The Wizard’s Tower

By Robert Mills
Trebormills Games
d6? Levels ... Mid?

The situation in Greymarsh has become dire indeed, heroic individuals are needed to rise to the task of defending it. Villages in the Southlands have reported sighting hoards of undead, coming from out of the Deadwood. In addition there are also reports of roving patrols of goblins, orcs and bandits close to the Wizard’s tower. Bertrum Greymane the fifth hasn’t been heard from in two months. It is imperative that contact is re-established with the hermit-like mad mage. Find out what is going on with Bertrum and if he is alive make contact with him, then report back to Greyhold.

This 32 page adventure uses eight pages to describe about seventeen rooms in an underground complex. You’ll ‘enjoy’ stabbing things, stabbing things more in rooms with overly simplistic descriptions, but still padded out. Note that there is no Wizard’s Tower. Or really a hex crawl either?

Ok, undead, orcs and goblins are coming out of the Deadwood. That’s, oh, ten days horse ride away, thirty or so days on foot. Frank the Wizzo lives on the edge of the woods and no one has heard from him. Pretty please go check on him? Ok man, we got a hex crawl! A thirty day hex crawl as a part of the plot? Or a ten day hex crawl on horse? That’s a bit strange, given the urgency that is being communicated. But, sure, ok. 

Said hex crawl involves you rolling on wandering monster tables twice a day to have a potential encounters. That’s it. No hexes to explore. No sites to discover. ROll twice a day and have your wandering encounter. I don’t know that I would use the words hex crawl to describe that. I guess its technically accurate? Maybe? Maybe it’s just a Hex Travel adventure and Hex Crawl means what we traditionally think of it as? Anyway, lame, adds nothing, boring. The adventure suggests that perhaps as many three gaming sessions could be taken up with the journey to the wizards tower, as a hex crawl. Again, that’s not quite what I would expect?

Congrats! You’re now at the wizards tower! It’s being besieged by hundreds of orcs, goblins and undead. Eventually you will stumble across a magic telepathy session that tells you to go to some ruins and explore them. Thus, the adventure of The Wizards Tower is not actually IN the Wizards Tower. It’s in a dwarf ruin nearby. *sigh* 

Now we’ve got kind of an Indiana Jones scene, from Raiders, where the nazis are digging one desert site out and Dr Jones is going in to another site, the real one. Except the siegers are tunneling  in and the party has found the front doors, so to speak. Except there’s no real above ground portion to this, not the big mining operation for the siegers, or, really, any interesting details of the siege at all. Lame.

We now get to the dungeon. Inside we shall be dazzled by such descriptions as “The Orcs bypassed the sealed door by tunnelling into the chamber. Anyone discovering this tunnel will be faced by a picket guard of 2 goblins at the entrance, plus the individuals in room 5.”The Orcs bypassed the sealed door by tunnelling into the chamber. Anyone discovering this tunnel will be faced by a picket guard of 2 goblins at the entrance, plus the individuals in room 5.”In fact, almost every room has a “Bertram did this to room” section to it. FUll of padding and backstory and useless detail. “There is a sealed pit in this room (treat it as magically sealed by Bertrum, unless you have added your own extra tunnels, in which case it could connect to those)” or some padding like “Should the PC’s touch or pick up the treasure they risk angering the guardian of the tomb.” That’s a nothing statement. And that sort of padding is everywhere.

Interactivity involves stabbing things. Lots of things. I think there’s a spider you can talk to, but that’s about it. Just stab things. But, no real order of battle, of course. Maybe a note here or there that the dudes in room 5 are alerted, which is better than nothing I guess.

“A former council room for meetings between the Dwarven elders and visitors. Now used by Bertrum to store furniture and unimportant documents. The room is currently being ransacked by three goblins” That right there is what you are paying your money for. Three gaming session to get to that. You enjoy that right there.

This is $4 at DriveThru. The preview is four pages and shows you nothing, thus, an ineffective preview.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/472770/gma2-the-wizard-s-tower?1892600

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11 Responses to The Wizard’s Tower

  1. chainsaw says:

    Cover’s cool. Makes me want to explore.

  2. Shitty Adventure says:

    So the adventure title is The Wizard’s Tower but the adventure doesn’t feature said wizard’s tower?

    And it purports to be a hex crawl but in reality, it’s only random encounters on an overland map?

    Is that right?

    Good god, what is wrong with these designers?

  3. Sevenbastard says:

    I’m not sure how traveling by horse is three times faster than traveling by foot.

    Sure you can carry more gear and will show up more well rested but your not going that much faster.

    This is bothers me because

    One: No rules in any system give horses 3 times the movement speed

    Two: The internet exists, a quick Google search will tell you that horse can move faster but not over long distances.

    Three: common sense bro have you ever seen people on a trail or even a video or movie of people riding horses? Do they look like they are going 9 miles an hour? No they plod along.

    • Bork says:

      Gandalf rode an explicitly magical horse a great distance at great speed one time and now every low quality piece of fantasy fiction just assumes a horse can be rode at full gallop for a week straight.

      • Gnarley Bones says:

        Movement Rates through plain/scrub with average encumbrance:

        1E
        Foot: 20 miles/day
        Mounted: 40 miles/day

    • Anonymous says:

      Clearly you’ve never gone on any significant backpacking trips. With a horse toy trade it out at each settlement and you end up stopping half as much as you would by foot

    • Sevenbastard says:

      If you go deep down the horse speed bunny hole like I did a few years ago there is a race in England where runners and horses compete against each other. Runners can beat horse sometimes.

      https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man_versus_Horse_Marathon

      Spoiler like all great adventures it started in a bar.

      • Gnarley Bones says:

        This kind of thing fascinates me. There’s a fairly well-supported theory that we evolved as persistence hunters and can outrun (over very long distances) almost every animal, including antelopes, and can literally chase most prey animals to exhaustion.

        It’s hard to imagine a human ever winning against a horse, but it’s also hard to imagine running for 22 Goddam miles.

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