Prison-Pit of the Agelast King

By Thom Wilson
ThrowiGames
Shadowdark
Levels 1-2

A Request!

An exiled king’s castle has aged centuries overnight, terrifying locals and passing travelers. Although relieved to be rid of the ruthless despot, farmers are fearful of what the small keep’s sudden and unexplainable ruination could mean. Will some curse or foul magic now creep into their lands? Rumors of the king’s remarkable wealth have lured adventurers and brave villagers into the perilous tunnels below the castle, but none have returned. Can anyone find out what is going on at Castle Grushnal?

This 24 page adventure details a 25-ish room linear dungeon. Most rooms are the same. One or two decent ideas doesn’t make up for the monotony of it all. 

In the first big room of this adventure there are two actual fucking angels standing in a room, each guarding one hallway. You can check in any time you like but you can never leave. That’s pretty nifty! Mythic, you might even say. Like, we’re making sure the evil don’t get out. Therest of the room is not quite ENtrance to the Mythic Underworld, but a couple of fucking angels standing guard outside? Fuck yeah! And, in another place, you’ve got a room with a bunch of skeletons just standing around in it. Almost a trap, yeah? That’s a pretty sweet concept, using hordes of creatures as a trick or situation instead of just a straight up combat? Noice! And then it happens again with zombies. And in both cases it’s more of a fight than a trick/situation. There is, I’m afraid, no salvation in this adventure.

Our enemies list, up front for level 1-2 adventure, is: Two angels, 20 lesser skeletons, 4 imps, 1 imp-mother, 30 zombies, 4 succubae, 1 devilish advisor, 1-4 bone devils, 4 shadows, and 1 devil-king. My old complaint returns again and again: you have to know what you’re up against. If a 600’ tall titan has 1 HD and an orc has 20 HD, seemingly at random, then we’re not doing a good job with adventure design. What the fuck are you fighting at level three? Vampires? Gods at level four? (Actually, I think I just did review an adventure with vampires at level … two?) 

The rumour table is a disaster. “A few young villagers who went to explore have not returned.” Where’s the specificity? The young rapscallion, Blind Billy, who picks pockets and empties cess pots, has gone missing?! But, no, please, just shovel in some more generic abstracted words. What’s that Immortan Joe line? Don’t drink too much water lest you become addicted to it? 

Ok, back to the adventure. There’s this castle and it’s suddenly started decaying in to ruins. Like, overnight. The upper level is four big open areas. And a pool of water down at the bottom of the hill that a stream runs through. That has been poisoned by cultists. Now, the cultists are just an afterthought here. They show up in one room in the upper ruins. But, also, they have poisoned the pool of water. The pool of water that is meaningless to the adventure. In every way, this pool of water does. Not. matter. But, there it is, poisoned, and taking up space. The cultists don’t matter. The dead bandits in the next room don’t matter. It’s almost like these are separate adventures. There’s no foreshadowing, or secret entrances, or anything like that. It’s like I just stuck an exploding chest out in the wilderness for no reason. Sure, not everything has to have meaning or contribute to a larger cause of holistic design, but, this one just stands out as being … meaningless.

Let’s see here. The map is essentially lineart. Perfect. The text is full of “Seems to be … “ statements. You find a glowing magic sword at the bottom of a pool of acid. It does “an extra point on damage.” 

The adventuring environment is … a little repetitive. Here’s the description for one of the rooms: “Grand room. Massive collapse covers half of room. Broken furniture. Pieces of tables and chairs found throughout the room.” Got it? You now know what just about every room description is. Oh, I guess there’s the smell of acid thats missing, as well as the acid pools up against the wall, that are in … three quarters of the rooms? An acid pool., a collapsing room full of rubble and a monster. There’s your room. Just repeat that a dozen times or so. Ten of the eleven first rooms have acid or are collapsing, with a great many doing both. I stopped counting after that because I was bored. 

Mostly linear maps. Little to no specificity. Repetition to the point of monotony. Monster zoo or demons. At level one. 

This is $5 at DriveThru. There is no preview.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/453803/PrisonPit-of-the-Agelast-King?1892600

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14 Responses to Prison-Pit of the Agelast King

  1. The Ensanguinated Fangs of Voluptuous Drelzna says:

    Bryce: “Our enemies list, up front for level 1-2 adventure, is: Two angels, 20 lesser skeletons, 4 imps, 1 imp-mother, 30 zombies, 4 succubae, 1 devilish advisor, 1-4 bone devils, 4 shadows, and 1 devil-king”. This poor attempt at a module has clearly not been play tested! It is just a cash grab!

  2. Anonymous says:

    Is “Agelast” supposed to be “Ageless?”

  3. Old One says:

    Author Thom Wilson’s response to this review, on the Kickstarter for this project:

    “I place no value in Bryce’s comments – he trashes all work for laughs. I’d gladly stack up any of my published work against his… oh, that’s right. He has none.”

    • Gnarley Bones says:

      Goodness, that almost sounds like an ad hominem attack.

      I suppose that’s easier than actually addressing any items of critique. No doubt the dozens of dollars he’ll earn from this item will act as a balm against the sting.

    • samurguybri says:

      Bad form, Thom. Bad form.

    • Shitty Adventure says:

      Gee, that response from the author just makes me want to pony up my cash. (rolleyes)

      What the ever-loving fuck is wrong with this guy? Yeah, I know Bryce can be abrasive and even insulting but this review isn’t even like that, and at the end of the day, this thing is a mess. A complete mess. Level 1-2 and that’s the list of combatants?? What are the PCs supposed to do, walk into the place and get stomped immediately? This designer is a joke. And what’s worse, a designer with little desire to improve.

    • Anonymous says:

      Ha and I’ll bet they were the one to request it in the first place!

    • Beoric says:

      Except Bryce _did_ publish The Black Maw, and the link can be found on the banner of this site.

    • Anonymous says:

      He is clearly unaware of Bryce’s “Not an Idiot” and “The Best” classifications. Someone should send him a link to the “The Best” filtered page and links of all the reviews of stuff by Kelsy Dione or Gavin Norman.

      • The Heretic says:

        I had never heard of Kelsey Dionne before, thank you for mentioning her. And of course, when I went to browse her site I found a very relevant quote from her blog: “For the record, if you can’t take feedback gracefully (even when it’s harsh), you aren’t ready to be a publisher. “

    • Anonymous says:

      Absolutely contemptible

  4. Artem the Orc Blade says:

    >>>If a 600’ tall titan has 1 HD and an orc has 20 HD, seemingly at random, then we’re not doing a good job with adventure design.

    I totally can buy a one-of-a-kind 20HD orc – legendary champion, greatest chieftain who ever lived, imbued with power by the orc gods, etc.

    A 1 HD titan, however, is pure cancer.

  5. Malrex says:

    I don’t know why….but I have a strong desire to put a random exploding chest in the middle of the forest/wilderness. The reason: It would amuse me….

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