The House of Lost Loves

By Thomas Scott Ingle
Self Published
LotFP

The men of Dunnswain are distraught; all their wives are missing! They point apprehensively to a lone house on a hill, a couple miles from town. To paraphrase, “Our wives went there in a tizzy, and ain’t been back since…!” What do these men have in common, aside from their cowardice to investigate the house themselves? Why are only the married women missing? To whom does the house on the hill belong…? A short investigation reveals all…then it’s time to visit… The House of Lost Loves…!

This 84 page adventure explores, I think, the prurient sexual fantasies of the designer, Thomas Scott Ingle, mashed up with HP Lovecraft. Set in a mansion, it provides twelve different scenarios, written as a jumbled mess by a proclaimed edgelord.

Do you like big tittied anime milfs? Well, Thomas Scottt Ingle seems to. This adventure has its text overlaid on background images on … every page? And on every page there’s a topless big tittied anime milf. Ok, not every page. Half the pages? Maybe? Anyway. Lots of H-cup anime milfs adorn the art in this. This goes along with the text of the adventure which is full of women getting stripped, raped, and beaten. Big tittied anime milfs getting striped, huddleing as group while getting raped and whipped. That’s what you get in this adventure. I guess I should back to explain the big-tittied anime milfs Thomas Scott Ingle put in getting stripped, raped, and whipped and how we got there.

Thomas Scott Ingle opens this adventure by spending a page or so telling us what an edgelord he is and how this adventure is not for kids, cause he’s so edgy. Like, seriously, he tells us, not for kids. Great, got it. I forget, that might come before or after the four pages of HP Lovecraft fan fic. Why is HP Lovecraft in this? I have no fucking idea. I guess some weird shit happens and thats what weird shit means to people? HPL? Anyway, a few pages of background/fan fic. 

Ol widow Lovecraft (he got marrieD) lives in the house on the hill. A bunch of women form up a gang and go see her and are never seen again. The husbands (who , it turns out, have all slept with the widow) are afraid for their wives. But, notably, DO NOT form a gang to go deal with things. Their lack of drunken agency is astonishing.

Then we launch in to thirty or so pages of What Could Have Happened. There are twelve of them and each is three or for pages long. Each presents a different version of what is going on inside the house. With names like Wait, What, Who? And Unknown to the Lady of the Home, the titles give you wonderful summaries of what to expect from each. Each says things like “the creature is held in the basement laboratory (b4)” or “the naked raped and beaten female servants are held in the larder, B2.” Good job Thomas Scoot Ingle. With the raping. I mean, why not turn to the most cliched element of all where women are concerned. What about those male servants? Have they, also, not served? Something against a little male anal/oral rape? A  handy by an unwilling footman is out of the question? Let my point here not be lost. If a designer gave a shit about weird and then the duds would be taking it also. I mean, what the fuck does a tentacle care? But that’s not the case in these adventures. And, thusly, I am forced to conclude that something else is going on. Some other reason that Thomas Scott Ingle has written extensively about big-tittied anime milfs getting stripped, raped and beaten. Repeatedly. In a dozen different scenarios, or so. So, you know. Draw what inferences you care to. 

I don’t understand how any reasonable person is supposed to use this. You have five or so pages of “what happened in this variation” and then need to cross-reference that, during play, with the house description that is thirty or so pages deeper in to the adventure. How does that actually work in play? It doesn’t? It’s like a template, the house, was written and then a bunch of variables were formed up and whats missing is the final running of the app to fill in the blanks in the template with the variables. But, rest assured, they are not variables, in the twelve variations presented. It’s just a full of stream of consciousness text telling you what happened, backstory, who is where and kind of what they are doing. And, then, mashed in to all of this is a section in the back that says “Here’s are some traps to use throughout the house is you decide to use traps.” What?!

It’s just free paragraph writing. On full image backgrounds which makes the text very hard to read. Did I mention that one of the variations is a Rick & Morty theme? There’s one creature encounter in the house description, some cannibal parrots. Everything else you have to intuit and reference from the variations. The unnamed house servants, also, I guess? And have I mentioned how the house description conflicts with the variation descriptions of what is going on? Want in the front door? Good luck, that house description, with servants, is only accurate in a few of the variations. Otherwise, look at both at the same time … while holding the entire variation in your head, in order to run the room.

This is a nightmare product. 

This is $12 at DriveThru. The preview is seven pages. You get the edgelord warning and a page of the HPL fan fic. Shitty preview, showing you nothing of the actual adventure in order to let you make you own determination before purchasing.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/446451/The-House-of-Lost-Loves?1892600

This entry was posted in Dungeons & Dragons Adventure Review, My Life is a Living Fucking Hell, Reviews, The Worst EVAR?. Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to The House of Lost Loves

  1. Gnarley Bones says:

    To be entirely fair, the Author says it’s a horrible adventure right on the cover.

    I’m going to pretend there is no audience for this. Makes it easier to get through the day.

  2. Mr. Koebel says:

    Tragic! If only he had included more Robots this might have been had some merit.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Writing a campaign arc that starts here and ends with the Elder Worm, two of the highest rated adventures on the site 🙂

  4. The Labia Diaries says:

    The only thing missing here is a Venger co-author citation. Seriously, how did he not get in on this?

    • Anonymous says:

      The Big Hoss is much less rape. More of a coke fueled orgiastic rite with Spongebob and Aladdin and green skinned alien strange rather than whatever this shit is.

  5. Imbangala says:

    I am not made surprise that the mr tenfoot is ascared of woman. We must praise the venus in the life and in the game.

    • Laeral says:

      Is that the point of this adventure, then? Some sort of anti-feminist statement? That you pay $12 for and can’t use at the table?

  6. Anonymous says:

    Adventure of the Year, but did they remember to include detailed trigger warnings?

  7. AB Andy says:

    Humor aside, where did it go wrong for LotFP? The system has brought us gems in the past but nowadays It seems it’s a refuge for edgelords, with very few exceptions. I really wish Raggi would try some quality control for the products that use his IP. Adventures like this just ruin the system. Unless he doesn’t care or actually likes such products for the shock factor.

    Like Prince said in a recent review, there are 2 LotFP. This edgy one, and the horror, dirty, hopeless, medieval-like. In my opinion Raggi needs to decide what the system identifies as.

    • E.T. Smith says:

      It’s a short story actually. LotFP attracted a lot of stellar writers in its early days with its refreshingly loud and bold indie punk-rock aesthetic, but when James Raggi started using that fame as a platform for some questionable views and support for some terrible people, those writers didn’t wanted to be associated with him or his game anymore. On top of that, other games came along that built on LotFP’s ill-directed edginess towards more coherently mature directions (Troika for instance, and Mork Borg). So pretty much the only people left who want to write LotFP adventures anymore is Raggi himself, and his wannabe-edgelord fans sticking with LotFP for culture-war reasons

    • Tacitus says:

      No.

      Lotfp managed to be a bridge between old styles and new styles, and got itself an all star cast: Zzarchov, Geoffrey Mckinney, Jeff Rients etc. It was a blend of everything, and it allowed unlimited creative freedom. Many things published during that great epoch are still spoken fondly of today: Carcosa, Veins of the Earth, Towers Two, Death Frost Doom, Broodmother Skyfortress.

      Unfortunately James made the same mistake many others do and he got involved with the freakshows. You know them. They all live in coastal cities. They all have the same ideas. They are constantly embroiled in drama, nazi accusations, weird sex allegations and blacklisting. When James naively opened the doors to these people, it did not take very long for his own brand to become the victim of their drama. Most of the rats left the sinking ship and moved to Troika (nogames mental illness) and Mork Borg (vapid hot-topic graffiti appealing to preteens). Unfortunately Lotfp still has a small diehard group of freakshow fans and no one wants to associate with them if they can avoid it so the end result is mostly edgy lacklustre performance, with occasional ok entries by Kelvin Green. Every once in a while a normal entry slips through and is ok.

      Quick question. Does anyone know any good MB or Troika supplements that a D&D player would be interested in? No? Any adventures? Anything of significance? How odd. Me neither.

      When you comment here, you are expected to maintain a certain standard and be knowledgeable about the topic you opine on. This is not a diary for your thoughts. Ask yourself: Am I really set out for commenting? Would I not be more productive being worked to death in a field, held at gunpoint by a malnourished Cambodean infantryman?

      Think about it.

      • Anonymous says:

        Bryce managed to find two to list as “The Best”. Just sayin’…

        https://tenfootpole.org/ironspike/?p=7840

        https://tenfootpole.org/ironspike/?p=7757

      • E.T.Smith says:

        Tacitus, thank you for taking the time and effort to prove the point by being a clear example of the reprehensible sorts whose association with LotFP have degraded its reputation so thoroughly.

        Your inner life is a lot of furious futile thoughts about people who don’t care you exist, isn’t it?

        • Reason says:

          And yet… here we are… claiming the high ground… on the internet… Wallow in it, that high ground, wallow in it boys.

        • Tacitus says:

          Your attempts at psychological analysis are as poorly conceived as your attempts at historical revisionism.

          It is not enough that you come over here to shamelessly distort reality with your brazen lies. This in itself could be excused, for lying is second nature to you and your distasteful ilk. But where are you talking about games? Offering useful insights on the latest module review?

          The truth is you have nothing to offer and produce nothing. You are a parasite that enjoys sitting in judgement of others while contributing nothing. We don’t want that here.

  8. Eh Nonymous says:

    Hey Bryce, you’re probably already aware, but the tenfootpole.org launch page is broken – it says the site is under construction and doesn’t redirect to your reviews. Just making sure you know.

  9. Gnarley Bones says:

    Is it just me or, of the lady on the cover, is one eye a-hunting and the other one is a-fishing?

  10. Omega says:

    Do you get to kiss any of the titty anime milfs?

  11. Anonymous says:

    LotFP died precisely when Raggi decided that being as cool and edgy as a 90’s Offspring song was as more important than making good stuff. When he decided that rather then fix his life and grow up he’d get all into the incel cult of brain damaged Canadian grifter, and when he waffled and hedged about if he was with or against his troubled star author who was credibly accused of misconduct by multiple women … and then doubled down by being that guy who died people for not liking his abrasive ass.

    While LotFP’s own adventure are still half decent and half shit (Kelvin Green or whatever isn’t bad), the brand – and it’s alway been a brand – has defined itself as: the place to indulge in sex creep shit and be edgy. Only the Marquis de Sade can be the Marquise de Sade. These fuckers just end up being dirty uncles. It’s a shame really because back in the day LotFP was quality, well paid writers and love of the game. It threw it all away to keep cosplaying the trench-coat mafia.

    • Anonymous says:

      Raggi’s mistake was trying to court the cabal of creeps, degenerates and freakshows that run the Ennies. Still associating with Dismissed With Extreme Prejudice and his flying circus is icing on the cake. Publishing material without editorial oversight is the nail in the coffin.

      There’s still occasionally decent authors like Glynn Seal and Green, but it lacks the star power of the olden days, that’s for sure.

  12. Big Titty Anime MILF Lover says:

    “I mean, what the fuck does a tentacle care?”

    Priceless. 😀

  13. Anonymous says:

    Methinks the author considers himself an expert in Lovecraft…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *