Illusions

[Beoric]

A few questions for consideration:
a) Is it clear that rocks are on the left and forest/beach on the right?
b) Is it obvious where the water is? Is it too dark/light?
c) Is the forest better with (bottom) or without (top) outlines? Is the fractal canopy too weird?
d) sepia or pure black & white? Or more colors?
e) Is it distracting to switch the color (black/white) of the numbers based on the background?
f) generally too dark?

a) Yes.
b) Yes. No.
c) Unlike DP, I prefer the north forest.
d) B/W is fine, but color if you add more terrain types. Sepia is for the unnumbered player map.
e) Yes. I agree with DP, use black letters with a white outline.
f) No.

 

[DangerousPuhson]

c) Unlike DP, I prefer the north forest.

The problem I have with the North Forest is that if you didn't know it was supposed to be a forest, it just as easily looks like it could be many other things - the grassy part of a sandy island, or a mud pit, or a rocky area. I think it'd be fine if it were combined it with color, but for sepia stuff the South Forest looks much more like a forest, IMO.

 

[squeen]

This is actually very helpful.

 

[The Heretic]

Is (2) a clearing in the forest? If so, I'd agree with DP.

 

[squeen]

Is (2) a clearing in the forest? If so, I'd agree with DP.

Yes, it's suppose to be a clearing in the woods. If that's confusing, then I guess it's settled.

(Although I do agree with Beoric, the "loose" trees have a certain photorealistic appeal.)

Played with a color-overlay layer too, but I am not at all happy with it....especially the water.
My daughter has a better color sense than I. I may let her have a crack at it.

Black & White​	Sepia​	Color​

Drew the skull for a compass (not finished).

 

[Malrex]

A few questions for consideration:
a) Is it clear that rocks are on the left and forest/beach on the right?
b) Is it obvious where the water is? Is it too dark/light?
c) Is the forest better with (bottom) or without (top) outlines? Is the fractal canopy too weird?
d) sepia or pure black & white? Or more colors?
e) Is it distracting to switch the color (black/white) of the numbers based on the background?
f) generally too dark?

A. yes, yes
B. yes...I like the waves.
C. I prefer bottom forest...fractal makes sense
D. both styles work for em...I do not like the color version, but I'm just partial to black and white
E. I dont think its bad. 5 and 6 are hard to see for me. Lately, I've just been putting a white circle and the number in it..seeing the number is more important than the details in my opinion.
F. I dont think its too dark.
I also like the side profile...and the skeleton brings a nice touch.

 

[The Heretic]

I don't think the color one looks that bad.

 

[squeen]

Wrote this for area 2 on the map (clearing in the woods).

Being a literary minded chap, I thought @PrinceofNothing might enjoy the overt reference.

As usual, it got wordy...

 

[squeen]

Oh, just realized I forgot an important ability for The Beast : Irresistible Dance!

EDIT: Just occurred to me Lord of the Flies (LotF) and Lamentation of the Flame Princess (LotFP) have very similar acronyms.

 

[Malrex]

It's good Squeen...I like the ideas of it...but it IS long...a lot going on. Are the characters going to appreciate the 'fly' voice or are they going to be too busy fighting...maybe good to have the interaction first...then the boars rush in..? I am a fan of the layout.

 

[squeen]

The "attack" doesn't happen for a couple of rounds, while the boars gather in the woods around the clearing. I was thinking that's enough time for some "parley" with the Beast's voice in their heads. A chance to pass each player a note with some temptation.

I'll fix the text to make that obvious.

I need to fix the treasure in the chest too --- forgot the conch & eyeglasses!

As to format and length. I'm not sure if this format begs you to add more layers of detail...or I just have a habit of doing so (the more I think about the elements). Either way, there's probably ways of saying things more briefly than I have done (or am wont to do).

I thought about shortening the TACTICS entry and letting the stat-block do all the heavy lifting...dunno why I hesitate.

Wouldn't it be nice if details-you-can-easily-skip could earn you a pardon on @bryce0lynch 's "too wordy" scale.

Anyway, thanks for the help Malrex. I am learning for you.

 

[Malrex]

It's hard for me to really dig into this on the forum...but going to try. These are all just suggestions.
The first paragraph is good.
I feel like pigs head should go next, THEN encounter....that would show me that the flies may start to talk first--because that's cool--and makes sense as a distraction so the wereboars can get into position.
I like the examples of what the flies are saying.

Tactics--its too much to scan. Maybe do bullet points for that section. I'm almost wondering if the stats of ALL the monsters should go first, then tactics...because as someone reads through the monsters, they become familiar with the opponents, then can read the tactics of how to play em? For example, you explain the powers of the demon in the tactics section, when maybe that would be more appropriate in the statblock? Looks like it may be bugging you too...I think its good to have the tactics section, just needs to be more streamlined.

The Stick--seems like it should go at the end by the treasure. It feels like it breaks up the flow of the monster statblocks/tactics. Even though its second in the first paragraph, just seems out of place? Unless its needed to slay the demon or something, which doesn't seem to be needed.

I think rooms/areas of this length DO have a place in an adventure, but if every room starts looking like this, it just gets overwhelming where every little thing does something. For example, the stick--it's not doing much for me. I LIKE the item, but it kinda gets out-shined by everything else that's happening in the area....does that makes sense? I'd almost say focus more on the pearls...maybe if demon dies, the pearls shatter and some random dude pops out of the pearl for some roleplay interaction, heck, maybe its even an old pirate leader to match the geas.

But I do like the formatting. TACTICS and TRAP with the boxes--good stuff.

Remind me never to loot in your campaign.

 

[Beoric]

It would be really, really good if you removed the literary allusion. The allusion makes it familiar, it would be a good deal more horrifying if the PCs encountered it without that touchstone to ground them.

 

[squeen]

It would be really, really good if you removed the literary allusion. The allusion makes it familiar, it would be a good deal more horrifying if the PCs encountered it without that touchstone to ground them.

How much? The title? They would never see or hear that.

...or all of it?---pig-on-a-stick, etc

 

[Beoric]

I guess it depends on how likely you think your players are to work it out. It would be a risk for me.

You don't need much of a change though. Even changing the pig's head to a pig corpse would do it.

 

[squeen]

I could just refer to it as a boar's head. That might obscure it enough.

Without the title, my players are probably not expecting Lord of the Flies in the (otherwise normal) medieval D&D setting, but you make a great point.

 

[DangerousPuhson]

Just needs some cosmetic changes - the theme of the encounter is sound. The crunch could stand to be a bit more condensed (you know how the all-reviewing-one feels about overly-lengthy entries).

How about a giant, pig-sized rat instead of a pig? Still has that sickly, infestation vibe. Its followers would then be were-rats, and it could talk through the little rats that gather around its pole.

Or how about the head is a sprite-like pixie creature impaled to the ground rather violently, but because it's possessed it shows no signs of suffering and speaks in a very un-pixie voice. The bonus here is that good-hearted players will try to relieve the pixie suffering, which means they're more likely to touch it with their hands...

 

[squeen]

Just needs some cosmetic changes - the theme of the encounter is sound. The crunch could stand to be a bit more condensed (you know how the all-reviewing-one feels about overly-lengthy entries).

I am going to have another crack at shortening it. Good call.

How about a giant, pig-sized rat instead of a pig? Still has that sickly, infestation vibe. Its followers would then be were-rats, and it could talk through the little rats that gather around its pole.

No chance then of me pulling off the elusive Swine Trifecta then (see previous pig).
But Beoric did have a great point about how the familiar feels safe. That's a universal lesson we can all mull over.

Or how about the head is a sprite-like pixie creature impaled to the ground rather violently, but because it's possessed it shows no signs of suffering and speaks in a very un-pixie voice. The bonus here is that good-hearted players will try to relieve the pixie suffering, which means they're more likely to touch it with their hands...

There's another sprite-like creature I've got in mind for the island. But, y'all are very welcome to take this and twisted for your own home use.

As always, thank you very much for the helpful feedback/discussion. I can't see my own Achilles' Heel(s).

 

[squeen]

An attempt to draw a map of the next likely adventure location:

...a natural feature called Dragonshead Ford...for (I hope) obvious reason.



The map turned into a just perspective drawing because top-down waterfalls suck.

I got the vanishing point totally wrong, so squashed it vertically in GIMP --- helped a bit.

Kinda sucks. Shadows/lighting is inconsistent. Too small. Boring viewpoint. Etc.
Maybe it can be saved (or redrawn).

Hopefully obvious to them it's rocky on one side and forest on the other.

...and that an army crossing anywhere other than at the ford would be problematic.

Probably needs some figures in for scale.

Ugh. Trees. (Need shadows).

I was printing out this section of my campaign book yesterday and confirmed that this figure from July 2020 (above) was the SUCK, so I started to layout a redo.

While it may sit fallow for another yet another 4 years, slow and (un)steady progress wins the race, right? (Maybe?)

Still difficult for me: falling water (needs a parabolic arc?) & statues that are obvious stone and not grey flesh.

Incidentally, the older image is when it really slapped me in the face I had better start learning proper perspective drawing techniques. While I only approximated it roughly in the new layout, at least these days I have a clue on "the maths" when it's time to do it properly.

The players have crossed over this water feature about 6 times in the last four years and still haven't found the hidden treasure vault.