{"id":8395,"date":"2023-01-23T07:14:00","date_gmt":"2023-01-23T12:14:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/?p=8395"},"modified":"2023-01-10T09:17:44","modified_gmt":"2023-01-10T14:17:44","slug":"blackmore","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/?p=8395","title":{"rendered":"Blackmore"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
By Eric Garneau\nCritical Lit Publishing\nOSE\nLevels 1-2<\/pre>\n\n\n\n
Suspended high above the land by magicks unknown, the magnificent Castle Blackmore stands as the sole remaining triumph of a civilization long past. But every Year of the Fox, for but one day, a luminous rainbow bridge appears to connect the lands below to the castle above. What treasures does Castle Blackmore hold?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is just crap. You don\u2019t need to keep reading this review.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Have I told you about my band, Mic Check? We get up on stage at your local dining pub, crank up the amps, and spend two hours just (badly) tuning our instruments. and saying “Check check.” My band has more merit than this adventure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s got 44 digits pages and has three adventures. It\u2019s inspired by Deep Purple? & Dio? That\u2019s metal from the \u2026 60s? Early 70\u2019s? Ok, so,  this is either boomer or some kind of music dude that also likes D&D. And has, presumably, never actually seen a D&D adventure. And thus we get this thing of a shit-fest. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The first adventure, the only one I could make it through, is fourteen pages long. It has a \u201creally fun role play encounter\u201d and then a six room temple \u2026 in which four of the rooms are on one page. How this thing managed to get to fourteen pages is beyond me. I mean, I know, it\u2019s my fake job to know, I\u2019m just incredulous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, you want to make it to the magic castle in the sky. TO get there you have to take a circular tunnel in the side of a mountain. You go through it to find a room with a wizard in it. He tells you that to get to the castle you need to open a frozen door and that he\u2019s forgotten all of his fire magic. Great. You thaw the door, go through the passage to see a temple. All of that takes four pages. We\u2019ll get back to that. The temple is one one big room, four smaller rooms hanging off of it and a basement. The basement has 2d4 sahuagin in it. That you have to fight to continue on. Those are what \u2026 2HD? Yeah, levels 1-2. Right.You get a ring off of one of them, stick it in the alter up to and you\u2019re done \u2026 you summon the rainbow bridge to the sky castle. Fourteen fucking pages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That initial four pages of text? That\u2019s just paragraph after paragraph of \u201cand then this happens and then this happens and then this happens\u201d sprinkled in with a lot of \u201cand as a DM you could do this or as a DM you could do this or as a DM you could also throw this at the players.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
 And long fucking italics that is hard to read. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
 An din the adventure advice like \u201cplay up their grotesque description\u201d \u2026 without any description for the DM to play up. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And commentary in the text like \u201cbut where is that object?\u201d  addressed to \u2026 theDM? The players? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And other commentary in the descriptions like \u201cthey are possibly remnants of the temples earlier inhabitants or perhaps among its meanest primal antagonists\u201d This is in reference to the sahuagin. Who the fuck cares about that? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is just nonsense. There\u2019s little semblance or organization at all. Just a whole lot of words that are padding. No help to the DM in running it, either in the descriptions or the formatting or anything else. Your interactivity is putting a ring the sahuagin have in to the alter in the main room. And, I guess, thawing an obviously frozen door? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah, I\u2019m not explaining why anything is bad this morning. I\u2019m not explaining what to do better. I really don\u2019t give shit, after reading this. If you\u2019re going to make no effort at all then why should I?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is $8 at DriveThru. The preview is six pages. Go ahead and summer through the last couple. It\u2019s representative.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
https:\/\/www.drivethrurpg.com\/product\/419845\/Blackmore-A-Rock–Roll-Adventure-Module?1892600<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Eric Garneau Critical Lit Publishing OSE Levels 1-2 Suspended high above the land by magicks unknown, the magnificent Castle Blackmore stands as the sole remaining triumph of a civilization long past. But every Year of the Fox, for but … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8391,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,29,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8395","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-do-not-buy-ever-2","category-dungeons-dragons-adventure-review","category-reviews"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/419845.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8395","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8395"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8395\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8396,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8395\/revisions\/8396"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8391"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8395"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8395"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8395"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}