ANKHEG

By Connor McCloskey
Black Gambeson
Knave
"12HD worth of characters"

TWO MONTHS AGO: The hedge-wizard Inatuy hired a troop of dwarven miners to excavate a sensitive area, beneath which he believes he has discovered the location of a potent magical artifact, The Key of the Condemned, rumored to allow a dying man to entrap his executioner at the moment of death, and live on. The dwarves made swift progress, and the hedge-wizard was impressed until two weeks ago when they failed to report their status. After a second failed report, he has hired a contingent of adventurers to investigate.

This eight page adventure presents about eighteen linear rooms in a dwarf mine. It’s Aliens, but with ankheg. Decent descriptions some nice horror elements. I am unfairly turned off by the directness of the appeal to Aliens rather than In The Spirit Of. 

I hate comedy adventures. Just to be clear, this isn’t one, I’m just saying that I LOATHE them. Some humor in an adventure is fine, but I don’t like joke adventures. D&D doesn’t have to be serious, but when humor comes in it works better than when it is forced in. But, let’s say I come across the greatest comedy adventure ever. It’s perfect in every single way. Except it’s a joke adventure. All Mordenkainen Movie Studios and shit. There is no reason for me to hate it. ID STILL FUCKING HATE IT. 

This is Aliens. Some wizard gets some dwarves to go find the key of blah blah blah and they excavate a mineshaft to do it. Wizzo doesn’t hear from them for two weeks so he sends you see what they are up to. You find the place looks deserted, somewhat wrecked, and signs/body horror slowly reveals itself. So far I’m down and loving this. A nice ‘inspired by’ idea, but this time with an ankheg next. I’m down with taking a monster from the game and trying to craft a slow burn/build up horror adventure out encountering it. 

“You arrived at the mouth of a broken dwarven mine lift shaft in a small natural cave, chains dangling down into darkness with no sign of the lift itself. Small natural rivulets of water leak from the surrounding cave, and the sound of clinking chains & dripping water echo somberly up from the dark.” Hey, so that’s not bad! Chains DANGLING downRivluts LEAKING from wall, The sound of CLINKING chains. Somberly is a little purple, but whatever, it’s a decent description. And, as the entrance to The Mythic Underworld it’s not bad either! In that hole adventure awaits! How you getting down? Or, how about “Smell of vomit near unbearable. Once a cozy set of stables, the straw and dirt here are slick with the pulpy remains of three emulsified mules. Two large puddles of some sort of caustic biological waste burn the nose and block the path ahead.” The room title here is “Grisley Stable”, so the “once a zo stable” portion might be redundant, but it’s also not droning on, so we’ll let it slide. Otherwise, smell of vomit, caustic puddles, burning the nose, PULPY remains? Sounds great! This is all a part of the build up. Getting the party on edge. Really earning that first ankheg warrior attack. That attack, mot likely coming as a wandering encounter, will be earned and SO much more than just an attack thanks to the build up these early rooms provide. Nicely done.

Th dwarves had a pet badger, Jonesey, who is happy to see you, and gets visibly nervous when there are hidden monsters near. Ok. Sure. Lizard the little dwarf girl is hiding in a hole, the last survivor. Uh. Ok. There’s a sensor crystal to track incoming hostiles. Come on man. This isn’t an homage anymore. There’s a clay colum called Wehlun, or whatever that name is, who is a little sketchy, or can be. Dwarf chick is trapped in wall, half live. Uh huh. And, of course, there’s: “DWARVEN BURROWER (RM. 15 / 12): Large walking dwarven mining machine mech suit” 

You lost me man.

I was pretty much down for a horror thing with ankheg, and taking some vibes from Alien/Aliens. But this is on the edge of farce territory, or at least a direct retheming. Sensor crystals. Recording crystals. Nah, I’m out.

Should you be out? Meh. It’s essentially a linear map. So you’re having “ an experience” rather than doing an osr rpg. Which maybe you’re cool with. The descriptions are fine, the build up is chill. The body horror has elements of The Thing without leaning too heavy there, The elements are all here. I just can’t run something this linear or something that is this close of a emulation of a movie. 

Perhaps, though, there’s something original by the same designer?

This is free at DriveThru.

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/548230/ankheg?1892600