{"id":8603,"date":"2023-06-07T07:11:00","date_gmt":"2023-06-07T11:11:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/?p=8603"},"modified":"2023-05-25T09:52:35","modified_gmt":"2023-05-25T13:52:35","slug":"a-taste-of-the-goods","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/?p=8603","title":{"rendered":"A Taste of the Goods"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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By Grant Howitt\nSoulmuppet Publishing\nBest Left Behind\/OSR\nLevel 1?<\/pre>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Cryptdiggers are hired to reclaim a wizard\u2019s stolen property: bandits hijacked a shipment of potions to their dilapidated fort half a day\u2019s ride from the city. Retrieving the box of special black-bottled potions is paramount\u2014anything else is simply useful to sell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This four page adventure is set in a ruined fort (which means a small thirteen room manor?)  There are decent imagery descriptions scattered throughout, but the entire thing is one of the most confusing masses of text I\u2019ve ever seen in my life. It\u2019s also most like the layout was randomized. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ok, so, I think some bandits got ahold of some magic potions and drank them. That\u2019s about all I am sure of. Seriously. That\u2019s about it. Cause this thing is a FUCKING MESS. \u201cLayout by Jean Verne.\u201d with three different editors and THIS thing is the result? More on that in a bit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
First we note the nice things. It\u2019s got some ok imagery in the descriptive text. \u201cRUBBISH PILE Rubble and bones, shattered glass and a horse\u2019s yellow-green corpse. Two Dogs gnaw at the horse.\u201d or \u201cFINE BEDROOM Presently damp and grim with plants growing up the walls.\u201d I like the damp and fine combination. It gives the picture of moldy, peeling wallpaper and dripping plaster ceilings. And that\u2019s what good writing should do: provide more than the words on the page. Mouldering tables, scorched tapestries, lumps of meat, \u201cVomit and filth in the far corner\u201d in a room with two bandits passed out in it. I\u2019m there!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But, the problems here are many.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There\u2019s a map. It has no key. \u201cDormitories\u201d are shown in the text. Where is it on the map? WHo knows. \u201cWashroom\/Chapel\u201d where is it on the map? No idea. Seriously, it\u2019s just a little hand drawn map and there is NO indication, AT ALL, where the various rooms are supposed to be. It\u2019s label after label in the adventure buyt nothing on the map.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And the text is mostly just a confusing mass. \u201cYou can squeeze through the burned out rooms damaged wall\u201d one of the rooms tells us. Uh \u2026 ok. Where is that? Why is it in this room? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Perhaps my favorite is this text. We just got a description of the ARea, telling us about a nest in the rafters and ruined stone overgrown with moss. Nothing specific. And then we get the rubbish pile, that I quoted above, that ends with \u201cA wagon marked with the wizards sigil is parked nearby.\u201d Sure. Better, I think, to put that in the area description instead of a random rubbish pile description, but, whatever. Then comes this gem:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSTORE To the south, D6 unopened potions were removed from straw-filled transport crates. To the north, a bandit\u2014 who recently drank the Red Gem and Flame potions\u2014is having a paranoid fireside conversation with a friend\u2019s corpse. He is scared the wizard sent someone to retrieve the potions and kill them. The roof was repaired using the gateway door.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TO the south of fucking what? The store? What store? There\u2019s no store been mentioned. And there\u2019s nothing on the map to indicate a store. The roof? What roof? The one to the store? WHat fucking gateway? What gateway are you referring to? WHy do I care about the roof repair? This entire thing just appears out of nowhere. I promise you I am not leaving out context. It\u2019s patchy rain and pigeons fluitterring\u201d in the Area description, with no overview, and then the rubbish pile and then this. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The trend continues throughout the adventure. Just random references to other places. Three editors. Three fucking editors. A layout person. FOR FOUR FUCKING PAGES. And you can\u2019t do something coherent with this?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have absolutely no fucking idea at all what is going on in this adventure. Bandits drink potions and get sick and mutate, I think. But, more than that, the wheres and overall context of the fort\/manor? No clue. I am completely fucking lost. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Whatever fucking idea these people had failed miserably. No order of battle. Nothing to make a whole of the individual parts. I get the feeling there is something here \u2026 hence the great imagery, but it\u2019s so addled that me and my sixth grade education can\u2019t figure it out. Back to being a double nought spy I guess!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is $3 at the publishers webstore. No preview. WHich is a good thing because $3 for four pages would probably mean I wouldn’t buy it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nA Doom To Speak – A Taste of the Goods<\/a>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Grant Howitt Soulmuppet Publishing Best Left Behind\/OSR Level 1? The Cryptdiggers are hired to reclaim a wizard\u2019s stolen property: bandits hijacked a shipment of potions to their dilapidated fort half a day\u2019s ride from the city. Retrieving the box … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8602,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8603","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-reviews"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/TasteoftheGoods.webp","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8603","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8603"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8603\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8604,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8603\/revisions\/8604"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8602"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8603"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8603"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8603"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}