Categories: Dungeons & Dragons Adventure ReviewGod EffortReviews

Under Mount Peikon

By Wagner
Self Published/No Artpunk 2
1e
Levels 3-8

Long time ago, under mountain named Peikon, lied the fortress-monastery beholden to guarding the most disasterous secret of dwarvenkind. A combination of prison, temple and ruin, it held the worst criminals of dwarvenkind – those whose crimes had forever severed them from the dwarven race. Well-guarded by the most qualified of dwarven gaolers, the laxening of its security could only be excused by law of entropy, and its distant grandson; erosion – the slow killer that comes to all mountains eventually.

This 39 page single column text describes a dwarf dungeon, with verticality, with about 22 rooms. It’s certainly unique, in both the good and bad contexts of the word. I’m never gonna run the thing. Nor is anyone else. Which is a shame. 

I guess the closest analogy, for this adventure, might be White Plume Mountain. Maybe. The rooms here are a mix between puzzle-like things (sometimes literally, like a chessboard) or rooms that have bend towards something puzzle-like. Or situation-like? Neither seem really fair. There’s some shit going on in this place and  almost every room is involved. And as a result many of the rooms feel like a puzzle, or a Special. It’s really REALLY fucking hard to explain what is going on with the rooms. I’ll come back to this.

The map has a good deal of verticality to it. As a result there is both a traditional two dimensional map as well as a more isometric map that shows the relationship of height to the various rooms. More than this, the rooms, prepper, have verticality to them, with different heights being important to them.  Ladders and tunnels to the top of them, towering overhead. It brings a refreshing dimension to play. Related to this, there are six entrances to the dungeon, most of them tied to a specific hook. The base hook is an entrance on the top that is discovered via airship. Thus you explore the hollowed out mountain from the top down. (Speaking of this, the place is large. Each “square” on the map is not 10’. Or 5’. But, rather, the distance a man can move in one turn. Or, rather “One full movement.” In any event, the scale IS large, but probably not mountain-filling large. One ‘Y’ corridor is, I think, 180’ wide and 1260 feet long. BTW: the grid squares on the map are totally not suited for this sort of thing. Whatever. Cute idea to represent scale.)

The descriptions are absolute garbage. That’s not why you are using this adventure. Room two is an underground lake, with a couple of skeletons in it. The last sentence of the (short one para) description reads “Then they will try to use sharpened hand-bones to cut the ropes of the bridge while tesspassers are still on it.” I note, this is the first mention of a bridge. Looking at both map, along with the description, I can put things together. And that’s what’s going on in this adventures descriptions. You have to REALLY work at what is going on. Transitioning to room three, it’s labeled Night Dwarves. There is … a page? Of text that describes the night drwarf culture and history. Essentially a bad monster manual description. Then finally, you get to the statue of a giant octopus that is OUTSIDE their room. Then, finally, the fat that they are usually gathered around the fireplace in the room while playing cards. Except for one of them. Jesus h christ. There IS no rhyme or reason to what is put ni a room or the order it is put in a room. It just is. Hang on and go with it. In one place you find a bronze sword of wounding (taken from the infamous Garrun bloodletter)” How do you know this? Useless background. 

But, man, the actually the fuck rooms. Like a nightmare of Grimtooth. Some fucked up dragon, a bunch of dwarves, a wizard from the future. Clerics. And this Deathfoam shit all over the place … a kind of last resort trap for the prison complex. Room after room after room of weird shit going on. 

I don’t know. Maybe, one day, dude will get on the right drugs and produce something usable  by the general populace. But that day ain’t today. Rooms of content, that you REALLY have to want to wade through. And I don’t. I’ll just go run Thracia.

https://princeofnothing.itch.io/no-artpunk-ii

Bryce Lynch

View Comments

  • I agree with absolutely everything you said and yet, I could not find it in my heart to exclude it, it was too fascinating. This is like the Waluigi to Unbalanced Dice Games's Wario.

  • This is kind of the problem with these kinds of contests within the niche hobby. You get people taking a stab at things for the very first time right along side people who've been published for years. You get a confusion of standards that ultimately ends up at publication standards, causing first-timers are generally dragged across the coals. Then you go 5 months wailing about how nobody is writing useful shit. Probably because, at a certain point, people with promise said 'fuck it, it's not like I'd get paid real money for this.'

    • The Artpunkman quails at earnest criticism, which to it is worse then violence. It cannot fathom a motivation other then base greed. It thinks we cannot peer behind its thin facade, into the ugly hateful grimace beneath. With desperation it homes in on a ripple, some slight imperfection, before the dust has even settled and hopes this can be the fulcrum of its offensive of lies. If I find a sick enough burn, it gnashes to itself, people will finally stop playing DnD.

      It will die before it ever writes something worth playing.

      • What the fuck is up with these weirdos? Anything that touches on the "NoArt" contest is like catnip for creepy assholes.

        • No kidding. Just a bunch of pathetic dateless trolls living in dark basements and having nothing better to do than pop up here and spout nonsense.

        • It is railing against the status quo of people known for dirty tricks and constant infighting. That's going to attract some rough customers of either stripe.

          • Odd, cause whining about how other people want to play their games seems to be the status quo… all NoArt adds is calling people fags, and play acting the victim, and sometimes spouting 4chan political brain worms.

            So not so much “rough” customers as “shitty” consumers.

          • And the actual adventures which can be played for free and are quite good, and the charity, and the tips to help people and prove and...

            It would help if the ones complaining would actually do something of note to earn their status.

          • And the actual adventures which can be played for free and are quite good, and the charity, and the tips to help people improve and...

            It would help if the ones complaining would actually do something of note to earn their status.

          • I think at this point it is fair to call the antinapsters lazy, entitled, duplicitous wastes of space until they actually get out of their parents basements and finish Bear Jam and have Bryce review it. Shut up and do the work. No one cares about this stupid beef.

    • I think you are correct, Thracian. However, think of these contests like entering the U.S. Open for golf where the average duffer can compete with the best. The duffer doesn’t expect to win, but a great showing is a lifetime memory. I’m just awed that people who want to make $$$ in RPGs bother entering some of these contests with such modest awards. It’s probably just for a little attention, and perhaps an honest critical review. In any case, I only enter my B-rate material in any RPG contest. I figure if people think my B-rate material is a winner then they’ll eat up my A-rate stuff if I ever decide to publish it. I wonder to what extent other contestants do the same.

      • Nah. The idea that getting your name out there in a collection that has a pretty good track record when it comes to quality, particularly in this age, is somehow a detriment seems like a stretch. A lot of very good OSR material was written for beer money or even put out for free.

        Its the challenge. Do you have what it takes? If not, its the reviewing process. Can you get better?

      • Nah. The idea that getting your name out there in a collection that has a pretty good track record when it comes to quality, particularly in this age, is somehow a detriment seems like a stretch. A lot of very good OSR material was written for beer money or even put out for free, as it should be.

        Its the challenge. Do you have what it takes? If not, its the reviewing process. Can you get better?

      • So Anonymous is saying that he/she/they are submitting A-rate material in contests. Interesting. This leaves B-rate material for sale, which explains a lot.

        • I'm not sure it's a question of absolutes. We do this for fun, in the main, without the dread that the well has only so much 'A grade water'.

          Both Prince and Bryce, share the contention, that there's a way of doing this shit in a manner that plays consistently.

          Thus, a contest. Being: 1) a fun process, 2) born out of a belief that things can be done well, 3) engaged in by people for whom the imagination is not a finite resource.

    • "Dragged accross the coals"
      Its literally just criticism bro. Anybody submitting an adventure to Prince ofNothing should be prepared for that. I dobt always agree with brryce but here hes fine.

    • This is a weirdly negative comment from an all new name.

      Somehow, despite contests having been a thing for years, suddenly it is a huge problem that some people are more skilled then others. Then despite that skill differential, the efforts of these newcomers end up in the publication but they get bad reviews. But they would get bad (i.e. constructively critical) reviews if they published anyway. Then someone wails about how no one is writing useful shit (who? where is this happening?). And the cause of the people not writing useful shit is not getting enough money? Are they all in the contest?

      Incorrect Medication? Or incoherent anger? Or is it simply an attempt to cast wanton negativity on a reasonably popular contest?

    • IranThracia40times I just don't get your gripe. There's a confusion of standards? I don't see how that's true, and I don't see how that would be a problem. It's not like this is high stakes. Think of contests like this as a creative challenge. That's all it is.

      And why would Bryce's review put anyone off? I've seen him be a million times more critical. Whether contest or not, most people publishing in the OSR niche are hobbyists. To share your creation, you need to be a little thick-skinned. You've got to actually want to hear constructive criticism. Otherwise you'll never make it in the public square.

      In the past, I thought Bryce was a little too harsh, but I think he's sharpened his criticism these days, and he mostly reserves venom for the most cynical of projects. Enthusiastic newbies should be treated gently. That doesn't mean to give them a pass when they fall short of standards.

  • Would this get a God Effort if it weren't in NAP? I mean, if it's unrunable... isn't this what you advocate for all the time? For adventures to be runable and serve the DM to do so easily?

  • The first mistake has been made when it is thought that B. Ryce plays the game. He plays as the gazelle fights the lion

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Published by
Bryce Lynch
1 year ago

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