{"id":3618,"date":"2017-05-20T07:11:54","date_gmt":"2017-05-20T11:11:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/?p=3618"},"modified":"2017-05-10T12:15:07","modified_gmt":"2017-05-10T16:15:07","slug":"dungeon-magazine-135","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/?p=3618","title":{"rendered":"Dungeon Magazine #135"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>
\nI have a headache and I twisted my neck last night. This issue isn\u2019t helping.<\/p>\n

Funeral Procession
\nBy Mark A. Hart
\nLevel 1<\/p>\n

This is one of the stooopidiest things I\u2019ve ever seen. You\u2019r guarding a funeral procession. There\u2019s a diversion. The hearse is diverted. The body in the hearse is replaced. The original is shrunk. A raven familiar flies away with it. The town is in an uproar because of it toso the watch can\u2019t search for the famous escaped serial killer. How much fucking crap are you going to engage in to push forward your crappy plotline \u2018story\u2019? It gets better. The hearse drive is paid off and there\u2019s a thug in the back of the hearse. In spite of all of the dire warnings the party gets i the hooks, about worries of the body being stolen, etc, I guess the party didn\u2019t ride the hearse, burn the body in advance, drive the hearse, or anything else. I guess that don\u2019t jive with the \u2018story.\u2019 At there are columns of read-aloud, long NPC motivations and backstories, and and it\u2019s event based \u2026 For some reason the party cares and gets lead by the nose to a slaughterhouse stuffed full of baddies. The \u2026 passivity that a party would have to engage in in to not derail the adventure \u2026 I can\u2018t imagine.<\/p>\n

That gives me a good idea. I should start a \u2018DERAIL\u201d events at the gaming cons. Take a linear adventure and the META rule is to derail it, while the DM tries to keep it on track. Or the DM rolls with it. \u201cOn track\u201d makes it a fun contest but, of course, the DM always wins. <\/p>\n

Chains of Blackmaw
\nBy Nicolas Logue
\nLevel 10<\/p>\n

A mess of a prison break adventure. You\u2019re hired t go to jail and watch the back of a new prisoner. Event-based, with long room\/key and even longer NPC stat blocks and motivations. It needs a table summarizing the NPC\u2019s, about 60% less text with the room keys, a table showing events and timelines. I can\u2019t imagine the tenth level party who says \u201cYes! Let\u2019s get rid of all our gear and go to jail for little to no reward!\u201d Ok, fess, up, who has waded through all the text in this adventure to run it? What do you have to do to? How many pages of notes?<\/p>\n

Dawn of a New Age
\nBy Tito Leati
\nLevel 20
\nOh god \u2026 Age of Worms adventure path. At least it\u2019s the last one: Kyuss shows up. You\u2019ve got the Hand of Vecna. You\u2019ve got two parts of the Rod of Seven Parts. You\u2019re given a Sphere of Annihilation. You\u2019re given three opportunities to undertake quests to weaken Kyuss before he shows up. He\u2019s AC 59 and has 660 HP \u2026 a 3e Level 20 creature in all it\u2019s unwieldy glory. Note that nothing you\u2019ve done thus far will prevent Kyuss from arriving. That\u2019s impossible. All you can do is kill him. As an exercise for the reader: Rewrite the entire Age of Worms adventure path to be a sandbox\/regional thing using only 20% of the words. Your reward is a Cease & Desist.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have a headache and I twisted my neck last night. This issue isn\u2019t helping. Funeral Procession By Mark A. Hart Level 1 This is one of the stooopidiest things I\u2019ve ever seen. You\u2019r guarding a funeral procession. There\u2019s a … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3617,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3618","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dungeon-magazine","category-reviews"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/d135.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3618","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3618"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3618\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3619,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3618\/revisions\/3619"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3617"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3618"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3618"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tenfootpole.org\/ironspike\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3618"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}