By Ashley Warren Self Published 5e Level 1
A legend speaks of a lost ring that belonged to famed battle maiden Dagmar the Unyielding: traverser of the realms, feller of beasts and giants and all those who dared to stand against her. The ring, lost among the Moonshae Isles, is imbued with the power of her might. Many have sought out the ring, but few have uncovered it. The ring is shielded by the Daughters of the Gray, a fierce and fearsome band of warriors as tough and relentless as the coastal landscape from which they were hewn. The Daughters, who reside in a Norland settlement called Kvinne, have made an oath to Dagmar, whom they revere and respect, to protect the ring at all costs. Only those the Daughters deem worthy are allowed to get close to it. For the ring is not a piece of jewelry: it’s a place. In fact, it’s an arena.
This 23 page adventure is terrible. It has a number of combats in a Challenge Arena. With a few more fights tossed in also. I don’t understand it at all.
I’m not sure why this is on my list. I combined several of my DriveThru wishlists recently, now that I’ve discovered that I had them, and this was on it. So someone suggested it. A bad person. I usually start reviews by trying to say something nice about an adventure. I recognize that folks generally have some emotional investment in their works and they deserve a fair shake, which includes finding some things to praise. But I’m really struggling here to find anything.
You’re after The Ring of the Battle Maiden, which contains her power. The hooks are the usual lower effort kind. A toss-aside bar rumour or a lost page of a book. And there’s there’s the body of a troll that washes up on shore. Do trolls do that now? Not regenerate? You don’t need fire anymore? I see a stat block at the end for a Norland Troll,. That has a slightly different regen mechanism. And also has the Vicious Mockery skill? I guess this is a new troll type then and I should calm the fuck down? I don’t know. I’m down with new creatures but I think I’m taking exception to the subversion of the core mechanic of Troll. Also, when a troll DOES appear in the adventure there is little guidance on the Mockery thing. Like, none. It just seems to be another attack type. “I cast SUPERNOVA OF THE SUN!” ok, your opponent takes 1d4 damage. This would be too much in the way of removing the mechanics from the fluff for me.
So you jump on a ship, the Maiden Voyage (get it?! Get it?!) and head to the place. AT the dock you get attacked by a harpy in a perfunctory manner. Then you’re met and told that to start your journey you need to go to the battle house over the mountain. So you hike over it, up the trail, and along the way you activate each standing stone, all CRPG style. Then you might a random undead monster at the top, which, I might note, is the improper way of using randomness. And, in fact, might stand in for a lot of the issues in this adventure. That’s not the purpose of randomness in D&D. It’s not to determine which monster you fight, in a fixed encounter that you are only having once. Yes, wanderers are a thing, but that’s to prevent your abbreviated work day shit. But, this encounter is only happening once. WHy is it random? Why not put some effort in the encounter, since its the culmination of lighting all of the beacons of Gondor. But, again, whatever.
You make it to the other side. You find the battle house. It’s stated out in all room/key style, which is inappropriate for something like this. We’re not exploring. It’s more of a social environment. A different key style is more appropriate for the assisting the DM in a case like this. Oh, also you find out that the Ring is an arena and you’re fighting tomorrow!
We go through a LONG section of read-aloud the next next morning that I am in no way paying attention to if I”m a player. And then a LONG section of rules. Which I am again ignoring because I’m bored listening to the DM and am now playing on my phone. .You go through a tournament of combat, like, five rounds or so. Worry not, if you die the priest fixes you. And between battles you can drink of the font of recovery to get your HP and abilities/spell slots back. Lucky you, death provides no escape from this adventure.
Once you win a troll then attacks and you’re charged with killing it. If you all die then the village leader steps in, kills it immediately, and the priest cures you. It’s hard enough to die in 5e, but this takes the cake.
Did I mention the prose style in the read-aloud? When arriving at the coast there’s a long section of read-aloud that ends with: “It is a stark and bleak, but achingly beautiful, landscape. Ghostly mist swirls around you, enveloping you in its whispers — a promise that you may discover both danger and wonder here.” How’s that for purple? I can’t stand this sort of commentary. Writing is supposed to make you feel something, not TELL you how to feel. I understand it’s a bit unfair to hold an adventure writer to the standards of The Paris Review, but maybe just get a little close?
I don’t know what to say here. I know people have different styles of games. I just find it impossible to believe that any decent number of people want to sit through long read aloud. Or with that sort of prose in it. And a Test Your Might arena? There are THOUSANDS of those adventures. I can’t see why they are popular at all. Because they are easy to understand and run and require little creative effort on the DMs part? I mean, D&D has those 4e-style boardgames, right? And, with no risk at all, to the party … this is where I come closest to being wrong. I understand I want a more Game game. And that other people want more Story activities.
But, then, why are you using D&D for that? I mean, Thou Art But A Warrior.
This is $3 at DriveThru. The preview is seven pages. Enough to tell what you’re getting. Or not getting, as the case may be.
https://preview.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/250087/the-ring-of-the-battle-maiden?1892600
I don’t know. There is just so little understanding on how to write an adventure. What good formatting looks like. Your read aloud. Structure. Evocative writing. What’s important to pay attention to, or not. And I don’t even mean the style of game. I can acknowledge that people have different play styles. But so much of the rest of it …