{"id":7801,"date":"2022-02-21T07:28:00","date_gmt":"2022-02-21T12:28:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/?p=7801"},"modified":"2022-02-07T19:32:37","modified_gmt":"2022-02-08T00:32:37","slug":"altrairs-hideout","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/?p=7801","title":{"rendered":"Altrair’s Hideout"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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By Maitre Corbeau\nSelf Published\n5e\nLevel 3<\/pre>\n\n\n\n
A nice inn, a warm fireplace and someone to bet your precious coins, what could be better to start an adventure that this ? I offer you Altrair’s hideout, a quest filled with puzzles and tricks, deceptions and big rewards… maybe ?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This eight page dungeon features eight rooms. It\u2019s a funhouse dungeon. I am filled with the regrets of a thousand lifetimes. The mourning of the deaths of all possible futures given the choices of the past and their inevitable consequences for the predestination that they lead to. If you\u2019re feeling like I feel then run your life like it\u2019s a dance floor. And if you need a little heat in your face, that\u2019s what I\u2019m here for. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A Request! For 5e! It\u2019s not clear how many more of these I\u2019m going to handle. I\u2019m not devoid of sympathy for the 5e designers, but, it\u2019s also not my life’s mission to provide individual feedback. Hmmm, maybe I should start up my design consultation\/feedback thing again. Maybe, one thou a pop? Like they say, fifty though a year will buy a buy a lot of beer, And maybe even some shades. And maybe some therapy?  Or, I could finally get the brakes done on my truck and the rotors on my car. Now I\u2019m just rambling. If you\u2019re feeling like I feel throw your fist though the ceiling! Some people call it crazy but I call it healing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s not clear I recognize D&D anymore. Time counts and keep count. The seasons change, as do people. Well, except for me, from the day of my birth Gilgamesh was called by name. But D&D? \u2026 This adventure features one combat with four thugs. They surrender when reduced to a third of their hit points. Which, I guess is nice to see since I usually complain about fanatic opponents fighting to the death. They also deal non-lethal damage, which, I think, is a trend these days? At least, when I play 5e, I get chastised for my \u201cI stab him 76 times in throat with my pocket knife\u201d style of play. So I think it\u2019s a thing. And since this is my blog and the rest of you are just undigested bits of roast beef, that\u2019s all that counts. And keeps count. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Seriously, that\u2019s the combat.New readers just arriving will now think I\u2019m some kind of kick the door in and kill the monsters guy. A thousand times No! But, man, a bit of the old ultra-violence keeps things interesting! When it\u2019s not the only note in the cymphony.  (<—Ha! Get that one you fuckers!) What ever happened to fire and torture? Who wants to start \u2026 oh, hey, that\u2019s a really great idea! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ok, fuckers! Who wants to be an asshat with me? You gotta be a HARD piping OSR player. A team player, engaging, not a wall flower. Thinking outside the box  murder fucking hobo par exelance! It\u2019s gonna be fucking great! And, it will distract me from reviews like this one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Look, man, this dude don\u2019t deserve me. He\u2019s just some designer from Quebec writing adventures in French & English. No doubt they love D&D. And some dickhead somewhere told him to send his adventure to me for a review, maybe. That person is a dick. And, I\u2019ve got a soft spot for the Quebecois. I don\u2019t know, preserving some unique culture shit while getting fucked over by the rest of \u201cfriendly\u201d Canada and their martial law bullshit.\u00a0 Is there some pro-Quebec slogan that isn’t from de Gaulel?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s a funhouse dungeon. Eachroom is a puzzle. There\u2019s one combat. The number seven repeats in most of the puzzles, which is fun and i support. You see, you\u2019re in a bar and play some wacky game involving 7\u2019s and multiples of 7\u2019s and that theme repeats inthe dungeon, with a stair of 77 steps trapped in the same way. And seven mirrors each with phantasmal killers. And the seventh door the right one. And \u2026 you get the idea. I\u2019m supportive of the repetition<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But, the actual dungeon? It\u2019s a linear set of rooms, one after the other. The DMS\u2019s mao is labeled one through seven while the rooms in the text are not labeled with numbers but just names. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The read-aloud is not overly long but it does over-reveal, with things like \u201csome of the steps do not have footprints on them. \u201cNo. We do not say that. We say there are footprints on the steps and thenwhen the players ask we reveal that some steps do not have footprints. We do not over reveal information in read-aloud since the back and forth between DM & player is the sould of the game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There\u2019s also some very confusing text, especially in the upper levels\/outside the dungeon. This may be an EASL issue, which I am generally very forgiving of. \u201cThe stone floor underneath the arch is trapped \u2026\u201d except this the first time we\u2019ve heard of the arch, there\u2019s no map and no arch mentioned anywhere. There a rtap food in an abandoned house AND in the shed in the garden \u2026 and I\u2019m not sure which one goes to dungeon, or if they both do, or what. Or maybe it\u2019s the same hatch? It\u2019s not as big a deal as I\u2019m making it out to be, i mean, after all, there\u2019s a fucking door to the dungeon and the party enters it, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019 m less forgiving of the abstraction. One room has cool looking magical weapons. That\u2019s the desccription. Nope. You have to DESCRIBE what they look like, in way that makes people think \u201ccool\u201d, rather than putting that work of fon the DM. In a related note, there\u2019s the usual \u201ccharacters worst nightmare attacks them\u201d shit. I hate this. I know, its supposed to be meaningful, but it never is. Just come with a phantasmal killer concept and shve the character in to it all Pyramid-head style. Any time I see an adventure want to engage in any \u201ctell me what your worst X is \u201c I roll my eyes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There\u2019s also a decent amount of magical set up. Like the baddie having a magic bell that alerts his thugs, or a ready made scroll of major image to conjure a vampire illusion. It begs the suspension of disbelief. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, eight-ish puzzle with one combat, generic abstracted treasure, and nothing else. *Yawn* <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh, wait, one of the hooks is that Luke, the local priest, lost a bunch of money gamblng. Money that was not his. I love me a dirty hook! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Did I mention the bad guy is a doppelganger that makes himself look like a princess? Have you EVER actually rescued a princess D&D, or were they all poly=d dragons and succubi and doppelgangers and the like? In my next campaig \u2026 or my new secret project, there\u2019s gonna be a fucking princessin every dungeon. And lots of carnivals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Man, you don\u2019t deserve me. You didn\u2019t do anything but ask for a review. But, then again, I don\u2019t deserve this, either, do I? Or, perhaps, deserves got nothing to do with it in a search for meaning in a universe devoid of it? We want an explanation but there is none coming. Ever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is free over at the designers Patreon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
https:\/\/www.patreon.com\/posts\/altrairs-hideout-51412985<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
By Maitre Corbeau Self Published 5e Level 3 A nice inn, a warm fireplace and someone to bet your precious coins, what could be better to start an adventure that this ? I offer you Altrair’s hideout, a quest filled … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7802,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,29,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7801","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-5e","category-dungeons-dragons-adventure-review","category-reviews"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Q-Altrair-Auberge-du-lion-noir.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7801","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7801"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7801\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7803,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7801\/revisions\/7803"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/7802"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7801"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7801"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7801"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}