{"id":6100,"date":"2019-07-06T07:16:04","date_gmt":"2019-07-06T11:16:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/?p=6100"},"modified":"2019-07-08T07:24:11","modified_gmt":"2019-07-08T11:24:11","slug":"5e-belmay","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/?p=6100","title":{"rendered":"(5e) Belmey"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/belmay.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6087\" width=\"306\" height=\"396\" srcset=\"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/belmay.jpg 612w, https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/belmay-232x300.jpg 232w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 306px) 100vw, 306px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<pre class=\"wp-block-preformatted\">By Michael LaBossiere\nSelf Published\n5e\nLevels 1-4<\/pre>\n\n\n\n<p>War is coming. Two nations have set aside their differences to fulfil their historical ambition: to reclaim a province lost long ago. As with any war, arms and armor are needed and who better to claim a long-lost armory stocked with Imperial equipment than the bold adventurers? Complicating the situation is the fact that the old armory is located near the ruins of the summer estate of Count Bekus, a necromancer who was killed, beheaded, burned and interred in a special vault so that he would not plague the world again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This 37 page adventure details the exploration of a small ruined estate with about 21 locations. It\u2019s abstracted to the point of almost being an adventure outline. Interactivity is generally limited to combat, and the writing is dull with meandering DM text.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Today I\u2019m going to talk about direct and indirect illocutionary forces with regard to adventure design. Nah, I\u2019m just fucking with you;, it\u2019s The Cave, as per usual. Also, I\u2019m supposed to be nicer in these weekend reviews since A) they tend to suck more and B) the designers tend to be full of enthusiasm from their 5-star drivethru reviews. That means I\u2019ll cut out the The cave bullshit. Yes, that was all for your benefit. Go figure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let\u2019s talk good things first. Note that the folk killed, beheaded, burned, and then interred the remains in a special sealed vault. Nice! The local lords generally don\u2019t do enough patrolling of old ruins or tearing them down and digging them up\/salting the earth. Just loke town councils INSIST on sewer systems. It\u2019s good to see the local folk dealing with the necromancer effectively. Once the bad guy goes down, keep hacking and burn the body. Fire is man&#8217;s oldest friend, use it!&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This blow-off comment about a line of flavour text in the into blurb concludes my discussion of the adventures good points.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019m sure the designer here was, as is&nbsp; generally the case, excited about this effort. Enthusiasm does not a good adventure make. My belief is that designers don\u2019t know what a good adventure looks like, a good published adventure anyway. They are flooded with bad examples, from WOTC, from PAIZO, through the marketplaces. These drown out any good examples that may be hiding. If everything gets 5-stars then how are you know what is good and not good? These people face an impossible challenge. Further, attempts to divine what makes an adventure good are marred by all of the bad advice. Be it well-meaning fuckwits on forums or freelance writers with a deadline, there\u2019s almost nothing worthwhile. Well, almost nothing. Listen to voice saying Follow Me \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed-youtube wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-embed-aspect-4-3 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Frankie goes to Hollywood - Two Tribes 1984\" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/yCzH2tR6fEM?start=151&#038;feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Evocative writing is hard. Interactivity, beyond combat, is not straightforward. (See, that\u2019s me being nice.) That leaves us with Usability &#8212; Ye Olde Informatione Transfere. This is the basic point that the VAST majority of designers get wrong \u2026 before they even get to evocative writing or interactivity. They don\u2019t know how to write an adventure so it can be used at the table. This is, at its most fundamental form, the purpose of an adventure. The DM uses the adventure at the table to run it for the players. The adventures primary purpose is that. The writing, layout, and so forth MUST be oriented towards that. And the vast majority of adventures don\u2019t do that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In this adventure that applies most directly to the hook. Bob the half-orc has a mission for you and his bard buddy has some information. This is all related in a page of information formatted as paragraphs. This is poor design. For this one scene you have to an entire page of words in your head. That\u2019s foolish, right? You can\u2019t remember that much. You\u2019re gonna want to refer back to the text during play. This means scanning the text to find the thing you want. And yet the information is presented as a great text block with just a&nbsp; few paragraph breaks. Further, it\u2019s generally formatted in PLOT style. First this happens then this then this then this. This is TERRIBLE. I often talk about bolding, whitspace, offset boxes, and bullets. I\u2019m noting specific techniques toward a greater goal: Helping the DM run this section. The players want to know something and\/or you need to respond. You glance down at the page. Can you locate the information you need in less than 3 seconds? [Whatever. An \u2018instant\u2019 amount of time that doesn\u2019t delay the game and break flow.] The formatting and organization is critical to this \u2026 and its missing here.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Usually that\u2019s a problem with rooms also. Over described and too prescriptive are the usual sins. This, though, is different. It feels like the encounters are more 4e. You get a large number of locations, lets say, 12, in the upper ruins. Really ruins, just some wall remnants. The keyed encounters takes \u2026 I don\u2019t know, one column for 9 rooms \u2026 most of which is taken up by one room. Locations 4-8 are noted as \u201cThe once fine hamber hall and entrance are now but ruins.\u201d How can this be?!?! Because there\u2019s a little section before\/after noting that there is at least one zombie in rooms 6,7,8,&amp;9. (That\u2019s you level scaling for you. Remember, this is plot D&amp;D where the DM fudges everything and player agency is therefore nearly non-existent.) \u201cPut in some stirges if you want.\u201d Or, maybe, buy a well-crafted adventure if I want? Oops , sorry, I\u2019m being nice today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Anyway, it almost an outline, or 4e style. Here\u2019s a bit fucking map with a lots of rooms. There\u2019s an ooze in it roaming around. GO! It sets up a situation. IN some respects, this is a good concept, that IS how D&amp;D should be. But it feels less like adventure and wonder and Free Play&nbsp; then it does \u201cHere\u2019s a TACTICAL situation. GO!\u201d Hence the 4e comparison.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Column long stat blocks. A level range in the blurb that\u2019s different than the one in the adventure. Which is all meaningless anyway since it\u2019s all fudged with numerous implicit and explicit fudging advice to the DM. \u201cGhoul miners dug this tunnel.\u201d Why do we need to know that? It doesn\u2019t add anything to PLAYERS experience since it\u2019s just DM knowledge. That\u2019s bad. You\u2019re wasting words. Words are supposed to help the DM with PLAYER action. I\u2019m being hyperbolic here, since there\u2019s room for a little of this, but, in general, words have to have GAMEABLE meaning \u2026 why is this relevant to the players? \u201cThis temple was constructed in order to conceal his true faith.\u201d Well, maybe, but why does that matter? Constructs, who the party will never hear, mutter \u201doh my look at the mess.\u201d Sure, every once in awhile you can slip in something for the DM, but it doesn\u2019t come off like that in this adventure.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is Pay What You Want at DMSGuild, with a suggested price of $6. There\u2019s no preview. Put in a fucking preview so we know in advance what we\u2019re buying! Yeah, it\u2019s a PWYW, so the entire thing is a preview. I think I\u2019m terrified that some precedent is going to set and we\u2019ll start down the slope of the form changing and thus all the shadows following suit. Ha! Did it again!<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dmsguild.com\/product\/280959\/Belmey?1892600\">https:\/\/www.dmsguild.com\/product\/280959\/Belmey?1892600<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I leave you with this, a portion of a (potential) PC backstory, between the PC and someone who will eventually become the guard captain who gives the party the quest.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cBeing at the front of the wagon, you could see the two orcs driving it. One looked back into the wagon, holding a crossbow at the ready. He was splattered with blood and seemed eager to spill more. The other orc looked different, quite like a human and there was something softer about his eyes. As he kept looking back at you and the others, even your young eyes could see the struggle going on in his soul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As the wagon left the village, he let out a terrible howl and swung his axe clean through his fellow\u2019s neck, showering you with blood. He turned and said \u201cI can\u2019t let you go through what my mother did. I\u2019m going to save you all. Or we will die together! Hang on!\u201d You were surprised you could understand him, then you realized he was speaking common.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>How many innocent people did he kill? How many fields burned? Plagues delivered? Atrocities committed? But, saving one child absolves him of his sins? Nah, I\u2019m just fucking around. But, Tonal Mismatch much?<br><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Michael LaBossiere Self Published 5e Levels 1-4 War is coming. Two nations have set aside their differences to fulfil their historical ambition: to reclaim a province lost long ago. As with any war, arms and armor are needed and &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/?p=6100\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6087,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6100","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-5e","category-reviews"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/belmay.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6100","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6100"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6100\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6110,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6100\/revisions\/6110"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6087"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6100"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6100"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6100"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}