It's hard for me to really dig into this on the forum...but going to try. These are all just suggestions.
The first paragraph is good.
I feel like pigs head should go next, THEN encounter....that would show me that the flies may start to talk first--because that's cool--and makes sense as a distraction so the wereboars can get into position.
I like the examples of what the flies are saying.
Tactics--its too much to scan. Maybe do bullet points for that section. I'm almost wondering if the stats of ALL the monsters should go first, then tactics...because as someone reads through the monsters, they become familiar with the opponents, then can read the tactics of how to play em? For example, you explain the powers of the demon in the tactics section, when maybe that would be more appropriate in the statblock? Looks like it may be bugging you too...I think its good to have the tactics section, just needs to be more streamlined.
The Stick--seems like it should go at the end by the treasure. It feels like it breaks up the flow of the monster statblocks/tactics. Even though its second in the first paragraph, just seems out of place? Unless its needed to slay the demon or something, which doesn't seem to be needed.
I think rooms/areas of this length DO have a place in an adventure, but if every room starts looking like this, it just gets overwhelming where every little thing does something. For example, the stick--it's not doing much for me. I LIKE the item, but it kinda gets out-shined by everything else that's happening in the area....does that makes sense? I'd almost say focus more on the pearls...maybe if demon dies, the pearls shatter and some random dude pops out of the pearl for some roleplay interaction, heck, maybe its even an old pirate leader to match the geas.
But I do like the formatting. TACTICS and TRAP with the boxes--good stuff.
Remind me never to loot in your campaign.