{"id":8198,"date":"2022-09-19T07:11:00","date_gmt":"2022-09-19T11:11:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/?p=8198"},"modified":"2022-09-08T10:29:24","modified_gmt":"2022-09-08T14:29:24","slug":"labia-the-strange-case-of-the-cursed-vagina","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/?p=8198","title":{"rendered":"Labia – The Strange Case of the Cursed Vagina"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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By Silvia Clemente, Miguel Ribeiro\nThe Red ROom\nB\/X & Wretched Bastards\nLevel ?<\/pre>\n\n\n\n
The Red Room<\/p>\n\n\n\n
B\/X & Wretched Bastards<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Level ?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Princess Lisabetta, the precious daughter of the King of Riget, has been cursed by her evil aunt. Between her legs, Lisabetta now has a monstrous carnivorous “octopussy”. To bring the princess back to her natural self, an intrepid group of wretched adventurers must venture into the maze-like Citadel of Berleng and destroy the evil witch. But in a world of bastards, nothing is as simple as it seems and a dark, forbidden secret that will shake Riget is about to be revealed\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This 29 page adventure uses some number of pages to describe fourteen rooms in a dungeon. That might be under a castle? Maybe on an island? I don\u2019t know. It\u2019s some kind of funhouse thing that doesn\u2019t actually describe ANYTHING. And I\u2019m using a VERY loose definition of \u201cdescribe.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe princess has a monster for a pussy\u201d made me think this was LotFP, but, no, it\u2019s for Wretched Bastards, some kind of B\/X campaign world thing. Anyway, hang on \u2026 \u201cOh, my! I\u2019m shocked! How disgusting! My sensibilities are in a kerfluffle!\u201d There, was that chill? Did I do an adequate job at being shocked? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Whatever. There\u2019s almost nothing here. The king sends you to go kill his sister, the aunt. She\u2019s in some castle on some island. And I\u2019m not summarizing by much here, this is about how much information you get. Or, specifically \u201cThe unlucky bastards that take the challenge must reach the island, enter the citadel, find countess Golithya.\u201d That\u2019s the extent you get about the island and citadel. You do get a fourteen romo dungeon though!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The fourteen rooms have numbers on them. The numbers have a little key at the bottom at the map. \u201c7- The Tar Pool\u201d or \u201c2- The Skeleton Office.\u201d You don\u2019t actually get keyed entries though. The fucking text just says \u201cThe Tar Pool\u201d or \u201cThe Skeleton Office.\u201d This pisses me off to no end. It\u2019s like they just started writing the words backwards for no fucking reason. Why fucking do this? Did you make the product easier to use by doing this? Is it easier to find the rooms from the map in the text because of this? No? It\u2019s a lot harder, you say? Then why the fuck do it? I\u2019ve said it before and I\u2019ll say it again, I\u2019m tempted to utterly fail every adventure from now on that does this. Fucking useless for running the thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ah, but about the keyed entries themselves? What about them? \u201cThe lion lies asleep in a chamber close to the citadel’s entrance. A scrambled map can be found among the bones and half-eaten carcasses on the lion’s den; it points to a treasure hidden in a Citadel’s chamber.\u201d That\u2019s room one. Or, rather, \u201cThe Sleeping Lion\u2019s Den.\u201d Where does it point? To which room? Nope, you\u2019re not getting that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This abstraction is present throughout the adventure and, I assert, the a design decision. Someone, somewhere, thinks that this is the right way to do things, otherwise it wouldn\u2019t be so consistent in its application.\u201dThis room appears to be some kind of office.\u201d No, it\u2019s an office. \u201cIf the characters tart to look around then \u2026\u201d No, no if\/then statements. Also, nothing happens in this room. A skeleton comes to life and then crumbles to dust. But, more to the point \u201c\u201dThere is a hidden door in the room; if the characters detect and unlock it they will find a well-stocked armoury,\u201d Perhaps my favorite is \u201cIn the pool lies a treasure chest filled with jewels and gold, but the bounty is too heavy to be carried.\u201d \u2026 with no other words or details. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Seriously, this is Indi RPG levels of detail here. \u201cMaybe do something related to this keyword or something. \u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In the end, this is nothing more than an abstracted funhouse dungeon. Random shit appearing in seemingly random rooms that is not well described. I would hesitate to even call this an adventure, PARTICULARLY given the issues with the map keys.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is $2.50 at DriveThru. Reve in the eight page preview that shows you nothing of the room keys. Such that they are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
https:\/\/www.drivethrurpg.com\/product\/408407\/Labia-The-Strange-Case-of-the-Cursed-Vagina?1892600<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Silvia Clemente, Miguel Ribeiro The Red ROom B\/X & Wretched Bastards Level ? The Red Room B\/X & Wretched Bastards Level ? Princess Lisabetta, the precious daughter of the King of Riget, has been cursed by her evil aunt. … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8197,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8198","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dungeons-dragons-adventure-review","category-reviews"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/labia.jpeg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8198","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8198"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8198\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8199,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8198\/revisions\/8199"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8197"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8198"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8198"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8198"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}