The Chili Rat Chiefs

By Zonk
Self Published
OSR/Into the Odd
Level ?

Three Rat Chiefs rule over a tribe of rat-like humanoids, harnessing the power of chili for their own depraved and corrupt ends. Treasure awaits the intrepid explorer, or a death choking on capsaicin, clobbered by a rat wrestler, or incinerated by a lich.

This 56 page adventure (not 52 as the cover suggests) uses 21 pages to describe eighteen rooms in some caves full of rat men. It’s got a hint of good descriptions, in places, but is an overly verbose tangle that has little more than stabbing things in it.

Just is a site based location, with no hooks. Well, there are hooks, just a “if you need one then maybe they stole a cow” kind of thing. But, otherwise, there’s none of that overblown hook shit found in other adventures … even though there’s a section called hooks. And I’m A-Ok with this. Sites don’t really need hooks. There’s a hole in the ground. Get going. I would not, however, that the hook section is two paragraphs long. Even though there’s essentially nothing there other than “maybe they stole a cow.” This, my ignoble readers, is what we call a sign of things to come.

Let’s look at the description for room one: “If the PCs manage to make their way down the mine shaft, they’re met with a grim visage:” The sentence continues with “the mangled, ancient remains of two apparent miners, a broken pick next to one, a strange helmet next to the other.” Let’s be clear: I hate absolutely the fuck everything about this description. Both clauses of it. In fact, I don’t think I could write a more textbook description, if I were going to give examples of what makes a description bad. IF the PC’s manage to … Great start, with an IF clause. And, of course, they really MUST make their way down the mine shaft in order to enter the dungeon (at least, this entrance.) That’s all just an if/then pad. And then there’s that grim visage shit. It’s not aimed at the party, so it must be aimed at the DM. But it’s overly … meta? For the DM. If it’s read aloud then we describe a scene in which the players think “man, that’s a grim visage!” If it’s for the DM then we cement that imagery in their head in a way that facilitates them communicating it to the players so that they think “man, that’s a grim visage!” But in no circumstances do we do this meta thing. So, the first two lines of the five line description ( in the layout) are meaningless. The rest of the description is, well, boring. If it were read-aloud (And its clear, I think, its not meant to be) then it would over-reveal. But it’s just boring. And it has that word apparent in it? I LOATHE the use of appears to be. Seems to be. It does nothing for the text at all. I want a description that really brings the scene to life, and that’s not it. 

And that happens over and over and over again in the adventure. The descriptions are both padded out with this meta shit and then the ACTUAL description ends up being more than a little boring. There’s no sense of rat man tunnels, or caves, at all. And while there is a chili garden, and they boil chilis in one room, the whole chili theme isn’t really present at all either. It just a fucking boring ass cave with a chili garden and a cauldron in one room. 

There are, though, some high points. They are exits from the rooms. I hate room exits, in a description. I LOATHE them. For that first room they take up about half the page while teh actual fucking description and shit, for the room and things, takes up, I don’t know, a quarter of the page? Perfect, the fucking exits get more description than the room does. But, also … it’s using the OSE style. Which, I know, gets some people worked up., But it’s used here perfectly. (crudly dug, a smell of ammonia and wet fur) That’s EXACTLY what you want to communicate to the party. That’s exactly the sort of thing I want in a room, in fact. That’s the vibe. Or, (spicy armor, cow tracks, crudely dug) or (rotten stench.) The first one, crudely dug dirt tunnel with that stench of ammonia and wet fur … that’s REALLY good. It makes you imagine and feel something. And that’s what every description should do. Monster, treasure, room. “This potato-shaped chamber is blessed with a natural crack in the roof, leading outside;” Blessed with a natural crack in the roof. Fuck that shit.

The actual encounters in the caves are pretty boring. It’s mostly fighting rats. A lich rat. The rat chief. The farmer rat. The alchemist rat. The potion rat. You bored yet? I am. There’s a library in one room. No book value listed as treasure (maybe that’s an into the odd thing?) But there’s a whole lot of No Treasure. And not a whole lot of things to do here other than just go in to a room and stab someone. There are some throw away lines about talking to the rats. “Bob likes books.” but I don’t see how that comes up when he is threatening to stab you. 

The idea here is not realized. The interactivity is poor. The descriptions show a lack of understanding of the descriptive purpose. Meh.

This is Pay What You Want at DriveThru, with a suggested price of $1. The preview is a worthless six pages, but you do get it for free, I guess, since it’s PWYW.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/491351/the-chili-rat-chiefs?1892600