Battle for Neraka

By Simone Zambrunoi
Classic Dungeon Adventures
OSE
"Low to Mid Levels"

In Battle for Neraka, players assume the roles of the forces of good besieging the temple, aiming to free it from the clutches of wicked cultists.

This 21 page raid adventure uses about nine pages to describe tenish rooms in an evil fortress. You’ll be storming the backdoor and holding it for 20 rounds while the elf host streams in behind you. It’s warhammer, with some read-aloud.

Ok, so, I’ve played Warhammer, I think, once? And I’ve played a couple of other mini systems a handful of times. And, of course, there was 4e. This is OSR, so you’re not getting those tactical combat choices that 4e provides. My memory of the mini combat games was that it was just moving your dude somewhere and then rolling dice with a couple of modifiers. That sounds like this adventure. At least, if you toss in some bad read-aloud. 

The first thing you’re going to notice is the white text on a black background. I cannot say enough about what a terrible choice this is. It literally hurts my eyes to stare at it and try to read it. I took four tylenol this morning to try and combat it. And then toss in the italics used for read-aloud? Hrumph. There’s also some weird ass font that runs around the edge. I’m not sure what it says; it’s illegible. The first lesson in adventure design must be that a DM must actually be able to read the adventure. No, that’s not a binary decision. It’s just a garbage decision and I can’t imagine how anyone who looked at this would decide “Yup, that’s what I should do!”

Ok, let’s move on to the map. It’s absurd. There’s a moat, with a long bridge over it, and a fortress on the other side. I think you’re coming out of the forest on your side? Actually, I’m not sure of that. It’s never mentioned. And NONE of what I just said is on the map. The map shows two levels of a corner tower. Part of the second level is “the wall”, the battlements that the soldiers man. The adventure makes a big deal of evil reinforcements streaming in to the tower to repel the party.  But the battlements? They don’t connect to the rest of the fortress. It goes out of its way to note that there’s a tall wall between the battlements and the courtyard. And no mention of you crossing it, looking in to it, or anything like that. And that battlement does not go past the little tower. But wait, there’s more! Maybe they stream in to the lower level! No. There’s only one door, the one the party will coming in that leads to the bridge over the moat. This is literally cut off from the rest of the fortress. Seldom have I seen work so lazy. Even a fucking pointcrawl would indicate the fucking exits. 

Ok, so, you’re special forces in the elf army, among the best there is in the host. Your captain sends you on the mission. Fuck yeah man! Glorfindel wants ME to raid the place! Oh, wait, no, generic read-aloud and the most uninspiring command ever to raid the place. NOTHING about this thing is decent. At ALL.

Rooms have long read-aloud. It’s all in second-person. So, you know, hope you are not invisible or used some clever tactic to enter the room you’re in.  “As you prepare to cross the bridge, breathing as little as  possible and  shielded  from  sight by the poisonous mists, you hear a dull thud ahead of you. Moments later, a large shape begins to emerge from the fog. A monstrous bipedal figure materializes from the mist, seemingly unaffected by the toxic fumes.” Hey, a forced combat! That’s great! Doesn’t matter what you’re doing, you get attacked. 

The whole thing is obviously written for 5e even though it claims to be OSR and/or generic. “The large door is very sturdy, and breaking it requires a very difficult Strength check. It is tough to break down due to the considerable thickness of the wood, which grants the door many hit points and a moderate reduction in damage.” Again, just stat your fucking adventure. Just do it. No one cares. The pedants will complain, but they are going to complain anyway. No one is going to care that you put in 5e stats and then labeled OSR. Well, I mean, I will. But I’m a deeply unhappy person. 

Just garbage. No more Classic Dungeon Adventures for me.

This is $1 at DriveThru. There’s no preview. Sucker!

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/529565/battle-for-neraka?1892600