Tomb of the Lich Queen

By Don J Headrick
Grognard Games
OSRIC
Levels 9-12

For centuries the Tomb of the Lich Queen has lain hidden within a vast wasteland of cliffs, canyons and chasms. Now it has been found, and its legendary lost treasures have drawn adventurers from across the realms. Can you navigate deadly traps, fearsome guardians, and age-old puzzles to claim the prize?

This twelve page “death-trap” dungeon features eight rooms with a lich at the end. It’s just the usual low-effort dungeon, not particularly challenging, over hyped, and undelivered on. There are Grimtooth overtones, if Grimtooth was a pussy.

It’s eight linear rooms. Do you want a dungeon with eight linear rooms? At level twelve? There’s a map, but I’m not sure why one was even included. You go the only way you can go.  In through one door and out through another. Is that a level twelve adventure? Is that worth $6.50?

The marketing blurb says we have a legendary tomb and adventurers from across the realm. I love luv LUV Gone FIshin because of this! A steady stream of others fumbling about, royal currying favor and mud farmers full of pox and starving children desperate for coin. That’s fun! None of that happens here, of course. That would be fun. And imaginative. 

After several pages of backstory that are meaningless to the adventure you’re dumped in medias res in front of a door. Or, as the adventure puts it “You have penetrated the pyramid and braved its outer defenses defeating ancient guardians and have finally found the sarcophagus of the Lich Queen “ Fortunately, you are still at full strength in every way. Anyway,  “Suddenly gouts of green poisonous gas erupt behind you filling the passage, you have no choice but to hurry into the chamber.” We can see here several classic themes of bad adventure writing. There’s the use of second person writing throughout. This is the “you/your” phrasing. This is not appropriate. It is either a crutch for weak writing, which should be improved, or an attempt at immersive dramatic writing, which should not be done this way, if at all. Gouts of green poison gas! Oh no! The entire party is immune to poison, why would we flee? For some reason there’s this idea that you have to force the party. They are there to adventure. You don’t need to force them anywhere. Suddenly, being forced, doors slamming shut … you’re not writing a movie here. You’re providing a backdrop in which the players, through the party, along with DM are given a place to engage in play. They are, together, creating a narrative, in real time. DONT FUCKING FORCE IT! Shipwrecking the party may be ok for the first level one in a new campaign on an island. It’s not ok later on when the party has the means and desire to make decisions. That’s the fun. Making the decisions. “Beyond the moon door you see” I don’t have eyes you insensitive clod!

Rooms here average about a column or so each. This is for fairly basic rooms. Read-aloud over explains “Adorned with frescoes capturing the highlights of the Lich Queens depraved rule. There are scenes of her subjects bowing before her. Depictions of her pacts.” Frescoes, if we must, and then when the party examines them we can respond with detail from the DM an then the party will ask follow up questions and take actions and the DM will respond. This is the core RPG loop. Over-explaning in the read-aloud shows a basic lack of understanding for what an RPG game is. 

Writing is padded out “There appears to be no exit from this room.” Uh huh. Appears is almost never a word to use in adventure writing. It is or it isn’t, from the parties perspective. And from the DMs perspective they have perfect knows. Everything the party has ever experienced in a game “appears to be …” Stating this is just padding. There is little to no theming here.

From the interactivity standpoint we have this fine gem “If the players are having an easy go of it, throw some more Salamanders/Mephits or the Dragon at them.” The height of adventure writing. Lazy adventure writing. What’s the point here? It’s the designers job to write interesting encounters. That’s what we’re paying for. Or, you know, I guess just don’t.

The adventure is marketed as a death-trap dungeon. “ Bring 3 characters. You’ll need them.” The first room is a 1d6 pit trap with 1d6 damage from spikes at the bottom. There’s a gel cube in the bottom. I’m not sure this is a death trap. Much is made of the room slightly sloping down toward the pit and maneuvering in the dark toward the pit because of the slope. This sounds oddly specific for an eventuality that is unlikely? Room two is the classic rolling bounder trap in a hallway, with a pit to jump in to avoid it, with a 1d6 damage spike in it also. Again, not sure this is a death trap. And so it goes. Eventually there’s an efreet and maybe a dragon, along with two stone golems and a lich at the end. No one has any treasure, just the staff of power/wizardry at the end. Also, one room is empty/a recovery room. This isn’t even grimtooth levels of traps. A level nine, not to mention a level twelve, is going to have extensive magics available. I’m not sure a level twelve party would even encounter ANY of these rooms.

There is a secret door in a pit, which I always love. This is the non-obvious/’of course that’s where it is’ thing that is always a delight to see executed in adventures.. 

It’s just another low-effort dungeon. You have to really work these things. Every adventure ever in the history of the world is now available for a DM to run. When you’re producing something one must ask if this is possibly the best thing ever? If it’s not then what’s the point? You gotta pour yourself in to these to make them stand out. 

This is $6.50 at DriveThru. There is no preview. You need to offer a preview so a potential buyer can see a few rooms before they spend money on a purchase.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/574184/tomb-of-the-lich-queen?1892600