tenfootpole.org

By Ramsay McGregor
FantasyBound
D&D
Levels 2-3

The church in the village of Endmarsh have asked the adventurers to investigate dancing lights that flicker across the horizon of the sea. This phenomenon started at the same time as when fishermen had begun mysteriously disappearing, and the folk of Endmarsh started experiencing haunting dreams and whispering voices at night. The Graenician priests of the Endmarsh church will pay a handsome sum of 230 gold crowns to investigate and if possible, remove this supernatural incursion.

This six page adventure uses four pages to describe … six encounters? Long overwrought read-aloud, wall of text DM notes, plot, backstory, it’s got it all. The concept here should be, like, a quarter page in a larger dungeon.

Oh no! Lights on the horizon of the ocean! Missing fishermen! Strange dreams! Better have the church spend a bunch on some adventurers so they can take a rowboat out to investigate! Once out to see you hear some voices. You land on an island and see a puka chained to a cart. You go down some stairs in to a ruin and maybe fight some zombies. You go in to another room and maybe fight a revenant. And, a 50% chance, you might a 5hd witch. Then there’s three more boring rooms, one of which has a magic gate you can step through. Your weekly evening of torment is now over.

The read-alouds are long. People get bored listening to long read-aloud. Don’t put in long read-alouds. You get three, maybe four sentences tops. The first real adventure page of this is taken up by almost a column or so of read-aloud. The read-aloud is in italics. Don’t do that. Italics, or any weird ass font, is hard on the eyes. You lose your place. It’s a cognitive burden. You can use italics to highlight a word or two, but if you want to offset a decent chunk of text, like read-aloud, then use another method. Shade it. Use white space. Th read-aloud over reveals information. A core feature of an RPG is the back and forth between the players and the DM. How they ask questions and interact with the game world and then the DM responds to that. If your read-aloud over reveals information then you are working against that model. When you tell us, in the read-aloud, what the etching on the inside of the cauldon says then you prevent the players from walking over to the cauldon, the DM describing it. The players examining the cauldron and the DM describing it, and so on. Don’t over reveal in your read-aloud. The read-aloud is very second person focused. “You feel …” or “You find yourself …” This is a symptom of poor writing. The designer is trying to tell the party hat to think. Instead, a better practice is to describe what is going on in way that makes the party think “oh, i feel sad/angry/whatever.” Besides, it seldom takes in to account the fact that the party is invisible, dig through the top of the room with shovels, or some other, now destroyed, implicit assumption that the designer has made. 

The text of the adventure is overwrought. “You feel the sudden pressure of the ocean against this unnatural island as you continue downwards until at last, after a minute, you feel yourself touch the base of this underground ruin” You don’t need this. This focus on feeling. Calling it an unnatural island. Until at last. This is all text that tends to the purple side of prose. Again, we’re trying to make the players think “man, this island is unnatural!” not TELL them that the island is unnatural. You know, showing instead of telling. 

There’s also this tendency to dump in awkward wording. At the end of the zombie room encounter the text tells us “The witch has since placed a terrible spell on the bodies.” This is referring to, I’m 90% sure, the fact that the bodies are now zombies. And, yet, its … trivia? Padding? Or when the party arrives on the beach of the island the text eventually gets around to telling us “There is nothing of value on the coast besides a silver bracelet worth 60 silver crowns.” This is an awkward way of saying there’s a bracelet on the beach. It would have been far, far better to say its sticking out of the sand, or catching a glint of sun or something instead of saying There is nothing on the coast except.” And, then, the famous if/then statements appear. “IF the adventurers open the party.” Which I’m pretty sure is supposed to be IF the party opens the chest, but whatever. Samesies. No if/then statements in adventures. That’s padding. “If they do, the GM will read or show them the following …” 

There’s no real interactivity. The last room has a teleport gate with a book in a different room telling you how to operate it. You might fight some zombies or a revenant. The main baddie, the witch/necromancer, only has a 50% chance of actually showing up in the adventure. That might be fine for longer term play, I guess? But, also, I’m not sure anything takes place here. Talk to the pooka, I guess. Free some air spirits. I don’t know. “ 

There’s not really anything here of any interest.

This is Pay What You Want at DriveThru with a suggested price of $1. There’s no preview but it’s Pay What you Want, so, there/s that.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/496605/moss-stone-steel-the-whispering-lights?1892600

By Mr. Pilgrim Tomes
Self Published
OSE
Levels 2-3

The Malatir tribe has escaped the goblin hordes that invaded their home after a catastrophic defeat. They have since found refuge in a narrow canyon, occupying some ancient ruins. With them, they have brought six wyvern cubs, a holy creature to the Malatir. However, the canyon is not empty. On the opposite end of the canyon a group of snake-men have occupied an old dam where they conduct blood rituals and sacrifices to their ancient god, the Anathema. Now the Malatir are in dire straits, too weak to defend themselves and with the perfect sacrifice for the Anathema in their home. Without help the Malatir are destined to vanish in the throes of a gruesome ritual, their souls lost to an horrid god hunger.

This eleven page adventure uses four pages to describe eleven rooms in a small complex full of yuan-ti. Simplistic rooms with little interactivity beyond stabbing the snakeman in the room. The boring snakemen in the room.

Ohs Nos! The hunter gatherer tribe had three people kidnapped by the snakemen! If you go save them then they will give you a rope! I swear to fucking god. This is the most boring tribe ever. You get nothing. They are a gunter gatherer tribe and they have five little wyverns. That’s all you get to work with. And I’m not fucking around here, there is no other information to work with. Nothing. No chief. No matriarchal society. Nothing else. This has got to be one of the thinnest pretexts I’ve ever seen. Again, you don’t need a fucking hook, but when the point of the adventure is to save the fucking people then one might expect that you interact with the fucking people a bit and thusly there might be just the brest shed of information to help the DM bring that to life. But no.

The descriptions here are frustrating. We don’t get the steaming jungle motif frequent with snake men. Instead they are hold up in a dam. And that’s ok, we don’t have to trope it out. But, also, the dam descriptions don’t really work for me. We get occasional references to “machinery” in some of the rooms, but no real evocative descriptions of them. “A giant broken machine injected with bronze tubes lies motionless on the northern wall, a once powerful turbine, now useless.” And that’s a good one, relatively speaking. The descriptions repeat items from the map, sometimes incorrectly referring to the map features, and there is the occasional reference to room purpose that does nothing but pad out the description with no impact, such as “The room is used to extract information, screams and organs from the snakemen’s captives, a procedure done by their leader Ssilviss.” The prison tells us “This small room with barred doors houses

the snakemen’s prisoners awaiting the ritual. They are beaten up and cannot fight, but are still conscious” No real squalor or anything else that could be evocative. 

Interactivity is limited to stabbing snakemen and occasionally opening a valve to flood a room/complex. At one point we’ve got a lookout in the text, buried deep inside a description, that shold be able to se ethe party approaching the dam, but no real indication hes there WHEN the party is approaching, or any order of battle which would reflect the nakemen reacting to the party, in that case or any other. I might note, also, that the bestiary gives us the stats for “snakemen” and then in that description gives us a one liner that modifies them for purebloods … while there are no snakemen, just purebloods in the adventure. And no mention at all of the “thralls” that sometimes inhabit the rooms, either in stat, description or how they react. The dam, proper, with its turbines … does nothing? 

Simplistic descriptions that are not very evocative and basic interactivity. It’s a raid mission, not exploratory, so some of that is ok. But it just seems like there be so much more to support that type of adventure. Lookouts, reactions, some intrigue, maybe? A basic adventure that isn’t really making a lot of mistakes, but also isn’t really doing anything too interesting.

This is Pay What You Want at DriveThru with a suggested price of $1.46. The preview is four pages and the last page shows you two of the, quite basic, rooms. So, decent preview.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/495235/the-snake-s-nest?1892600

By Chris Bissette
Self Published
A Dungeon Game
Levels 1-3

Beneath a desolate moor lies an enigmatic maze, its twisted corridors teeming with treacherous traps and remnants of ill-fated adventurers who dared to tread its path. The Moss Mother guards her home against all intruders, but there are great rewards to be had for those who brave her hallways. Immerse yourself in a world of rot, rust, and rebirth, where the echoes of buried legends stalk your every move.

This 31 page adventure presents a maze with about thirty rooms in it. It leans heavily toward minimalism, in a bad way, with a few encounters that punch things up a bit. A slow affair, it feels like the tedium of a maze inflicted on the party.

Good Literature makes you feel something. Hence my rotting leg of lamb story. We empathize. Or, at least we should. But, what if the feelings we experience are unpleasant? What then? We can be excused for only reading Thieves World from then on, I suppose, being creatures of free will. And, what of an adventure? If I don’t have fun. If I am instead confronted simply with tedium. Am I allowed to say, forever and ever, that I don’t like D&D? The adventure, as a technical document. Meant to help the DM run the game. To facilitate the DM facilitating the players having fun. Inspiring the DM, but in a way that makes it easy for them. And providing the elements for the players to interact with so they can have fun. We ignore outside conditions, after all, a good DM could …

There are parts of this adventure that do a good job conveying the mood of a scene or providing an interesting environment. You can meet a formed adventurer, in town, missing an eye and both legs from the knee down. Ouchies! That’s fun! And, there is an occasional decent room description. “Long chains hang from the ceiling and trail across the ground, hundreds of them, so many that it’s impossible to make out details of the dimensions of the room or whether there are other exits.” or maybe “The gibbering head of a bearded man mounted on a barbed spear thrust into the iron floor with abominable force. His ribs rest on the floor, forming a cage around the base of the spear in which his lungs still flutter and his heart” These are, I think the best examples. And that last one a very good description. Gibberring. Bearded. Barbed. The rib cage on the floor, rotted away. That paints a magnificent picture of a scene. That’s exactly what a description should do! We get a real sense of the place. We feel something. And that allows th DM to then communicate that onward and riff on it to the players.

But alas, these are few and far between. Nothing reaches the heights of that spear scene. There are a couple of other rooms, maybe three others, with descriptions that, I would assert, actually exist. The rest of the room descriptions either do not exist or are so minimal so as to be little more than Empty Room. “Thick chains hang from hooks in the ceiling. They creak loudly if disturbed.”

And this is a problem. The rooms have little int he way of description. And little in the way of meaningful interactivity. We get traps in some of them, and, I think, four rooms with creature sin them? Although one of them has 1HD. So. You know. Does that count?  Other rooms are just … weird? A room with talking gargoyles that can’t otherwise move and taunt the players. A room with a dude hiding out on a platform, with no other use to him. It feels … hollow? Empty? Why is that encounter there? Certainly, not every encounter needs a reason, but some of them should make sense sense. Or fit in, perhaps? And I’m not sure that a lot of these contribute. 

The overall effect here is one of tedium. There’s just not much going on. Only, like, three or four rooms have creatures? And I’m not saying that hacking is the end all be all, but I’m looking for SOMETHING to interact with on a meaningful level. A few traps, sure. But you wander about the maze. And, eventually, the high HD dragon shows up and you need to RUN. (I note that I think FEAR/Running is a sure path to a TPK in a dungeon. Fleeing in to the unknown is a sure fire way to end up dead in an exploratory dungeon.) I get that there is supposed to be a stalked through the dungeon thing going on, but the speed of the dragon means that you have to run, not retreat, and running leads to death. The problem is that running, in this dungeon, is not a fail state. It’s just a quirk of the wanderer chart. That you can’t avoid BECAUSE ITS A MAZE.

I note two other points. That spear in that description? You can be killed by violence while wielding it. Holy shit! And, then, at the end, we get some advice that the magic lup of metal at the end of the adventure “if you intend to continue your campaign you may decide that

selling it requires finding a buyer. You may also wish to consider the ramifications on your campaign world of a sudden influx of highly toxic material into local economies, and how this might impact future sessions.” That’s not too bad, as advice goes. But a couple of specific examples would have been better. Specificity is always better. Not verbose, but specific. 

So, a couple of highlights but essentially tedium that has the deck stacked against you. 

This is 5 pounds at itch. You’ll be getting no preview, so SUCK IT L0SERS!

https://loottheroom.itch.io/moss-mother

By Eduardo Raffo Carozzi
Breeding Calamities
Generic/Universal

Year after year, the monks meditate and pray with the desire to get closer to enlightenment. They boast of having abandoned the desires of this material world, of being one with the Universe, however, no one is beyond temptation and many times the most devout are the first to be corrupted.

This thirty page outline is trying to convey the hunt for a demonic beast in a small village and with their growing anxiety and panic. It’s way too wordy for what it is with not nearly enough gameable assistance. Great NPC’s though.

On the first page the adventure tells us “This is just the sketch of the adventure …” Well, fuck me man. I guess if I knew that going in to this I MIGHT have still purchased it. I do have an academic interest in adventure sketches; enough information to get the thing going but far fewer pages than a traditional adventure. But, also, I thought I was buying an adventure. I’m not buying an adventure though, as I learned. That makes me sad. It makes me feel like I’ve been cheated. I did NOT want the clearcoat. I feel like going on a diatribe about this. I will save everyone the explicit insight and just say that the buyer should know what they are getting.

Ok, so, a monk is sick. The party comes up to the monastery to help and the dude implodes. Or escapes to the village and implodes. Either way, a monster now stalks the village at night killing people a night.The party gotta stop it. Errr…. Should stop it? Could stop it? 

There are two good parts to the adventure. The designer knows they are the good parts. They ARE what the adventure is. The core of it. The first is the list of village NPC’s. It’s a good list. An entry or so takes a full page. Others take columns. Others are a paragraph or two. So, yes, the writing is WAYYYYYYY too long. (In a small fucking font that looks like wall of fucking text. Jesus man, give a dude a break!) And the adventure is in DESPERATE need to a summary sheet for the NPC’s. The name, occupation, age, relationships, secrets. Somehting like that, so I can look at one page (NOT IN A SMALL FUCKING FONT!) and work them in the on-fly social interactions in the village as the game progresses. But man oh man oh man, the NPC’s are good. The dollmaker digs up a body every couple of years and has a basement full of zombies that he makes. He’s going to be a strong ally of the party in their hunt for The Beast. No, seriously. He is. He’s devoted to the village. The Reeve is cooking the books and has been sleeping with the local milkmaid. If she dies then he goes fucking nuts, in a small way, rounding up all of the young men and going on a vengeance hunt for the Beath, making a lot of mistakes in his hubris/anger. That’s fucking good. That’s real life. And the hits just keep coming and coming. Including a farmer with good yields, five kids, a young and beautiful wife who cooks well. “He is living his best life” the text tells us. Oh man, the ways I could use that! The NPCs work with the adventure their shit makes sense IN THE CONTEXT OF THE ADVENTURE. It’s not just random trivia, it’s things that can help enrich the adventure. 

The other nice part is a small, three event, section. There’s a mechanic called VIllage Hive Mind, or some such, which basically tracks the mood in the village. As people die their IMP score is subtracted from a starting total. More important, liked NPCs subtract more. When it reaches a certain level then people start a mass exodus from town. When it gets still lower then some people start to think they should worship the Beast,leading to a confrontation and death in the town square. The third and last event is The Rapture, where they kind of go buts. They start self sacrificing themselves to The Best, or “the people begin to voluntary surrender themselves to the Beast, worshiping it like some kind of god and letting the monster absorb them as it evolves into its Abyssal Phase.” Sweet! I fucking love it! Again, mirroring a kind of dark human nature in extreme pressure trope. Alas, these event section are quite short, just a couple of sentences each. 

That is, essentially, the adventure. There are no real maps of the monastery. Or the village. Or any events to speak of. No kills. And while there’s quite the focus on the ecology of the monster there is not a whole lot on how to use it during play. 

The designer recognizes, correctly, that the adventure they are building is a kind of paranoid monster hunt where the creature also stalks the villagers. That is a social adventure and the designer knows that. The NPCs would be the heart of that, the designer recognizes that and a substantial focus, via page count, is there. The second support, though, would be the events. And while there is that very basic outline, that could use a great deal of supplementing. More kills. More vignettes and so on. Somehting for the DM to riff more on. SHort, just a couple of sentences each, but there for the DM to sprinkle in. Do you need maps? Well, no, not really. Not very good ones anyway, like an exploratory map. But, also, having a map of the monastery and village, just a rough one, not really keyed much, would have helped a lot also. 

It’s very hard for me to get over the small font and extreme number of words that is taken to describe almost everything. Those three events, of just a couple of sentences each, that’s about the right size for what it is. You could get away with a few more sentences there, maybe. But, other than that, almost every entry in this just drones on and on and on, with the smaller font making it even harder to scan the text for the important details. The large page count here is almost entirely wasted. Yeah, there’s a hunt wandering monsters in the wilderness so you can craft minigame. And that’s ok also. But the main monster text focuses on the wrong things about the monster. Ponderous, I guess. The text is ponderous. The phrasings and vocabulary choices are off just a bit, which may be an EASL issue,  but that’s not really a problem. The ponderousness of the verbosity. That’s the issue.

Reference sheet for NPC’s. More events/kills/etc. A couple of throw-away maps. Bonus points if they have some features that enable some interesting play. Cut the word count drastically and pump up the font. 

I leave it as am exercise for the reader if generic/universal is appropriate or if you just stat shit for D&D and be donet with it.

This is Pay What You Want at DriveThru with a suggested price of $5. No preview, but, with PWYW you can look at the entire thing. 

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/445024/killing-grounds?1892600

By Realm Diver
Self Published
BECMI
Levels 4-6

You opened the chest? You shouldn’t have opened the chest! You are magically transported to a ruined temple surrounded by vast desert. A dragon, driven mad by the slaying of her mate and brood, lies between you and a wish-granting treasure that could mean your salvation, or spell your doom…

This 24 page adventure uses about thirteen pages to describe a dungeon with about 35 rooms. It’s got a rather complex situation going on in it that seems inconsistent with its size and difficulty. I’m not a fan of the long-winded and writing to be slogged though, but, also, there’s something going on here. Just not enough for me to to deal with it.

I’m having a hard time with this one. I think I can tell that there is something going on here, but I’m so off-put by the presentation and writing that I want to throw up a little in my mouth. WHich does seem overly harsh. But, there it is. Anyway, I said there was a lot going on …

We’re going to ignore the premise. You find a treasure chest and open it and find a jewel buried in some sand and if you touch it then the sand swirls around you and you’re all transported to this place in the desert. There’s an abandoned campsite and a mesa with a couple of giant statues standing in front of a crack in the mesa wall. So, right, we’re ignoring that. Yes, treasure chest adventure, living room, blah blah blah, hook. Let’s instead focus on some on the weirdly high number of things going on here for a dungeon with 35 rooms. We’ve got the lizardmen-like tribe in this temple complex. Then we’ve got the EHP lizardman shaman, who is raising humanoids from the dead with her magic staff. We’ve got the former leader of the tribe, under house arrest and looking to regain power, pretty please Mr adventurer. Let’s see, we’ve got a thief raiding the temple. We’ve got the undead former high priest of the temple who really thinks the lesser evil here is getting the party to cleanse the temple of most of those folks. ANOTHER undead dude seems to be full of ennui. The Azure Guard, the undead dudes raised by the EHP, are bopping about. And then there’s the crazy dragon whose mate and hatchlings are dead, in the final room. Azure? Yup. Worshiped by the lizardman dudes? Yup. Stuck in that room? Yup.

While there is  bit of an order of battle for the evil lizardman faction, and the house-arrest queen has some deets, mostly the people with plans are just sitting in their rooms waiting. Including the dragon. This is kind of disappointing. In addition to everyone listed there are also a few other things going here, ghosts to talk to and so on, almost all of which give you some kind of clue as to SOMETHING in the adventure. What’s a little off putting here, though, is the relative size of the adventure. It’s only 35 rooms, and in a typical dungeon room format. And that’s A LOT of intrigue for 35 rooms. The tightness of space isn’t going to allow for a lot of room to sneak about, infiltrate and so on, I think. There IS a secondary entrance to the tomb, that takes you to quite a few of the lizardman people to interact with, so, maybe thats the “correct” way to play? It’s just hard. There are a lot of high HD enemies here and we’re playing BASIC. Like a bunch of 3HD lizardmen riding 5HD firebreathing (3d6) firedrakes. It’s just rough, in such a compressed area. I guess your going to have to really sneak about. 

Up until now, in the review, you might be thinking this is a relatively decent adventure. And it might actually be one. And then I touch on the writing. I hate it. It’s got a format its using and its own style and I fucking hate both of them. It’s probably just me. But I don’t know that I care; it was also my money. We’re going to ignore that the read-aoud is in some fucked up font that you can’t actually read. There’s only, like, two sections of read-aloud in the adventure anyway. Still, I hate it.

I’ve taken another long break. I still hate it and I still don’t really know. The writing style is not particularly evocative, at all. And I don’t think it’s trying to be, at all. I guess, it’s fact based? And I don’t like that? A typical description might read: “This room has a 5’ pit in it to house giant oil beetles the Sandscales farm for their oil and meat. The beetles are fed on whatever dead or rotting matter the Sandscales accumulate, and are quite content to stay in the pit. They will certainly see anything that enters the pit as fair game to eat, however. There is a 40% chance there is a Sandscale male in here on the raised floor, dumping slop into the pit.” That room description isn’t really saying anything. There’s a lot of explaining why things are the way they are, but it’s not really anything other tan a 5’ pit with beetles in it and maybe a lizardman. But it’s long, isn’t it? And that’s pretty typical. A lot of the rooms, most, I’d guess, run to half a column of text. It’s got this bullet point style and I think the first one is usually a general overview of the room with the rest following up on that. But, also, this means a lot of the rooms are four or more paragraphs. And padded out, wordy, verbose, mostly for no reason at all. It if could take a sentence then it takes three. I feel, continually, like I’m fighting the text to get something out of it. “Prison Cells: Whatever these rooms used to be, the Sandscales have repurposed them as a prison” Yup, that’s why the room name is Prison Cells.That first sentence does nothing but repeat that this is a prison. That’s the purpose of the room title, to frame what’s to come. And then you frame it again. I think we all know by now that I’m not looking for an ultra minimal room description, but, also, I fucking HATE the padded out shit. This isn’t an ethnographic exploration of the lizardman takeover of a desert temple. We’re playing fucking D&D tonight and I’m not using a highlighter to do the work that the editor should have done. Oh, wait, no editor. Not that the fucking copyeditor shit that passes for editing would have helped anyway. Man, I AM grumpy this morning. “This room has the appearance of a barracks.” No. Never. It IS a barracks or is not. That goes for the DM text and that goes for players text. You’re just padding the fucking thing out. 

There’s a 9HD undead philosopher in this. He summons four 1 HD blobs to defend himself. “He will not defend himself, but will cackle madly and disappear if destroyed.” A commentary on the futility of modernism since the death of God? I didn’t expect to see that in a BECMI adventure. 

I don’t like this. I accept that there could be an adventure in here. I think it needs a larger map and a reworking of the various areas in to something that might be more supportive of faction play. In terms of design, that’s the flaw here. But, also, this thing needs a complete reworking of the text. There is no evocative writing to cement the room for a DM to effectively riff from. And they are padded out to hell and back, making digging though the text a chore. 

This is $5 at DriveThru. The preview is eight pages and shows you mostly padding. The last two pages describe the outside of the temple complex and part f the first two rooms. Those last two are what you can expect from the text, especially that last one.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/494473/madness-of-the-azure-queen-becmi?1892600

By Andrea Tupac Mollica
Hellwinter Forge of Wonders
OSE
Levels 4-6

The wizard Azarhorn has hired you to escort him to the Cenotaph of the Forlorn God, where a fabulous treasure awaits you. You heard something about the sinister fame surrounding the place, but the wizard promised you a good reward and all the riches you can plunder: enough to dismiss all doubts and fears. You just arrived at the village of Greyven, nothing more than a bunch of stone houses a few miles away from your final destination. You have the time to supply; then you’ll have to leave for the Cenotaph and the perils awaiting you inside.

This forty page adventure uses about sixteen pages to describe about seventeen rooms in a dungeon/prison. Rooms are one trick challenge rooms, with generic tropes done generically and an uninspiring, but short, writing style. At least there’s that.

First, the good. The rooms descriptions are relatively terse. There is a decent amount of DM text for each room, but, also, for something like this I think it could be considered terse. We’re no longer in the days of just noting pit traps on the map, so a short paragraph about one seems to be the standard.  And, the paragraphs are focused on the effects of the rooms in a kind of bullet point style, once major thing per point, so, it doesn’t seem like the text, either DM text or room read aloud, is too burdensome. This, alone, means that I don’t hate this adventure. Also, the adventure starts with you passing through a little village and there’s a body hanging from a gallows in the middle of the village square. Groovy! That’s a fun bit of description! It’s got some game effect, cutting off it’s pinkies to use to open doors per some folklore, bt, still, it’s a nice touch anyway. That’s exactly the kind of thing you might put in to set the mood for a disaster to follow or some such. There’s one more nice little bit, and it’s in the village also. The villagers have a rumor/legend about The Hill Horror that wander the hills. That’s what they call it, The Hill Horror. That’s the way legends and rumors work! Name the thing. The troll under the bridge should be Ol Man Hickory. The bandits should be Fat Mamma Cass’ Boys. I love it! Oh, one more bit of finery in this adventure: at one point in the wilderness the party gets a better die roll if they have a ranger “or a stray dog is with them.” That’s some OSR D&D playing right there! Got a dog? It’s gonna help you out. A free-wheeling kind of play, in which mechanics are not tied, via the books, to every little thing but circumstances make a difference. Make the case why you don’t need to roll the dice! Get a dog. Have a DM that thinks about what is going on rather than just looking up rules!

Which is not at all to say that I think this is a good adventure. It is, at most, an adventure that does not offend too much. I did find myself giving withering sigh after withering sigh, Sideshow Bob style.

First, we’ve got an escort mission. You’re escorting Mr Wizzo in to the dungeon. How fun. Then, of course, Mr Wizzo doesn’t help you at all during the adventure. What fun. “He considers it a test to see if he chose the right people to escort him in to the dungeon.” What fun. And then in the last room of the dungeon he turns on you to kill you. What fun. Never say that one coming. You know why adventurers don’t have families and loved ones? Because the shitty DM trauma is real. Anyway, go ahead, take your time, explore the dungeon. But …”After one month, all the Forlorn God dungeon’s perils reset, and all the creatures revive with full HP” What fun. I just can’t fucking stand of that shit. Why are we even playing D&D? It’s all fucking bad. It takes the agency out of the players hands. Just watch a fucking movie or roll one die as a party and have the DM narrate what happens for the next four hours. loathe Loathe LOATHE.

The map is an uninteresting affair, with no real thought behind it. The read-aloud can be column length in some places, and terse in others. But t also is in an annoying fucking font that is hard to read. It’s beyond me why people still do this. DId no one tell you this? That, as the DM, it was hard to read the fucking font? No? Because you didn’t give it to someone to run? 

And the room descriptions. Ug. Some of them are short and terse. “NARROW AND UNEVEN STEPS DESCEND INTO THE DARK BELLY OF THE HILL, FROM WHICH A FETID AND STALE AIR EXUDES.” I’m down for some fetid and stale air exuding from the dungeon. But when we also get shit like “THIS COLD ROOM IS BARE EXCEPT FOR THE REALISTIC STATUES OF six war mastiffs. AN UNKNOWN HAND PORTRAYED THE BEASTS IN VARIOUS POSITIONS.” An unknown hand? Really? It’s all in that weird narrator style, or stage direction style, maybe. “A ghostly figure COVERED IN A RAGGED BLACK ROBE SITS IN FRONT OF A TABLE WITH eleven mouse skulls. WITH A BOOMING, EERIE VOICE, THE FIGURE INTRODUCES ITSELF  AS THE Skullmaster AND INVITES THE CHARACTERS TO CHALLENGE IT TO A GAME OF INTELLIGENCE AND STRATEGY” What the fuck is that about? Abstracted? Generalized? I have no words to even describe that writing style and its blunder. 

Interactivity is simplistic. Basically, in each room you face a challenge. Maybe a pit trap or something. And you have to collect all of the keys and use them to open various doors, etc. In most rooms you have to be quiet or The Jailer shows up. It’s not clear to me how he gets from level one of the dungeon to level two, since the entrance is under a lake you have to drain. But, anyway, he shows up if you’re not quiet. We get “challenges” like “, the doors magically close, and all the lights, including the magical ones, snuff out” and then the ink demon attacks. Of course. Fucking doors slamming and your lights going out. Lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame  lame lame lame  lame lame lame  lame lame lame  lame lame lame  lame lame lame  lame lame lame  lame lame lame  lame lame lame  lame lame lame  lame lame lame  lame lame lame  lame lame lame  lame lame lame  lame lame lame. Backstory that doesn’t make a difference in the adventure. The Jailer was the former blah blah blah” but, of course, doesn’t mean anything since he can’t remember anything and even if he did it wouldn’t impact the adventure you’re on. 

Uninteresting rooms. Generic tropes done generically. Plot points worthy of the worst 5e dreck. That all detracts from the better parts of the adventure, which are few and far between. And yet I don’t hate this. At least the rooms are short. I’d drink myself to oblivious if I had to run this, but I could run it.

This is $3 at DriveThru. There’s no real preview. There is a sample of one dungeon page but you can’t really read it. Sadz 🙁

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/494628/raiders-of-the-forlorn-god?1892600

Level 13 - The Caverns of Slime
By Alex Schroeder, Lior Wehrli, Chris Roberts
Level 8+

The waterfall from the mushroom forest above passes through this area of powerful myconial
magic. The fungi undulate to a silent music, while phosphorous lights and dancing glow-bugs illuminate dancing shrooms and glistening towers of fungal growth on the steep walls.

This 23 page adventure details level thirteen of The Darkness Beneath and it’s … eleven major areas? It is a magnificent framework in which to die, and is perhaps most similar in play style to D3. A glorious jumble that is all I ever want in my life to be happy.

There’s an overview of the level up front which thankfully details what a typical jaunt in to the Caverns of Slime might look like. Briefly, you descent the Fungal Fall and travel through the Shroom Lords lands to the Spider City. From their you gain river travel on the River Styx, visiting the Bone Crusher and its roaming ghouls and two Panzerships. Perhaps diverting to the Prison of Dis and past the Shark Den (having orcs riding flying sharks …) you can hit up the wizard Gar at his titular Vats of Gar, who can maybe get you out of this place. But you’ll need to get past the Bubbling Stench to the Damn of Ix to disable its blocking power. Past the Eternal Swamp is the passage to the Ooze Lord (feature a 99 foot tall statue …) and, therein, the black door to the last level. You follow all of that? Essentially we have the party stuck on the level and eventually learning what they need to do to get off of it. They travel around to various areas learning things and making friends and enemies until the epic assault, via Ajax, on Mongo.

Essentially, each of those places I mentioned is a little … encounter area? A little place to have an adventure? A little town with shit going down in it? I’m not sure how to describe it. You end up at place X. You poke around, find some shit out, pick up some things or people. Get in to a greater situation going on there and somehow navigate it to end up getting what you want. I’m not sure I would characterize this as a fetch quest or gathering the six parts to the Key of Time. It’s a great big place that you can wander around in a non-linear fashion (although linearly makes sense) and do shit, eventually with the goal of escaping. I don’t know. Nothing I’m describing here is helping, is it?

The Spider City opens wilth a little red-aloud, and then covers some themes for this area for the DM to work with: Darkness, spiders, silver lights, ropes, webs, living on the ceiling. Some bullet points on more theme-like things, like occasional ropes reaching down to the cave floor or the floor being covered with broken bones and husks. Then some typical spider names, a little overview of the area, and a longer section covering events that can happen in the city. This takes up a page and is weird as all fuck. And this is a friendly area.

Everything here is familiar yet bizarre. Like that first level of Darkness Beneath but amped up. Crocodiles, Spiders, Orcs, but amped up and twisted. You could, i suspect, run an entire campaign on this level, or something close to it? That’s no doubt hyperbole, but it feels like it. The bandersnatch fits in well here, and the rolling ceiling fireball maybe just a little too mundane.

An open ended adventuring area with greater goals than looting the dungeon? If each of these was a separate kingdom, above ground, and the party needed to achieve some goal, using them as resources, that might cover this place? But it’s far far weirder. Without, I think, going in to gonzo territory. Whatever that is. I’m gonna sleep with this one under my pillow, even though you’re gonna have to bring every ounce of DMing chops to it. It could, not doubt, be organized and described better. And I don’t give a fuck. It’s magnificent.

The Catacombs under Old Samora
By Phillip H.
Levels 1-3

Generations ago, they were home to a small circle of acolytes that worshipped the powers
of the underworld, Hades foremost among them. Affluent citizens had their dead interred here and the priests performed burial rites and tended graves. With the decline of the city, the place was eventually abandoned and largely forgotten

This ten page adventure details about 45 rooms in some old catacombs/funerary complex. A solid contender and something I’d be happy to run as a drop in.

Ah, Ye Olde Levels 1-3. That’s a rough market. Everyone and their brother has dumped an adventure out for that level. Your adventure competes with past classics, current classics, and things released that the fuckwits don’t yet recognize as classics. This is a tight adventure/dungeon. And I’m reviewing it right after an issue of Ultan …

Catacombs under a slum section of a city, an old mausoleum entrance. Not exactly a secret but not well known either. Inside are graves, prep rooms, some places for the (now gone) priests to maintain the place. And, of course, an evil priest who likes to stretch his legs and visit the place when he needs a short break from his studying about sacrificing babies. Oh, and the drug addicts. That is one of my favorite parts of this. I mean lots of it are pretty good, but that drug-addicts are rock star. It’s a slum/tunnel/sewer hole/mausoleum. OF COURSE there are drug addicts hanging out in it. Or, as they are called, the sewer-folk “These squalid, drug-addicted humans live in a near-animalistic state in the sewers below the city” I love this kind of shit. There’s something so real about it. It grounds you. It gets you out of that bullshit fantasy orc stabbing mindset. What’s real, what’s a threat, what’s not a threat? If you went wandering around If you’re out doing some urban exploring, entering those holes in Pogues Run, what find you run across? Some kids. A large group of them? Are they dangerous? How about some homeless? Just homeless? Drug addicts? Desperate and looking for an easy score? Are you an easy score? Wanna posture some? Does that make things worse? WHat else is down there? This is great.

And, it does that thing that certain adventures do where you get fucked up coming OUT of the dungeon. Maybe some thugs out to score something easy. Hope one of those sewer-people didn’t tip them off. Or, the law, looking for a cut and kickback tax. This is all so great!
Oh, and did we mention that the sewer people are afraid? Some of them go missing … yup, it’s ghouls! Yeah ghouls! As serial killers/conpiracy/urban folktales! And the place has HORDES in it. There are some places where there are A LOT of ghouls, or a ALOT of jerlamaine/rat type people in their lair. And, of course, we all know that the lair is where the loot is. As is the tomb of the elf dude that is dangerously trapped. No pain no magic armor you murder hobo wannabes!

Writing is a little on the mundane side. Not bad, just not good. “Enormous empty washing basin cut from grey marble. Bas-reliefs on the basin walls depict a paradisiacal afterlife. A cracked painting of the night sky on the domed ceiling.” There’s nothing particularly wrong with that. It doesn’t overstay and it doesn’t pad shit out. It a decent solid workmanlike description, which makes it better than 90% of the shit being published. I’m just always hoping for a little more. The designer does, though, do a pretty good job of noting specific details. And, of course, specificity is the soul of narrative. In a room with a well “Claw marks in the hard earthen shaft were made by creatures climbing up and down” GREAT detail! SHould scare the fuck out of the party. Provides a hint. That’s all good D&D. In another place there’s a door with a raven carved in it. Fuck around and the raven comes to life to attack you. And when/if it dies it leaves a jewel. The overloaded context here is WONDERFUL.

The map is good. Decent detail, same level stairs, statues and so on. The locked/secret/concealed doors do get quite a bit hard to read, but, otherwise, the map is a good one. Hand drawn, which has its own charm and I kind of prefer. Except you do have to take care that things are legible. Like those fucking door codes, which are NOT.

Overall, a good little dungeon. Solid. It’s not winning an award, but it’s a good example of what you do. Platonic, even. It’s only ten pages long. And it does much much more with those ten pages than adventures four or five times its length.

Fight On! #15 is $5 at DriveThru.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/489776/fight-on-15-spring-2024-pdf-version?1892600