Bugbear Brothers
Self Published
OSR
Level ..?
AN ANCIENT OATH. A POISONED TREASURE. A DUNGEON THAT REMEMBERS. Built by Celtic druids to defy Caesar, repurposed by the Knights Templar, and sealed for centuries, The Green Dungeon has been opened once more. A newly translated relic points to a hoard steeped in vengeance—and adventurers are already dying to claim it. Within lie three distinct entrances, each guarded by lethal riddles and unforgiving logic. Prime-numbered death traps. Sentient arcane platforms that punish imbalance. A druidic study where failure means immolation—and rebirth. Every challenge rewards observation, deduction, and restraint. Brute force alone will get you killed. At the dungeon’s heart waits a cenotaph bound by oath and silence, a descending shaft into stranger horrors, and a hoard that does not forgive greed. Take too much, and the dungeon will take everything.
This is an eighteen page dungeon of seven rooms (five, really) is a sloppy moneygrab of a “puzzle” dungeon. No one cares.
You know, I know I’ve got this informal list in my head of publishers and designers that just churn shit out and do not give a shit about it. I’m sure, also, that I forget them from time to time as they disappear, and thus if they reappear I’m likely to get suckered in again. What strikes me is that in the avalanche of crap these folks do not stand out. I should keep a list or something on the website, a Hall of Infamy or some such.
Let us start by looking ta the cover for this adventure. Can you read the text at the bottom of the cover? The blurb? Green on green in a fun font? Isn’t the purpose of the cover to draw you in and make you want to buy it? No one cared to look at it and think that, hey, maybe that’s not a good idea? Of course not.
This adventure is in the OSR category on DriveThru. “OSR” it says. The blurb also says “The Green Dungeon is a lethal, puzzle-forward fantasy adventure designed for 5th edition play”. Hmmm, copy/paste mistake? No, not at all. It’s a full on 5e adventure. Skill checks. 5e stat blocks. There has been absolutely no effort made AT ALL to make this an OSR adventure. They just took a 5e adventure and slapped it in the OSR category. A few more bucks to make, I guess. I’m sure there’s an apology in the future that says there was a mistake made and it should not be in the OSR category. Baby, I don’t know how that lipstick got on my collar, it must be a conspiracy! And no one will care. There is no cosmic karma. There is no god. Gygax will not come down and smite you with his ring. Hubris! Chutzpah! But THIS snake oil actually works! Oh, yeah, the adventure was not available when I purchased it. There was a PDF available for download. It was actually, once downloaded, just the cover. Nothing more, the same photo from the listing. Joy. No one cares. And why should they? The demon-haunted world was Sagen, not Nietzsche. Level?! Pfft,
Ok, so, puzzle dungeon. Some kind of archaeologists find some shit and there are three entrances, each four miles apart. Oh, yeah, this is some kind of druid/romans/templar shit, but whatever. Four miles apart. All three entrances lead to the same chamber, so, you’re actually doing whatever door you come in and the five or so rooms after that. Also, no mention of that four mile slog under the ground. Why are they four miles apart? It doesn’t matter to the adventure. No one cares.
Inside of each room you face a puzzle. There will be a carving with words on it. Sometimes it’s a riddle you have to solve and say the word outloud. Sometimes it’s just a clue. There is no differentiation. Did you say the wrong word and you’re supposed to say a different word? Or is it just a clue to what you’re supposed to do? Anyway, figure out the clue and do it exactly right or save vs death/die/whatever. Hey man, you know, from memory, “five book spines
bear a faint pentagram symbol. Their titles are Buer, Basilisk, Dragon, Sanzuwu, and Wyvern. Each book’s pages are blank.” Also “The middle shelf is carved with the numbers 5, 2, 4, 3, and 8, spaced as if to hold a single book above each.” Go! You did arrange the book by number of legs, correct? That you knew by heart? No? “Each creature must make a DC 17
Dexterity saving throw. On a success, the character drops to 0 hit points and begins making death saving throws. On a failure, they are reduced to ash.” *sigh* Each room is like this. Hallway gauntlet, with a bunch of comping mouths of metal. The plaque reads “I am indivisible except by one, within a decade, my timer runs, at first I rise, and hten I fall, only to rise again. My sequence speaks, heed its call and soon you will know when.” Guess exactly right or make a DC 20 death save. Or die. Every room. This is just absurd.
There’s no attempt to be evocative, or format things clearly, or even describe the puzzles clearly. Just some bizarre thing for the players to figure out, and then roll vs death. “The panes only respond to living weight—they ignore objects, inorganic matter, or summoned force.” So, don’t think you’ll be clever. You will solve this the way the designer wanted you to and/or die.
When you get to the treasure room at the end, if you take more than half then you die if you don’t make a DC20 check. No warning. So, know.
.Hang on, I’m gonna add that list to my ToDo list.
This is $4 at DriveThru. The preview is six pages. It shows you six pages of little cutouts you can make for the game. It’s almost like something is being hidden … or that they didn’t care.
https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/553689/the-green-dungeon?1892600