{"id":8608,"date":"2023-06-10T07:11:00","date_gmt":"2023-06-10T11:11:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/?p=8608"},"modified":"2023-05-30T08:05:39","modified_gmt":"2023-05-30T12:05:39","slug":"lair-of-the-frog","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/?p=8608","title":{"rendered":"Lair of the Frog"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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By Chaoclypse\nSelf Published\nGeneric\/Cairn\nLevel ?<\/pre>\n\n\n\n
The Lair contains dark, eldritch secrets and way, way, too many frogs. Survive its horrors, and you may eventually be granted audience with the mythical Frog God\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This twelve page digest adventure features a dungeon with twelve rooms and six outdoor locations. And I\u2019m using \u201clocations\u201d very loosely here. Because te designer seems to have forgotten the primary purpose of an adventure. IE: this is garbage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSpecial Thanks to Chris McDowall for his helpful posts and videos on adventure creation.\u201d Ought oh! I don\u2019t know shit about McDowall, I think?, but I do know that endorsement, of Chris, by this designers, is eyebrow raising, after reviewing this adventure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because tis Crap. Let us look at the hook. It is, of course, a d6 table. Because the designer does not understand randomness and its purpose in an adventure. Anyway, our hooks are \u201cYou love frogs.\u201d or \u201cYou hate frogs.\u201d   or \u201cRumors of treasure.\u201d and so it goes. Yes, I know, we don\u2019t need hooks. But, when offered, we do expect more than this, correct? No? We\u2019ve given up all hope of anything and everything? Nothing makes sense anymore? Everything is meaningless, now, in 2023. Time to talk to Ohm, my friend!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ok, ok, let\u2019s look at the actual adventure. The one with a content warning for \u201cBody horror, Hallucinogens, Cults\u201d. Let\u2019s see here. We\u2019ve got a short wilderness crawl before getting to the frog lair. It\u2019s six locations, five of which you\u2019ll visit, so, essentially a linear wilderness. Oh. They all fit on one page. Oh. Let\u2019s see, location one is \u201cThe border between the outside world and the valley of the frogs. The journey starts perilously, and climbing down the hills is difficult.\u201d Oh, wait, that the adventure summary. The real location is \u2026 oh, no, that IS the location. That\u2019s location one. Good luck suckers! \u201cStarts perilously\u201d Fuck off man. Fuck right off. You know its the designers fucking job to define what \u201cstart perilously\u201d means, right? Location 5, the Weel. \u201cWell, well well. It\u2019s a well. Those foolish enough to climb inside find \u2026\u201d That\u2019s it. Nothing more. No table of whats inside even. This is utter and complete garbage. I\u2019m fucking insulted, for the fucking hobby, by this \u201cadventure.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
THe reallair if twelve rooms on four pages. Each room gets lots of space for all of those fucking door\/exit descriptions that some of you fuckwits insist is worthwhile. Bask ye heathens in the glow of \u201cPassageway to an intersection leading to four and five.\u201d Yeah, verily, the best of all exit descriptions! Perhaps rivaled only by \u201cDoor to four!\u201d Fuck you all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Our room descriptions have a header, like \u201cTadpole nest\u201d which is good. The descriptions come in bullets, ose style, which is a decent format. But, the designer doesn\u2019t know how to use them. \u201cPile of unusually large tadpoles\u201d is not a description for the nest. It brings little to life. Oh, oh, the treasure room! \u201cPiles of green jewels and treasure.\u201d I fucking hate my life. THis is what it has become. This shit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You know, there was a chance here. The wandering table, perhaps the only thing in the adventure with ANY decent ideas, has this entry, which is by far the best \u201cLarge tadpoles carried in the arms of human-sized bipedal frog\u201d Meh. But, nursing from a human that is carrying it? That would indeed be the body horror and culty shit we were promised? Cause there is no body horror and no cults, from the warning, in this adventure. At all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is $3 at DriveThru. The preview is six pages. You get to see that wilderness crawl. No, thats the crawl, not a summary of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
https:\/\/www.drivethrurpg.com\/product\/439334\/Lair-of-the-Frog-God?1892600<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Chaoclypse Self Published Generic\/Cairn Level ? The Lair contains dark, eldritch secrets and way, way, too many frogs. Survive its horrors, and you may eventually be granted audience with the mythical Frog God\u2026 This twelve page digest adventure features … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8607,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,33,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8608","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-do-not-buy-ever-2","category-my-life-is-a-living-fucking-hell","category-reviews"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/frog.jpeg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8608","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8608"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8608\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8609,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8608\/revisions\/8609"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8607"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8608"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8608"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8608"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}