{"id":8341,"date":"2022-12-19T07:11:00","date_gmt":"2022-12-19T12:11:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/?p=8341"},"modified":"2022-12-06T10:05:07","modified_gmt":"2022-12-06T15:05:07","slug":"tower-of-the-chronomancer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/?p=8341","title":{"rendered":"Tower of the Chronomancer"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
By Sean C. Sexton\nSelf Published\n5e\nLevels 5-6<\/pre>\n\n\n\n
I beg your indulgence, gentle readers<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Standing on a grassy hilltop, it seems unremarkable from a distance. Two stories high, cylindrical, thatched roof. Simple and idyllic. There’s even a whisper on the breeze, or maybe a thought in the back of your mind: There’s nothing to see here. What brought you in the first place? Just turn around and go back. Those that venture nearer find that it’s much more than meets the eye. The closer you get, the taller the tower seems to be… until standing at its base, the tower rises dozens of floors and pierces the sky. Do you have the courage to enter the unknown sanctum? What could possibly await you within? Gather your allies and find out!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This 42 page overly formatted and linear \u201cchallenge\u201d tower uses about 22 pages to present about thirteen rooms\/challenges. Flowery text. Despair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m in this liquor store. I\u2019m trying to make some hot chocolate from the French alps. Which basically means its like normal hot chocolate but they dump some chartreuse in it. So, hey don\u2019t have any, surprise, and dude sees me looking and is like \u201ccan I help you?\u201d and I\u2019m like \u201clooking for chartreuse\u201d and he checks the computer and is like Yeah, we normally carry it but we\u2019re out. And that sucks, I know there was a shortage, but still? And, also, this shit ass little liquor store, sandwiched between a cigar shop and a sex toy shop, with, like three aisles in it, stocks chartreuse? So, anyway, I ended up with a bottle of anus flavoured sambuca, which is going to sit the fuck around the house forever, so, I put it in my coffee. Not bad, for anus. No, but, it will make the bottle go away. So, I\u2019m deep in to it now. As I look at this adventure. With a resignation in my eyes. You know, that kind of defeated sigh you give? Weary eyes. Shoulders slumped down and forward. Head nodded. My whole face feels tired. So scarlet they were maroon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Okey doke folks! How did that make you feel? Ok, and how does this line from the adventure make you feel? \u201c\u201cYou should not have come here, but this timeline is already ruined. Can you finish what I started? Can you understand true devotion?\u201d No? Throwing up a little? What if I added that there\u2019s a violin version of Seal\u2019s Kiss From a Rose playing?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s a challenge dungeon. I fucking hate challenge dungeons. It is the modern equivalent of putting one long hallway with a bunch of doors hanging off of it. They are SOOOOOO supremely low effort. And each fuuucking room starts with some dude giving you a clue. Hence that Can You Understand True Devotion crap. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Have I mentioned I also hate it when the text addresses the party? Like \u201ccan YOU understand \u2026\u201d Or the read-aloud that ends with \u201cWhat brought you here to begin with? Do you turn back?\u201d You know what, if a fucking DM ever asks me that then I\u2019m going to turn the fuck back. Yeah, you know, I shouldn’t ruin a game, but Jesus H FUCKING Christ, there have got to be some limits as to what you can put up with. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ok, so like thirteen levels and you need to complete each one. You don\u2019t get to walk up stairs, you get to use the teleportation circles. You know it before I type it: you have to complete the rooms challenge before the circle will teleport you to the next room. *sigh* Because whatever. Which floor you go to is completely random. Unless you don\u2019t want it to be. Then the recommended order is 2, 5, 10, 3, 4, 9, 6, 8, 7, 11, and then 12. Because 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12 would not make sense? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When you walk up to the tower you have to make a DC12 investigation check to find the door. I wonder how many parties fail that check? Does the DM fudge? Do they say \u201cWell, no adventure for you tonight?\u201d Do no parties every fail because DC 12 is trivial for a group of sixes? Oh, also, KNOCK doesn\u2019t work on the front door because Fuck You solve the fucking riddle. This is not how D&D works. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe tower seems unremarkable\u201d We don\u2019t do that. We do not use seems or appears to be. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou may only hold one Tempus Rose at a time.\u201d Why? How? I can\u2019t physically hold more than one? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIn the event the party can\u2019t fly, climb, or otherwise reach the [elevated] exit \u2026\u201d then the DM is instructed to lower the exit to their level. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why even bother anymore?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I guess I botched about the formatting. I should cover that. Bolding. Underlining. Bolded and underlined. Boxed text. Shaded text. Blue text. Different type of shaded text. SOlid bullets. Open bullets. Bolded and larger font. Another different type of background shading for text. Red text. Orange text. A different color of blue text. Italics. Green text. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes designers go off the deep end in trying to make things clear, and this is an example of that. In trying to make things clear you make the text too busy to follow. Don\u2019t do that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is $4 at DriveThru. Preview is seven pages. You get to see several pages of the adventure, so, look upon it and despair! But, hey, great job with the preview man!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
https:\/\/www.drivethrurpg.com\/product\/402142\/Tower-of-the-Chronomancer?1892600<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Sean C. Sexton Self Published 5e Levels 5-6 I beg your indulgence, gentle readers Standing on a grassy hilltop, it seems unremarkable from a distance. Two stories high, cylindrical, thatched roof. Simple and idyllic. There’s even a whisper on … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8338,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,29,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8341","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-5e","category-dungeons-dragons-adventure-review","category-reviews"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/chrono.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8341","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8341"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8341\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8345,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8341\/revisions\/8345"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8338"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8341"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8341"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8341"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}