the same dammit. You need 1 line, maybe 2 for all orcs. What the hell?
“All orcs are evilly trained and move 30 feet each round. This is a key area for the defense of the dungeon, and due to the strategic placement of the cracks, the orcs are never caught by surprise by a visible enemy. Thanks to the sound emitted by the mushroom mass, they are also not surprised at all.”
How does that get written?
“How does that get written?”
By writing evilly.
I would argue it is a result of being evilly trained in writing.
EASL strong with this one is.
I’m wondering why this didn’t get “Do not buy EVAR”
Must be AI generated … or the world is lost ?
No spooky fonts or red letters! Total purity of essence! Thank the spirit of the OSR that Bryce has stopped reading forbidden artpunk texts.
Bryce has been listening to EBM.
I approve.
Hey poor!